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Are any of you still awake? I'm so up and down lately its ridiculous. I have come a long way since the break up, but I still have bad days. This is the first day I've really cried in a while. I'm lying in our bed right now in the dark. I try not to think about memories at all, but tonight all I've done is lay and looked around the bedroom and everything reminds me of him and I still cannot sleep on his side of the bed. He has our daughter tonight too and I'm really missing her aswell. I fell asleep for half an hour earlier and when I woke up I went to check that she was ok only to panick because she wasnt there and then I realised she was at her his house tonight. I am finding this all so hard. I started dating other guys a few weeks ago and even thought I liked a couple of them, only to feel sick again at the thought of actually being with them the last couple of days. I hate having to see him, it is stalling everything. Especially the way he looks at me when I do. I just want to grab him and hug him every time and I can't

How you all doing tonight?

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Be good to yourself. Grieve it out. It's cleansing. As hard as it seems, at least you get to see him even though it's not in the same context. Some of us don't get to see our exes at all...no kids or property together. How long were you together? I know it sucks. The adjustment is really tough..waking up with the realisation that everything has changed. If you are spiritual, now is the time to tap into that source of strength. You don't have to fight the memories...I've found that the more you suppress the worse it can get. ENA is here for you. It's great that you've tried dating...I have too after a five year rel/ship....and it wasn't too great..but I now know it was too soon. I hope you feel better. Spend time with family and/or friends if you can.

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We were together almost 3 years but known eachother for 7+ years. No trust me, having to see your ex who doesn't feel the same way about you is worse. Then its so much harder to move on because you have to see and speak to them all the time face to face and he sucks the life out of my every time he leaves the house. Its not a good thing at all. I'm just fed up feeling like this now. Its so consuming. I am getting on with things and happy a lot of the time, but then as soon as I'm alone again I just come crashing back down. No its things like the wardrobe that we both put together and when we painted the walls and ended up having a play fight with the paint...those sort of memories from the bedroom so I can't really hide any of them. His Mam works part time and doesn't drive so she couldn't get our daughter unfortunately.

 

How you all coping?

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I feel for you. It is so very hard.......Let yourself feel it so you move through and past. You will heal.....it is just eventually which is torture.

 

I am having a tough night. I thought I had let go of the anger. Yet tonight I am angry. Very angry. Not that I would say anything that I am yelling out loud to him - or really feel this way towards him. I just am frustrated. I too want to move past the thoughts and be over this.

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Anger is good to feel and get through but forgiveness is where the real power lies. And I do forgive him. I am just not there 100%. I still miss him. I want him back. I know that getting back right now would be the worst thing for the both of us. I am angry, frustrated and pissed off to find myself here. I just want to move on. I do not want to sit around waiting and hoping. I have no idea how long each of our journeys to "healed" will take - therefore I have to move on so I can focus on healing and who knows maybe one day the starts will align - but I am not hoping or waiting. They may never align again but I will be better in the long run.

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Babe, just hang in there. Keep pushing on. I think you can become exhausted by putting on a front when he's around. Yes, it is a method of winning someone over, by playing cool, but I cannot tell you the relief I felt yesterday when I let all my feelings out to my ex. It was like a huge cloud lifted from over me. Be honest with yourself and him. If he asks how you're feeling, just tell him. You seem like a lovely person, and you're gorgeous too. If it's right, he will come back around; if it's not, then you WILL meet someone else just as wonderful, and you WILL have all those things to look forward to again. Drop me a message if you're feeling down.

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