Frustrating day...need to vent

[Daligal83]

So many things irritated me today. My coworker is going through a very hard time right now because her mother has stage four colon cancer and they just found out that it spread. I've been very patient and supportive with her (we share an office, just the two of us) of course, which isn't always easy because she a very emotional person when she isn't going through a crisis, so it's of course magnified right now (which I don't blame her at all, it's just exhausting to bear the brunt of her mood swings at times).

 

Today we got into a conversation about the after-life, which she believes in. I stated that I didn't have a belief either way because there's just no way for me to know what happens after we pass, but that I hope she's right. She got upset with me and told me that my beliefs are sad. And it was said in a mean and condescending way. I understand she's doing it out of hurt because there's a good chance she will lose her mother, but I didn't tell her she was wrong at all. I just said I didn't know what happens so I can't claim to believe in anything personally. I got really offended that she put down my beliefs like that.

 

Later on she was telling me some gossip (which she does a lot). There was a rumor that a former employee, M, had a lesbian affair with our boss, C. M was fired a long time ago and the rumor was going around since the day I started over a year ago. So today my coworker comes in saying that our boss told her that when her mother died, she had a lot of people over and a friend tucked her into bed, scratched her back until she fell asleep and cleaned up all the dishes. My coworker was like, I bet it was M! I told her that it could be absolutely anyone and we don't know what her life is like outside of the agency and that while it could be M, it really could be anyone. Apparently she didn't like that because she mocked me about it later on. I made a comment about someone and she said in a sarcastic tone, "well you don't know that do you, we don't know what she does outside of here." And I did have a basis for my comment, it wasn't out of the blue. I called her out on it and was like, L, you are mocking me. She says, no I'm not, I'm just being Daligal! I said, no, you are mocking me. She goes, well I'm older! I told her being older doesn't give her a free pass to do whatever she wants. She uses that excuse ALL the time. She is 18 years older than me I think.

 

And the thing is, I can't bring this up with her that it really bothered me because of everything she's going through. So basically I've decided to just shut my mouth and just nod and smile when she talks because I'm sick of her attitude. I've been so patient, but I've been dealing with this for so long now. The second I walk into our office, I don't even have time to take a breath before she's complaining about something. And this is what she was like even before all the issues with her mother. So it's hard for me to just sit there and listen, which is why I will challenge what she says if I disagree. But I guess I can't do that anymore because it's not worth being mocked for. That is just so disrespectful.

 

And then, I had put some food in the fridge at work. It was for a friend of mine at my gym, it was black bean and couscous salad. I go to get it at the end of the day, and someone ate half of what was in the container! Who does that?? It's obviously not theirs. How do you eat half of it? And now I have to toss it because I don't trust that they didn't eat straight out of the container.

 

Ugh just a very frustrating day.

[Dinka]

*hugs*

 

Your coworker is stressing...but don't allow it to stress YOU out!

 

Take some time off from your coworker. Avoid her whenever possible. You can politely tell her that you're busy working on something and that you'll catch up later if she starts yakking your ear off! YOU need your mental health TOO.