very lonely and depressed :/

[missa_bee]

Hi guys, my boyfriend and I are broken up for good. We tried being friends for about a month, but he recently said that I was making him feel uncomfortable because we were texting too much and he was still coming to visit me at work...I was so happy because I thought we were getting back together but he just changed his whole attitude in a day. He was acting very nasty towards me and now he barely will contact me at all. I have a feeling that he may have met someone else, which makes me want to crawl up in a ball and cry my eyes out. I just love him so much still, but I know I have to let it go. I just seem to lack the energy do do anything, and I have one best friend who has a boyfriend and I barely get to see her I really don't have any other close friends except for a few acquaintances that I would never really confide in. So I just sit here, day after day waiting for this veil of depression to lift. I know it's over, but somewhere inside hope still gnaws within me and it kills me to think that I will never be with him again. I just miss him. I feel so incomplete without him and I don't even think he cares, anymore at least. I'm not going to text and bother him as much as I want to, because I know it will just irritate him. I went to the mall, to do some shopping and I had to leave because the Christmas decorations just made me feel so sad....he is also leaving on a study abroad trip for a few weeks and I'm worried about him but I know he is looking forward to this and I'm not a priority anymore. I just think about him all the time, I'm still so in love with him. When I see other guys, I don't even care...he was the best looking guy in the world to me. I cherished him so much, I would take him back in a second. I guess I don't really know what advice I need. I tried going to therapy but I just felt that it wasn't right for me, it's hard for me to talk about my feelings with a total stranger. I read to him this whole diary entry and he didn't even comment about it...its just why waste my time? I'm also very aggravated with myself and irritable with my parents because of how miserable I am. I was so happy, and now my life just seems so bleak. He made me feel so special, and now that he's gone nothing is the same. I don't know what to do I just need help but I'm not even sure....I just miss my baby.

[Lesleyb05]

I know what you are going through. My ex was not only my boyfriend he was my best friend, my lover and my world. I still feel like a part of me is missing and that I will never find that connection with anyone ever again. He hurt me so badly and yet I still love and miss him. I want more than anything to just call him but I know I cant. I let him become my world because I thought I would never need anyone but him so I also don't have many friends that I can really depend on. I guess I am learning the hard way. My parents are here for me but I think they are starting to get really annoyed with me crying all the time. But everyone heals differently so don't ever feel bad about that. I am not interested in dating anyone else in the least bit but I know thats because my heart is still with him. All you can do is just work on letting go and healing. Just take it one day at a time. Try and focus on yourself and what you want from life. When you are ready you will find someone else and make new memories.

[iceti]

Hi missa bee, you are still young so I am pretty sure you will meet someone else who will treat you the way you deserve.

 

In the meantime, try to do a lot of things to help you get through your feelings. Try to do stuff with a lot of social interaction and that will keep you busy.

 

Join a tennis club or volunteer for charity work for example.

 

Sign up for a weird class at your local community college (maybe underwater basketweaving or how to solve a rubik's cube) or learn to play an instrument.

 

Lesleyb is right, try to focus on yourself. By doing things, it may help you focus on yourself.

 

I wish you all the best.

[wanderer]

i agree with iceti, now is the time to make some kind of change in your life that will help define the new single you. a new hobby or some kind of routine change for the better, like exercising (if you don't already) not only will this help take your mind off the pain you're going through, but it will also boost your confidence and give you another feather in your cap so to speak - imagine the whole new audience of people you will meet if you take up a musical instrument? you get the idea.

 

outside of that, just know that it's going to take time to heal. it may seem like you will be in pain forever, but the world will keep on spinning and you will get stronger and stronger every day.

[wanderer]

also, a quick example:

 

my ex and i broke up about a year ago. she took it very hard and it was both painful to see her so sad and difficult to tell myself that i made the right decision breaking it off with her. but i noticed that she picked up playing the guitar after we split, and now she's dating some musician guy that she met in her music class, and who she seems to dig very much.

 

that should teach me a lesson... wait

[Ms Darcy]

A little tough love honey. If you had time to text and see your ex so much, you have time for friends. I think you need a shift in priorities. Your priority should be to heal yourself and to be happy. Talk to your best friend and tell her that you need more time with her. Go see another therapist (shop around ... they are working for you so if you don't like one then go for another) and develop a trust relationship with that person so they are not a stranger.

 

As others have suggested, pick up a hobby. Also, cut off contact with your ex. That will help you slowly start to think of him less. Make healing your #1 job right now. Good luck!