What indicates interest? Don't know if she likes me..

[Prefix]

Hey all,

so I posted here a couple weeks back, got a couple of good responses but I'd be interesting in hearing from more people.

 

Basically I'm a very shy guy (18, senior in High School never done anything with a girl nor had a girl friend, etc). But there is this girl who I am interested in. At times I really think she's interested in me, and at other times I think she isn't. I'll list some things that make me think she's interested and things that don't, then I'd love to hear your opinions.

 

Indicators of Interest

*Has laid her head on my lap

 

*Likes me to play with her hair

 

*has cuddled/"slept" with me (like sleep in the same bed close together, not sex)

 

*generally very physical with eachother

 

*laughs at a lot of my jokes, and we have very similar interests

 

*makes a LOT of eye contact, more than I've ever made with someone

 

*We hang out together a lot, she is usually the one who sets up hang-out time

 

*she bought me a Christmas gift without telling me beforehand (maybe not an indicator of interest but a friendly gesture)

 

Indicators of disinterest

*We hang out a lot, but it's ALWAYS in a group setting - never 1-on-1

 

*I'm not in the best physical shape (not fat or anything, just a little out of shape) and she's not afraid to point it out

 

*We went to a play the other night with some friends and she didn't talk to me the whole night! And seemed really pissed off at me when I tried to talk to her

 

*Has talked to me about her exes (I heard that this can mean shes not interested?)

 

*Rarely interacts with me on Facebook, but does semi-frequently with her other male friends

 

*often laughs and makes jokes with my best friend (who's really clumsy/goofy)

 

 

So what do you all think? Any tips, advice, etc? I'd love to start a relationship with her, I just don't know how to proceed about it.. she's dated two other people, I've never dated, and I'm pretty sure we're both virgins.

Thanks!

[Ittler]

Well it sounds like she is intrested after everything you said. Some girls just have bad days and on those days will not seem intrested at all. Seems like she hints a lot to you, that she likes you. But since you never ask her out, she keeps her options open.

If I was in your position (wish I was) then i would ask her out. You really have nothing to lose and a lot to gain.

Good luck!

[Brightest Dark]

From what you've posted I'd say she sounds interested - especially the laying her head on your lap. I wouldn't do that to a guy unless I liked him. And liking you to play with her hair.

 

The facebook thing... that could still mean she likes you because sometimes we are scared the other person is not interested or scared of seeming too keen. Some guys I like I am less likely to post on their page as I am too self-conscious. I may post on their page less than other guys because with other guys I 'don't care' whereas with the one I like I am too worried of looking like an idiot or something.

[sidehop]

I just get this feeling that she does like you but for some reason she doesn't want her friend to know that she does? Everything you listed seem to indicate she's very comfortable with you yet in a group setting she's making sure she's not too close to you.

 

Have you tried asking her out to go to the movies or any settings where you two can be alone?

[Prefix]

Thanks for the replies everyone,

I agree that, on paper, it seems like she likes me - but I just haven't gotten any sort of "vibe" that she is attracted to me romantically/sexually. I don't know; like I said, I'm young and inexperienced in the dating world so maybe I just haven't developed the proper "radar" for this kind of thing just yet?

 

Sidehop: I have tried asking to just hang out with her, but she always either invites other people OR invites one of her girl-friends at the last minute. She always asks me first though if its ok, which I say yes to because I don't want to sound like a jerk.

 

Thanks again everyone! Let me know if you need any more info or thorough explanations.

[Jake]

So I see you haven't asked her out since your other thread.[-X

 

Just messing with you hehe!

 

Honestly you won't know if she likes you in that way until you ask her out I'm afraid. Look at it this way, if you look at your list you have 2 more signs of interest then not. If you ask her out and she rejects you...that will suck no doubt BUT if you do nothing and stand by as a "friend" while she dates others. That is worse imo.

 

I can't speak for everyone but for me personally as a painfully shy person I've often beaten around the bush and never asked the girl out.

 

I can assure you the regret of never knowing or never asking her out is far worse then rejection....

 

Go for it man! (Although I completely understand how hard that can be...)

 

 

-Jake

[Prefix]

Hahaha, Heya Jake, was hoping no one who saw my other thread would see this one (me = embarassed

 

But yeah, I agree with you. I don't know why this is so hard!!! Ughhhh. I am also a painfully shy person so I spend a lot of time beating around the bush with this kind of thing as well..

 

I guess I just have to man up and do it.

[Jake]

Hahaha, Heya Jake, was hoping no one who saw my other thread would see this one (me = embarassed

 

But yeah, I agree with you. I don't know why this is so hard!!! Ughhhh. I am also a painfully shy person so I spend a lot of time beating around the bush with this kind of thing as well..

 

I guess I just have to man up and do it.

 

I read a suggestion here somewhere (don't remember when) but an ENA member said that the only way he talked to any girls at a party was he gave his friend 100 dollars and told him to give him back 20 bucks for every girl he talked to.

 

You could do a similar thing, give your friend an _____amount that you KNOW will make you ask her out (also pick the friend you can't beat up hahaha)! And tell him only to give it back after you've asked her out.

 

Anyways, just an idea.

 

-Jake

[pinkelephant]

do you think it's possible she just is leading you on and likes the attention from the boys? i got that vibe from your description.

[Prefix]

Well that's kind of my main reasoning for posting this.. I don't really know if she likes me or just generally likes the attention. She's a middle child (they say they like attention and as far as I know she hasn't been super popular with guys before. Do girls who don't constantly have guys hounding them just like getting extra attention every now and then?

[pinkelephant]

Well that's kind of my main reasoning for posting this.. I don't really know if she likes me or just generally likes the attention. She's a middle child (they say they like attention and as far as I know she hasn't been super popular with guys before. Do girls who don't constantly have guys hounding them just like getting extra attention every now and then?

 

i think those who are capable tend to try and get the opposite sex's attention just for the sake of their ego from time to time, but most people also grow out of it. seeing as you're 18 and your description of the things she does, i'm going to say that she probably hasn't.

 

 

how insecure and inconsiderate they are is what determines how far they go/how often they go for the attention. i also think that for girls who don't really have guys after them often tend to try and do this more often and be crueler because it's like sort of exhilarating/new. it's also hard for them to get the attention so they will actually work to keep it. so, they'll lead you on and if you walk away, they'll try to manipulate you back in. but of course, there's always excetpions and this doesn't always apply. this is just my general observations of people in highschool. keep in mind, i didn't hang out with the best crowd nor am i that particularly optimistic about people.

[introvertfem]

just kiss her, see what happens.... that will tell you alot!