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Need help on how to get over this guy


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Hi guys I am going to start using this healing after a breakup forum now since there is definitely no chance of me and my ex getting back together now. We were together a year and a half, been broken up 3 years but have been on and off since then and lots has happened since then. Please read some of my previous posts for more info.

 

I would really appreciate some advice on how to get over him once and for all, Ive wasted too many years on him and now really want to move on for good. We are still staying friends as we have a good friendship and are quite close so how do I do this?

 

Here is my latest threads below for what has happened recently -

 

Update...i moved back home

Hi since my last thread I have moved back home. It has been hard and It was very emotional for me and my ex. He started crying and told me he loves me. I have been back home for about 2 months now and the first month everything was fine, he was still keeping in contact and telling me he loves and misses me but the past few weeks it has been that has been making all the ffort to keep in touch and he seems to be goin out every weekend and when I look on his page on a certain social networking site there is always pics of him with his arm round different girls but he says he isnt dating. I'm confused and wish I knew what to do and if he still has the same feelings for me.

 

 

 

Well he text me today after i confornted him about all the girls on his profile and he basically said we are not gona get back together and to stop trying to stop him living his life! This is a far cry from the man who just 2 weeks ago was telling me he loves and misses me and might want to give things another go after he comes to visit me! He said that he just needed time away from girls as his head is messed up which i stupidly believed and now hes obv lookin for someone else and has forgot about me?! I offered to call him once he has got home from work to give him time to get in and he said to call me while he was driving home from work instead which makes me think that he is meeting up with one of the girls after work! Im so angry and upset.Cant believe he fooled me again!

 

 

Well we are definitely not ever getting back together now. I spoke to him last night and he said that we can stay friends but we wont be getting back together. He also admitted that he has been on a couple of dates and that he does want another girlfriend but he doesnt want to go back, he wants someone new that he has no history with. I'm going to stay friends with him as he has always been there as a friend and has been good to me helping me out, hes like a best friend but after 3 years of being split up and being in the mindset that we are going to get back together I dont know how to change my thinking and fully move on. Any help please? Thanks.

 

Please i need replies and advice on how to get over this

Oh and hes just told me is actually seeing someone else. It makes the whole situation more real, I am so upset. This is obviously the reason why he has changed his mind about us all of a sudden. I just dont know where to start getting over this. I am trying not to look at his page and the girl who he is seeing but I find myself comparing myself to her and I just feel so carp about myself and that Im just not good enough for him. Its just like a big kick in the teeth! How to get over this? Would really appreciate some advice. I need some sort of action plan to sort my head and myself out.

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After finding out my ex has a new girlfriend I am starting to let go and feel like I am starting to get over him. Im just trying not to contact him as I need some space from him to decide whether I want to stay friends. Going out this weekend so that should cheer me up. Ready to find myself a new boyfriend, ive waited too long!

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Here is how I see it. You are still holding out hope that you and he will get back. As much as you would like to tell me no, and say its not true, yes you are. You said that he wanted you two to be friends. Why? Why would you want to be friends with him still. And you used the word Confront as if you still had rights to him and worried about other girls in his life.

Who the heck cares? Its over. Admit that you two wont ever be together, accept that its over and you do what you feel is right to heal your heart. Dont worry about his feelings or hurting him or what he thinks, All of that is irrelevent. Doesnt matter what he thinks, let him get mad at you if you say you cant be friends. Its about you and your feelings, not his.

You really have to think about this tho. Do you accept that its over or do you want to leave the door open for a chance he might come back to you? If you leave that door open, you are will always be in pain, you will always hurt and it will kill you if he even blinks or smiles in the same direction of another girl.

If you want to truly heal, and move on with your life, you have to do what you feel is right to heal. If it hurts to talk to him, then dont talk to him. If it hurts to read old text messages, emails, look at pictures, delete them. Whatever it hurts you to do, change it, fix it. If it hurts to see him, dont see him. If he calls and you dont want to talk, dont answer it. See the pattern here. YOU must heal yourself. Not always be there for him. Not concern yourself for what he might think. He will think about you. Believe me he will regardless if you talk to him or not, he will miss you. So why not do what you feel is right for you? Know it was his loss, not yours. You will move on, you will be okay.

You asked for advice. its the best I can offer you right now.

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Im so scared he is just trying to cut me out of his life since hes been with his new girlfriend. We agreed we would always be friends. Im so upset. I have text him asking him to call me to see whats goin on. I just wake up everyday thinking about him and feeling like crap its horrible. Its worse as I am unemployed at the moment and there is a lack of jobs in my area at the moment so im just bored all the time thinking about the situation and its drivin me mad. I am just so scared hes tryin to cut me out of his life, i really want to stay friends with him.

 

How do i deal with all this? Please help!

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I have accepted that we wont be getting back together and I am slowly getting over him and dont want to get back with him anyway but id still like to stay friends as we have been through a lot together and he has always been there for me and helped me out a lot with things. He means a lot to me and i still want to keep in touch with him. Do you think it sounds like he doesnt want to be friends now?

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Hey hisgirl,

 

You need to get out and take your mind off this. By chasing him you are going to push him further away and make your healing process tougher. It sounds to me like you are not quite ready to just be friends with him.

 

I know how this feels - on Saturday i sent my ex a bunch of red roses with a card that said how i still love her. They get delivered today and since i sent them I have been feeling more down than I did before. I'm now dreading the reply i might get, and equally dreading getting no reply at all. It was stupid of me..

 

During this healing process, you have to protect yourself from further hurt, and he not replying to you is hurting you - the only way to stop this happening is for you to stop trying to contact him. It's harsh but its true..

 

We are all here for you - in the same boat. Feel free to PM me if you want. Just hang in there.. And take care of you.

 

Psi.

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.....and he didnt answer!

 

Can someone please reply and help me i need some support and am goin mad refreshin the page every few minutes wishin for some replies it would be much appreciated, Thanks

 

I will tell you from experience to go ahead and let it all go. Listen to the guy who posted here ..his name is no1. Im telling you...eat those words. You are asking for a lot of hurt and pain and all tha comes with trying to get someone back. He walked out of your life and you have to be okay with that. There is nothing you can do but put yourself in a position to be really hurt. I know what Im talking about. I LIVED IT. No long ago. When someone says ..hey I dont want to be together and we are not getting back together. It is true inside of them. Its time to let this be. Stop calling him and dont let him call you at all

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I have a best friend since I was 9. When we were 18 she moved abroad. Now at 28 we are still best friends. We only talk to eachother every couple of months however, and don't really fb or anything BUT i know she will always be there for me.

 

Why don't you think of your friend like this. I am very envious of you being able to go NC. I wish I could, but I can't. You really must go NC in situations like this. It seems like you're ex has become a habit. Checking up on him etc. I actually believe you that you don't want to be with him, but at them moment you haven't anything else on offer, you are bored and thus are like an addict, topping up on the ex, knowing it's not good for youm but at least it kills the boredom (I say this in the nicest possible way, I'm in the same situation).

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