Sad about loseing a friend- Need advice

[almostgolden]

Hey Everyone. I'm sad because I think I am loseing a close (online) Friend & I dont know what to do. I've tried really hard thro out the whole friendship of keeping contact with him thro emails & such. We didnt fight or anything so its nothing like that. I just havent heard anything from him in like a month. NO emails & everytime I see him on aim noticed that every time i come online and he is there, he signs off almost immediately, or if he comes online while I am on he does not stay on for long. IF he does come on & I go to im him he doesnt answer me back & then a min or so later he signs off without a "Hey" I dont know if its just me all in my head & i am being upset over nothing or if there really is a problem & that maybe he doesnt want to talk to me much or at all anymore. I relieze he has school , a gf & everything that hes very busy. But, how long does it take for a "suppose to be" close friend to contact you again? I feel like i am being avoided. I haven't emailed him at all this month yet because i dont know what to say or how to say things. & I also have a fear that he may not answer me back & that will make me even MORE sad. Yes, hes a interent friend ,we never met in person but I always considered him a very close friend thats how i treated him..just like how i treat the friends here were I live. Even on B-days & holidays I sent letters, cards & little gifts to him. He calls me usually ever couple months for holidays. The last time he called me was a Day after Easter which i thought that was very sweet & I wrote him a letter saying thanks again for calling me, I emailed him too but i havent talken to him in a while & i dont know why. Sometimes i feel like hes mad or hates me thats why I havent heard from him in weeks.

I known him for almost 3 years & we manage to got this far in the friendship. Is it just me or do you think something is wrong? Please help, i cant stop thinking of my friend, i wanna hear a reply back

 

I feel as if he doesnt care for the friendship anymore

 

Thanks

~ almost golden

[vfunkera]

Hey Almostgolden,

 

This guy's actions mirror that of an ex who is trying to avoid the one who is chasing them.

 

I think his actions are clear enough and i would stop contact with this 'friend' now since he doesn't seem to be giving you much effort or hope. Don't you deserve to be called now and then? You shouldn't be the only one calling because its not fair to have a one-sided communication, and when there is just one-sided communication it will NEVER work- friendship or relationship wise. He knows your number/e-mail too, so if he is going months without contact, then i think you should get the message.

 

Friends come and go. Internet friends especially are likely to come and go. You will meet plenty of new people now and in the future, so don't fret because this one wasn't worthy of a friendship as valuable as the one you was offering. And who knows, he might just come crawling back to you.

 

*And yes i think his girlfriend picking up 20 minutes later was a blatent set-up by him. Let go of this loser since he had the ordacity to do that to you*.

 

Good luck

[almostgolden]

Thanks for the advice! I know i am mad that he did that to me so you know starting tomorrow, i am doing the no contact rule & i am going to stick with it no matter what .

 

ah, i am going to need alot of support with this tho.

[vfunkera]

I don't think you should take this like its a relationship break-up. It may resemble a relationship break-up, but its only a friendship that isn't working, so don't take it so seriously!

 

What you need to remember is that people don't hang around where they are not wanted, and at the moment his actions are suggesting you get lost, so why stay? Unless he begins to show some respect and open up a new line of communcation to you- where he will be participating and caring about you as well- then go and find some new friends. People round your area (though not exclusively) who share the same hobbies as you and who you can trust. Or the current people you have as friends now maybe more then enough.

 

If you are struggling letting go of this friend, or making new friends, then remember we are all your friends here so lean on us when your not strong, and vent while we listen .

 

Good luck

[almostgolden]

yeah, I just dont understand because all I ever did is try to be a real good friend to him & I was.

I'm not going to cry or be mad about this anymore.

 

I am & will have ALOT of trouble letting this friend go, I know i will.

 

Even the thought of it hurts but I feel theres nothing I can do anymore.

 

 

Like they say "if you love it , let it be" If it comes back, its meant to be.

[healing]

Is it possible that you had feelings for him that were more than friendship?

I'm just wondering.