The Great Friendship Debate

[bostonchiiiiica]

Alright, I have been scouring these boards and have found mixed ideas about being friends with the ex to get them back. So, let's have a formal vote with comments encouraged. Keep in mind that I mean being friends a few months after the breakup, not right after it and that while you are friends with them, you make it appear as though you are moving on.

 

Does encouraging a friendship with an ex:

 

A) Allow them to become comfortable just being your friend, and essentially allow them to rid themselves of all guilt and romantic feelings remaining since you are being friendly?

 

OR

 

B) Help your chances in them seeing you really love them so much you want to have them in your life in whatever way is possible and perhaps encourage them to see you in the romantic light again? Maybe in this light they will see you as they did before you had problems?

[kate111]

Im not in favour of either of these approaches.

 

I think somewhere in the middle is better. Better to allow them to contact you occasionally and for you to give them snippets of what they are missing out on. This means being as attractibve as possible. Sexy, attrctive but definitely not hanging on their every word.

 

You have to make it seem as if while you like them and find them attractive, they (the ex) is not the be all and end all of your life.

 

This allows them to doubt their decision to dump you (as Michael2 so aptly puts it).

[melrich]

I agree with Kate111. Best response is to get on with living your life, and stay friendly and in occasional contact as friends would be.

[fantasia2004]

I agree and I really don't know how that works especially if they are dating someone else.

 

Out of sight out of mind

[Spruitt123]

I also think a or b is a good approch!!!!

Good luck!