Girlfriend hit me, don't know what to do exactly.

[jul-els]

Dysfunctional boundaries does not a happy life make. You can make excuses or make choices. The choices are not always easy, but a person with self respect will make the appropriate ones. If a person wants to accept subpar behavior and thinks it's good enough or that they deserve it then all the rationalizing in the world is not going to cover up how utterly miserable they feel. And they will only continue to feel worse and more stuck as the situation progresses. Physical violence is a major personal violation and a huge red flag. It's a matter of taking responsibilty for one's own well being.

[8amallday]

I'm sorry that I haven't been back to this thread in a while!

A lot has happened in here, it seems.

 

I'd like to thank everyone again for their support and advice, it was really helpful and reading it now is even helpful.

 

I appreciate the different views as well. Although I may not agree with some things that have been said in this thread, I do appreciate these thoughts.

 

Since the incident, my girlfriend has been doing a lot better. She has realized on her own (meaning without me getting on her about seeking professional help or anything) that she might have a few problems that are out of her control and she is beginning to get proper help for them. She also knows exactly how I feel about everything regarding this situation and she has expressed remorse and sorrow for it all more than a few times.

 

She is a good woman. I love her dearly. I will not hesitate to leave her if this EVER happens again.

 

For the record, I would never hit her back. No way. Retaliation to a purely violent act is not okay with me.

It isn't even that I am afraid to be labeled as a "woman beater". That is the least of my concerns. If I were to want to hit her, I would worry most about how it would make her feel and how it would make me feel. However, I do not feel violent or aggressive towards her and I hope that I never will.

 

You guys have been really cool throughout all of this and I thank you all again for the help!

 

If there is anyone else experiencing anything slightly similar to this and you are feeling confused, please, start posting and we can start helping.

[yeawutever]

She is a good woman. I love her dearly. I will not hesitate to leave her if this EVER happens again.

This is exactly what mature, civilized people do. You either work out on the relationship or leave.

For the record, I would never hit her back. No way. Retaliation to a purely violent act is not okay with me.

It isn't even that I am afraid to be labeled as a "woman beater". That is the least of my concerns. If I were to want to hit her, I would worry most about how it would make her feel and how it would make me feel. However, I do not feel violent or aggressive towards her and I hope that I never will.

You are correct on that one. If you go straight to retaliating, not only did you scoop low just like her, but you created an impact on both you and her. In addition, she's going to lose all respect for you as a whole.

To some people who think that retaliating will make the person gain respect for you are distorted. The person will probably end up hating you for a lifetime.

If I was the OP's girlfriend and he retaliated, there would be zero respect for him. The reason would not nothing to do with the wife-beater label but because he copied me, lowering himself to my level (esp. someone who claimed to loved me). There's always the option to either work it out and put and ultimatum (meaning next time it's over) or leave.

[Bipolargod]

I envy this guys perseverance, I've never been in an abusive relationship. I was raised to treat women with respect and I always have and I hope I always will. BUT, I don't know if I could stop myself if a girl full on blasted me. Like if you are gonna be beating on me like a guy then you deserve to be treated like one too in that instance......IDK AND what is to stop her from knifing you with the butcher knife next time she really loses it. You will be leaving for sure, in an ambulance or casket.