Breakthrough?

[Nappyloxs]

My ex. has now called me twice this week in response to the shortest most pointless emails. One about money I was sending her that I owe her and the second about sorry for emailing her a dozen times after the 1st phone call.

 

What the hell? Why after these emails and not all the "I love you, blah, blah, blah," emails.

 

She still cares, but is scared. She won't open up, though. I don't blame her.

 

She wants me to go date other women!! Yet, she says that "she is not coming back, right now."

 

We talked for 2.5 hours. So that is good.

 

Why is she calling?

 

Is she playing games? Is she actually seeing that I love her and is putting out "feelers" to see what happens?

 

I think she tells me to date other women because then it is easier for her to completely let go. Am I wrong?

[Hopeless1234]

 

 

obviously every relationship is different so what i've learned may not apply in your situation. having said that, what i can advice from my experience is quit trying to figure her out. just live your life and do things to become a better person... not necessarily for her, but for yourself. in my situation, i only wish to talk to my ex if she wants to reconcile and try things again. if you want to talk to your ex, do so, but keep it light and nothing about the past, unless she brings it up. even then, don't get all deep and sentimental about it.

 

ultimately, i think the question you really have to ask yourself is whether your ex would have contacted you had you not contacted her first. i understand that she had ignored your previous attempts at contact, but i wouldn't get too excited unless it's her that initiates contact and CONTINUES to do so.

[Nappyloxs]

Thanks.

 

I don't plan on contacting (I know I have said this a million times before). But seriously, I asked her to call me this weekend. We'll see what happens and go from there.

 

I did the deep sentimental stuff. Talked a little about the past, talked a little about her mistakes. I was trying to avoid it, but she was blaming me. I didn't get defensive. I just was like look, you made mistakes too. We all make mistakes. I will admit the mistakes I made, but I am not going to lie down either. I talk about her mistakes in a way that isn't blaming or you need to change too. Talking about the past is what made her cry for moment. So definitely trying to avoid that one.

 

Love the video. It needs to be a sticky.

 

Definitely was thinking about the "rub" today.

[crabman]

What the hell? Why after these emails and not all the "I love you, blah, blah, blah," emails.

 

because she doesn´t wanna talk about that, she doesn´t wanna hear that sort of things!

 

 

Talking about the past is what made her cry for moment. So definitely trying to avoid that one.

 

yes! stop talking bout your last relationship, it´s gone.. it´s about finding a NEW way to get back together. think about the past and the mistakes you both made, especially YOU made, but never talk about it until you both are really ready for it and willing to get back together. that´s not the case yet because she doesn´t want to. you know, she thinks bad about your old relationship, that´s why she broke up. breaking up is a huge step! every time you talk about the past you remind here about a bad thing and support her in her decision to end your relationship. you don´t wanna do this.

 

and about mistakes. yes, most probable both of you made mistakes. but it´s YOURS that made her decide to break up. so, don´t show her the mistakes she made, that doesn´t work. learn from yours, SHOW her you changed, but don´t TALK about it.. create a new possitiv atmosphere..

 

love is about feeling, not about thinking!

[coolchick64]

Sounds like she's not sure what she wants, but you're in the mix and she doesn't want to lose you. As far as the dating other women thing, one reason a person might say that is to see how you'll respond. My guess is that even if she never wanted to see you again, she wouldn't be happy thinking about you with someone else. Did you read the thread about exes going ballistic when you start dating? She's gonna spend 2 hours on the phone with you and then wish you well as you fall for somebody else??! Nah, that's not what she wants at all.

[Nappyloxs]

Sounds like she's not sure what she wants, but you're in the mix and she doesn't want to lose you. As far as the dating other women thing, one reason a person might say that is to see how you'll respond. My guess is that even if she never wanted to see you again, she wouldn't be happy thinking about you with someone else. Did you read the thread about exes going ballistic when you start dating? She's gonna spend 2 hours on the phone with you and then wish you well as you fall for somebody else??! Nah, that's not what she wants at all.

 

Thanks.

 

I asked her if she would care if I dated other women after she told me too. She said no, that she would be happy for me, she thinks I need to move on. So, I said something along the lines of having been dating without really admitting that I have. She did not investigate it as I don't think she believed me. I have been on a date and have it on women. She knows I have it on women. I am not telling her about the date. Not unless she asks.

 

I will have to read the thread. I know she probably would go crazy. She got so mad once. I got too drunk at a friend's house one day. It was like a Wednesday. Didn't mean to, just happened. I was smashed. So they took my keys away from me. So I ended up staying up until 5am to make sure I got home before she went to work. She flipped. Okay, understandable. But she also accused me of sleeping with my friend's wife!!!! She was so serious about!!! She never liked my friend's wife, because "she is like one of the guys." I never understood that part of it. She was seriously more made about than me coming home at 5am.

 

FYI, it was the one and only time I every came home at 5am. I knew she was going to be pissed.