I am not convinced that she serious abt me.....

[Confused-guy]

Hi, this girl has just broke off from her last 1 and half year relationship.... it is 3 weeks ago... From then i started to get close to her... she noes all along that i liked her for abt 9 months already... she also noes that i am serious abt her.. She told me on our first day out(before she broke off with he bf) that she used to have a crush on me when i told her that i liked her then but she just wanna stick to her bf then.... abt 1 and half week after her broke off, we started to hold hands and we mistakenly can't control our temptation, we have sex 1 night... on the third week now she we goes out and act like normal couple. we kissed almost in our every date.... she told me that i am not her boyfren yet... Although she have a crush on me, she does not feels confident that we will be together forever... she don love me that much yet she says... AM I A REBOUND GUY??? she says that she don wanna get into a relationship with me as she says that if she did that she will hurt me more... she says she needs time to forget her EX completely and start to Change the crush into LOve for me so that we can have some long-term relationship.... I really feels like i am her rebound guy and nothing much... day by day i try to forget her and she told me that day by day she feels closer and closer to me... I told her before that if she wants me onli as a fren, i will stop having that kinda feeling and will treat her as her fren and she looks sad and told me that time is all she needs.... Until now i feels that i am her rebound guy.... she still not confident that she will ended up with me as her last ever relationship.... she say she just need rest and freedom for a while and will start a relationship in months time... She say that she thinks that she will finally end up with her first boyfren.. but also say that she got no feelings for him already... i told her to go back to him ler and not me if she wants to be with him.... she says she onli do that if she failed with me 1 day... she say she has been on/off relationship with her first EX for 5 years now... but insist that she can't go back to him as she got no chemistry with him anymore... What am i to her???

[mermayd]

What I am about to say may not be what you want to hear, but I trust that you (and many others) come to this site for honest advice. I think that this girl may have an interest in you and what she says may be valid and true. However, it sounds like she is confused and she is stuck with the thought of being with her ex. I wouldn't say that you are her "rebound guy" but it is possible that she is using you as a comfort blanket. If no one else works out, then she has you. My suggestion is to be her friend if you think that is possible but dont allow her to use you the way she is. Even if she does care about you, thats not right to wait for someone else while she is with you. Consider her remark about not being in a relationship with you right now. She doesn't want to hurt you b/c of all of the things that are going on in her head. She is right, if you are together, she will hurt you more. But yet, at the same time, she is keeping you around just enough to be able to fall back on you b/c she knows that you care deeply for her. I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but honesty prevails and you should try to not let this turn into a strong relationship considering the grounds that it is on.