I hate this feeling..

[CSB]

I had a previous thread about my jealousy/control issues with my bf. I deleted it because I was afraid he might see it. Long story short: I'm a horrible person, extremely jealous, and try to control everything.

 

I thought I was getting slightly better after some advice, but its clear to me I am just as bad as ever. I hate myself and don't know what to do. I am a control freak and I can not afford to see a therapist even though I obviously need one.

 

I NEED HELP or I'm going to wreck everything.

[Scorpion Fury]

has he done anything to make you suspicious or distrusting of him, or is this coming from you?

[CSB]

has he done anything to make you suspicious or distrusting of him, or is this coming from you?

 

ALL me...he has done absolutely nothing since we started dating 4 years ago. He has been supportive, amazing, open, honest and not at all suspicious. Its totally something within me.

 

The only thing that I guess could have contributed to me acting this way was BEFORE our relationship we were good friends. One night he told me he liked me - and I liked him too - but then my best friend also told me she liked him so I told him it was probably not going to happen because of my friend. He insisted he would wait it out until me and my friend could talk about it and agree on something, but he would flirt a lot with another girl and I always questioned it. It took like a month for him to finally admit to me he had feelings for this other girl, but things never panned out between the two of them.

 

About 8 months later we ended up getting together. Since then, he has barely even looked at another girl. We live together, spend all of our time together, and he never does anything shady or secretive.

 

UGH

[Scorpion Fury]

then you gotta figure out what it is about yourself is making you insecure. cause obviously he thinks you're awesome because he's obviously into you.

 

And JUST. STOP. IT. one of those things you just gotta kick yourself in the ass and force yourself to do. Seriously.

[CSB]

I am learning to get better...it just takes time

[Scorpion Fury]

i think your only two choices here are to force yourself to knock it off (I have successfully forced myself to do many things), or go to counseling.

[Scorpion Fury]

For starters, call him and apologize right now.

[CSB]

For starters, call him and apologize right now.

 

I know thats what I want to do....but actually picking up the phone and doing it, makes me feel like a fool.

 

Edit -- I just texted him (hes at work so he cant talk). He hasn't responded yet, but I did tell him I was sorry.

[marionette13]

I know thats what I want to do....but actually picking up the phone and doing it, makes me feel like a fool.

 

Edit -- I just texted him (hes at work so he cant talk). He hasn't responded yet, but I did tell him I was sorry.

 

 

That's all you can really do at this point. I pissed off my gf this past weekend with my insecurities and jealousy so I know how you feel. I said I was sorry, but after nearly 7 years and this being one of the "many" times it can start to take it's toll. Realizing you have to stop this before you push them away is easier said that done, but that's when you really need to take a step and realize the problem lies within you. After that, it's up to you to work on yourself to get over it. My biggest problem comes afterwards when you're trying to tell them you're sorry. I start getting anxious wondering if she's going to forgive me or finally decide enough is enough.