Did I do the right thing, is it time to move on

[jimbobday]

Ok so before I start this was a very complicated situation.

 

It all started just under 4 years ago. We met and really hit it off although she was a lot more into me than I was to her. Things went OK for about 2 years, I wasn't looking for anything serious but she was. I used to ignore her a lot and really wasn't a good person to her (although I was always there when she needed me) so surprise, surprise she found herself another man which I could understand after the way I had treated her. So she then got pregnant to this other guy (or possibly myself, I may never know the answer to this one as we were still seeing each other off and on) and continued to keep seeing each other. By this time I still had not let her know my true feelings towards her (Which I had realized after I lost her). She then went on to get married to the guy (as she believed it was his kid).

 

After a while she came to me as someone to comfort her (because of the way this guy was treating her, I won't go into details here) So we then hit it off and I confessed that I was in love with her and she said she had been in love with me the whole time I just didn't pay her enough attention. So we started seeing each other a bit more seriously she moved out of her husbands place for a few weeks then decided to move back in again and start spending less time with me (As you could expect this hurt me and she knew it) so we broke it off after about a month. A few months later she came back to me in tears saying she had missed me and loved me so much and couldn't live without me. So we decided to give it another shot. She was living with her husband still but after a while I convinced her to move out and she promised me she would never go back (Which she hasn't done). She still did see him a bit for the babies sake but I learnt to accept this So things were going great for a while until she decided to start spending a lot of time with the husband (Including him staying at her place till 10 at night which meant I couldn't go over). Things slowly started going downhill and she said she was going to spend a week away overseas with the husband and baby (I trust her completely but that didn't seem right). So a few arguments arose but I knew we were going to auzzie in a few weeks so tried to keep everything civil and so things seemed to go back to normal for those two weeks. We went over to auzzie and things seemed to be going great (We were staying with my best friend who is a girl) until she flew back from auzzie and said we needed to talk. She had herself convinced that something was going on between me and my best friend (Who just got engaged to a great guy). So I let this slide for a couple of weeks but each time we met she got increasingly more standoffish so I threatened to break up with her (probably not the best move) she then poured out her love for me and told me she would wait forever for me. She then decided she just wanted to be friends (I still wanted to be with her) so this went on for a few weeks we would still kiss and cuddle whenever we met and still told each other we loved each other. I decided to tell her I wanted us to get back together, she said she was to busy and it just wouldn't work. I then went on to say I can't handle just being friends and gave her a choice of we either get back together or cut all contact. She went with cut all contact because she said she didn't want to hurt me anymore (This was yesterday). I then get a message last night saying she doesn't know how shes going to live without me and that its all to painful but still just wants to be friends.

 

We have been through so much together and we really did make each other better people and truly happy.

 

Sorry if its a bit long. Did I do the right thing breaking up with her after auzzie? and did I do the right thing in saying I can't be friends with her and giving her a choice? I really don't know what to do now. I feel bad for not being able to be friends with her and i'm still madly in love with her, its all left me in a real mess

[matson1990]

U did the right thing...its going to be hard but just move on and when she is supposedly not busy nemore she will contact u. good luck with ur situation.

[jimbobday]

Thanks for the post matson1990 and the feedback.

 

Just a bit of an update she's now decided she is going to find a new house, uni and mobile number but did say if I ever need her shes always on Facebook. Apparently so she can't hurt me anymore. She said she just wants me to hate her because its to hard for her to believing that I love her. I keep trying with NC but just when I think its starting to work she TXT's me again.

 

So i'm guessing it may really be time for me to move on

[jimbobday]

Just an update here after the last message I sent her explaining I can't be friends and not to contact me unless she wants to get back together I haven't had a message from her in over a day. Its still hard but it makes it so much easier not hearing from her