I cant stop planning my death

[spring_piston]

everyday i plan out a new way to kill myself, each time i become more efficient and come closer to carrying out the plan. i want to die, i do not enjoy life in the slightest way. nothing is enjoyable for me, except this one girl, but since she is in love with my best friend i gave up on her. i dont know what to do, im never happy, i cant remember the last time i laughed without having to physically and painfully try. i am happy when i am around the girl, but that only makes it worse because when she leaves i remember how she does not love me the same as i love her, i feel like a wuss, i often cry myself to sleep, i often scare the crap out of my friends with sudden outbreaks of rage or sorrow. its ruining my life. im 15 and i weigh around 90 pounds, i havent had anything to eat for three days now. im not anorexic or anything, im just not hungry. i cant sleep at night. i hate humans. they all just have so many problems. nobody wants to be around me because im always so melancholy. someone. please. anyone help me.

[EnolWolf]

I know what it's like to be that way. I was through midle school. It just seems like everything is going wrong all the time and there's nothing you can do about. So you feel that things will always be that way and never change. Things can't be that bad. It's only what you make it out to be. Don't kill yourself. It's never worth it and doesn't solve anything. It will only make things worse. Think about how everyone will feel if you're gone. You would be missed so much. That's my advice.

 

I would STRONGLY RECCOMMEND that you talk to your parents about this. It might be hard to do, but you have to go to them first. Secondly, you should see a psychiatrist because you seem to have a huge problem with depression.

 

I hope you seek help soon. Don't make the wrong turn. It's never worth it.

[Stinkweed]

We are in similar situations. The only reason I get out of bed is because of a girl too. But I also feel like a wuss because I haven't talked to her yet. I also have wanted to kill myself multiple times, but it's not really a solution. It only leaves suffering to your relatives, and it will leave your problems behind without ever being solved. Well, the only noticeable difference between you and me is that I'm 16, but weight 225 pounds. I also find it difficult to sleep at night, but I don't hate humans. Their problems are their problems. You know, they are not "Supposed" to like you. If they don't like you, it's their loss. Besides, I know that everything bad in my life is brought onto me by myself. I also am depressed most of the time, because the only goals that make me want to get out of bed in the morning are also the only ones I can't accomplish. But most of the time, when I'm around people (especially if they talk to me), I fake being happy and upbeat. That way, I can socialize more. But on the inside, I'm just like you, very frustrated. Finally, I just need to tell you what I tell myself and everyone who wants to die (people who don't should also liste), find a center for your life. Whether it's a new friend, or that girl you like, or even a hobby. I know it's hard (I'm having problems talking to the girl I like because it' really easier said than done), but it's got to be possible. Just try, and never forget that you're certainly not the only one who is in that situation, and not the only one trying to get out of it. Best wishes. Good luck. Pm me if you ever want to talk, because after all, it takes two blind men to see, and two cripples to scratch an itch.

[-trapped-soul-]

sorry to hear and I know life does suck majorly, do oyu have msn messenger you can add email removed to your contacts and we can talk more, I dont know exactly the whole situation but it doesnt sound good at all, especially the eating thing please I urge you to have something no matter what please have something to eat...

 

are oyu close to your parents? if oyu are tell them the situation I am not close to mine so I dont tell them I did tell my friends though they think its weird. They do normally joke aoubt it and tease me I dont see what the problem is with people who are depressed they seem to hate us! I am so sorry about all of this and so hope ot gets better...

 

Sam xxx

[Ingrid]

Please, don't do anything to yourself and get help asap. Adolescence is a very difficult period in life, for everybody but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

You really need to see someone about this. If you don't want to tell your parents, they might not understand you, go and see the psychologist at your school. If nobody is available at school, just go to the hospital or call a 1 800 line.

 

You are probably depressed. Please keep us posted!

 

Take care, we all care about you!

 

p.s. we all go through a love crisis, and then we all cope with it!

[spring_piston]

wow thank you all so much, i am actually feeling a lot better right now. yes i know i have a serious case of depression, i even take medication for it. but it seems to stem from this girl that i like. she is like a drug to me. i love her so much, i just wish i could hold her for the rest of my life, and she even thought she was in love with me for a while, but we are really close friends, and she ust mistaked that for love. but i think i can move on now. i feel fine but it just scares me sometimes to think how comfortable about death i am. my parents already know about the issue, because they found a razor in my pocket. i think i am slowly but surely pulling out of this. thank you all for your support. oh btw i am eating more too.

[Stinkweed]

I know exactly how you feel man. I also feel the girl I like is like a drug to me. But, you just do what you can. It will be better than just dying and leaving everything like that. Hope you get rid of that depression. I'm glad we could all help you.

[dotneter]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

Many of us have been in the situation you have--not many dare to admit it though. I spent 3 out of 4 years of high school completely gaga over a girl, spending each day planning a way to talk to her, and feeling like a complete loser when I didn't even come close. I've been out of high school for 4 years now, and now looking back it doesn't seem nearly as bad.

 

Maybe you should put some space between you and this girl. It doesn't help you overcome the pain of not having her when she's still there as a constant reminder. How are you with animals? Have you considered visiting an animal shelter in your area? All your problems seem to melt away when the little wet nose of a little puppy rubs against your hand!

 

If you don't feel like you can talk to your parents, maybe try a counselor at school, or anyone at all, but please talk to someone about this. You need to know that even though things seem grim right now, things will get better!

 

Take care of yourself!

 

-Dw

[spring_piston]

i cant distance myself from her, i have tried. i mean, i fail tests that i study 2 hours every day for a week in advance because during the test all i can think about is her. i dunno, i think i can move on now, it seems to feel better when i lie to everyone that im over her, i told her that too, i feel somewhat better now, but in my heart i still know that i would give anything to spend the rest of my life with her.

[brit]

life is wonderful and no girl or guy is worth hurting yourself for. you are young. you need to speak to someone. the summer is here. go to baseball games, go rollerblading, take in movies and concerts. but please don't hurt yourself. you need to tell you parents you are going through a tough time. it will end, trust me. we have all been there.