His Ex girlfriend is driving me MAD!!

[prettyflyg]

Im a single mum of a 2 year old, for the past 3 months Ive

been seeing this guy who is the best man I have ever met,

hes great with my daughter and we always go out to concerts

and pubs clubs etc. The problem is his ex, he goes to see

her once a week for a couple of hours. Not only that they

were together 4 years and split up 2 years ago when she got

pregnant to someone else through a one night stand. He

still feels sorry for her and she manipulates the situation

by sending him texts and calling him. He used to talk about

her loads and when I brought this up with him he stopped

and instead of calling her by her name he calls her "her

instead. Which isnt a great improvement. He says he loves

me, doesnt care about her, never wants to hurt me etc. What

I cant understand is All my exs are exs for a reason, for

one reason or another the relationship didnt work out and

thereforeeeeeee I dont see them any more.

I really love him, I havnt felt this way about anyone for

years, but whats to say in 5 years time he finishes with me

and goes back to her. I dont want to get hurt or let my

daughter see this bothering me. The other night she called

him at 2am ...whilst he was in bed with me.....do you see

my problem? Any advice would be most welcome.

 

He says hes "never been with anyone like me before. She would never do xyz"... He just cant stop talking about her Does anyone know why hes not with her?? He slept with her behind his last gfriends back also!! He told me this and says he just wants to be honest

[Gilgamesh]

Id say you do have reason for concern, and I dont believe he is completely over her, he may not see her in such bad eyes as he says, he my be justifing her actions because he was doing the same thing.

 

and I hope he is with you because he loves you and not because you do XYZ and she didnt.

 

tread carfully with this one, your going to have to talk to him about this, and he needs to resolve this for good, one thing is being friends with your ex, another is being in contact with her constantly, tell him your concerns, and tell him how serious you are about them. make it clear.

 

your correct in your feelings of insecurity with him because I dont see him giving you the full dedication and respect you deserve here. he should tell her that its over and that he has a new life, that he is her friend, but please not to interfere with his relationship with you, and not to call at 2am unless its an emergency.

 

give him a talk, be strong, good luck.

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

I agree with Gilgamesh. It is too insane that she calls at 2am. That is just downright wrong. Worse thing is that he puts up with it, too.

 

My advice is as effective as it is simple: I suggest that you talk it out of his head. It looks like that you have had enough of this. I live by the rule that says this: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy."

 

This rule applies here. YOU are not happy him talking about her constantly and being in contact with her this close. Like Gilgamesh said: "It's okay to be friends," but to be honest, I wouldn't have put up with it.

 

I hope this gave you some courage to address the questions you have and bring it to maximum exposure. I think this is really important to you.

 

I wish you luck and strength to do this.

 

~ SwingFox ~