8 months later, and I feel like its day 1. help!!

[INeedHelpFast]

I feel like I'm back to square one for some reason. I'm trying to get my head out of this whole scenario and focus on school but its upsetting me more than I thought. Its not as bad as it was before but something hurt me a day ago. I run through the scenario over and over again trying to find out what's going on or why my ex is acting like the way she is. A few months after we broke up, I went back to her (which I shouldnt have) and she said we were done for good. I went completely no contact for 5-6 months and she suddenly calls a buddy of mine for normal chit chat. It continues and I tell my buddy to cut her off and ignore her. He does that, and she proclaims that I need to stop being such a panzee and get over it .. the fact that she is trying to be friends with my buddy. So I guess she is pissed off. Why is she trying to be annoying and interfering in my life again? She hasn't contacted me personally but she does things to make me jealous, obviously. Is she just mad that I broke up with her? How do I move on from this? and what should I expect next? I broke up with her 8 months ago because I wasn't being treated the way I wanted to be, and I wasn't respected one bit, so therefore I made a great decision in letting her go. Please can anyone tell me why I feel like I'm back where I started? And what my ex wants from me? I'm trying to be nice and not backfire at her because I feel like it'll pay off in the end.

[catfeeder]

You're ex wants attention from you, and she's ringing your chimes. You're falling for it.

 

Don't respond, and don't try to police your friends. It makes you look like a control freak, and that only makes it easier to keep pressing your buttons.

 

Pipe down, and step off her radar.

[INeedHelpFast]

You're ex wants attention from you, and she's ringing your chimes. You're falling for it.

 

Don't respond, and don't try to police your friends. It makes you look like a control freak, and that only makes it easier to keep pressing your buttons.

 

Pipe down, and step off her radar.

 

does she want attention to make my life miserable? or is she after something else? or anything at all? lol

[Ms Darcy]

A few months after we broke up, I went back to her (which I shouldnt have) and she said we were done for good. I went completely no contact for 5-6 months and she suddenly calls a buddy of mine for normal chit chat. It continues and I tell my buddy to cut her off and ignore her. He does that, and she proclaims that I need to stop being such a panzee and get over it .. the fact that she is trying to be friends with my buddy. So I guess she is pissed off.

 

I'm not so sure she wants attention from you so much as she wants attention. I think it's entirely possible she might have been interested in your buddy for some reason and had a motive entirely unrelated to you. Maybe she thinks 5-6 months is enough time to test those waters.

 

My point is that it does not help you to assume the worst or to try to control your friends. It makes you look like you aren't over her, which you are not, and it makes you feel like she is trying to annoy you.

 

In my mind, this plays out like she rejected you and you aren't taking it well. Sometimes, when you are the person who was rejected, you need more time to 'catch up' and accept that the relationship is over.

[INeedHelpFast]

I'm not so sure she wants attention from you so much as she wants attention. I think it's entirely possible she might have been interested in your buddy for some reason and had a motive entirely unrelated to you. Maybe she thinks 5-6 months is enough time to test those waters.

 

My point is that it does not help you to assume the worst or to try to control your friends. It makes you look like you aren't over her, which you are not, and it makes you feel like she is trying to annoy you.

 

In my mind, this plays out like she rejected you and you aren't taking it well. Sometimes, when you are the person who was rejected, you need more time to 'catch up' and accept that the relationship is over.

 

The reason why I think it was a motive for me were the things that led up to it and the things she would say. A month before it, her friend sent me a friend request, probably for her to look through my profile but ignored it. Around that same time, I heard from a mutual friend that she was clearly not over the break up. Few weeks later, she contacts my best friend and tries to start a normal conversation, but she overdoes it. She would write messages on his profile that were clearly aimed to make me jealous which I can't really explain.

 

I'm not assuming the worst in this scenario, but yeah you're right, im not completely over it. It ended in such a bad way that I told to stay out of my life and not contact my friends, and I wish she respected that, thats why I told him to stop contacting her. I wanted to move on without her in sight. A part of me, deep down, however, still wants her to chase me just so I can tell her "no we're done for good" like she did to me.

[Ms Darcy]

You are twisting yourself in knots because she wrote some things on your friends facebook page? It sounds like all you would need is to make minimal efforts to ignore her so that you don't hear/know any of this. Don't check your friend's facebook page, don't ask mutual friends about how she's doing etc. She's not beating down your door here.