i have a question about FIRST DATES: me and her OR

[sfboi415]

me, her and one of her girl friends?

 

hi, I just figured this girl out in my class..

she gets nervous when a guy asks her to be in a situtation where it's only the two of them, hence a date. For example, at the end of the semester I asked her if she would like to meet at a coffee cafe (since most students at our school like to do that), and she completely flipped, saying things like "..I'm not really looking for a relationship right now" instead of something normal like "my friend's birthday party is on that day, I can't make it" or "I'd love to go but as you know I don't drive"

 

Anyway, I've decided to change my tactics. I already told her that there will be a big BIG Carnaval parade happening at the end of this month. I haven't asked her officially if she'd like to go, however when I do I might bring up the "you and one of your friends can come along too" method.

 

By inviting one or two more people along, is that always wise for first dates? I know that first dates have more impact when it is just me and her only. However, this is a special case..I kinda feel that she'll be more at ease if one of her girl buddies is with us, and if things work out well, even her girl friend might think I'm an OK guy to hang around with in the future, romantically/non-romantically.

 

Guys, could you please tell me if I should do first dates the traditional way? Thanks!

[AB38]

Sounds like she is ultra shy, and that's ok. I think you are taking the correct approach.

 

Keep her at arm's length for now. Ask her once, and if she says no, don't ask her again. If she does decide to go, once again, stay at arm's length. Let her know that you are there as a group of people just having a good time. When she sees that you are not pressuring her for a date, she will come around.

 

I have dated shy people before, it will take a great deal of patience if you decided to pursue this.

 

Good luck.

[Sebulous]

but the shy ones tend to be the freaky ones in bed!!

 

Yes, groups are good. women feel more secure in groups. they feel they can protect each other in groups. Hence the reason they go to bars in groups if they don't want to hook up with guys, or even if they do. They can call out flaws on the guy and make the girl have doubts about the guy. so yes, groups are more secure way for shy people. Have her take a friend of her choice if you could.

 

Do try to get a quick moment alone near the end of the date / outting to invite her on a real date.

[Silent Man]

but the shy ones tend to be the freaky ones in bed!!

 

Yes, groups are good. women feel more secure in groups. they feel they can protect each other in groups. Hence the reason they go to bars in groups if they don't want to hook up with guys, or even if they do. They can call out flaws on the guy and make the girl have doubts about the guy. so yes, groups are more secure way for shy people. Have her take a friend of her choice if you could.

 

Do try to get a quick moment alone near the end of the date / outting to invite her on a real date.

 

Good Advice

[sfboi415]

Cool, guys! Finals are OVER so now's a good time to plan this out with her..

Thanks

[Screamindemonuk]

Maybe she needs to get to know you better before a date. A group gathering is always a good thing for this. Just don't show off too much. I used to fall foul of that. Be yourself.