Amazing First Date... so now what?

[Batya33]

Do you still think you're not interested in something long term?

 

I wouldn't meet him at his house if it's only the second date - if you can't decide what to do meet outside at a park and take a walk or at a mall and walk around.

[BriarRose]

So your date was the 9th. When did you finally hear from him (or did you contact him)?

[dolcedolore]

I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking for to be honest. I think I'm just going along with this for now. If it turns into nothing more than a few more dates, then fine, and if it turns into something more, then I'll just see what happens. I'm pretty sure he's only been in long term relationships from the sounds of it.

 

I actually did call him back myself, and I'm glad I did. I didn't think that I had anything to lose, and honestly, I think he was worried about the car thing (and still is...). Since then though, he's been the one doing almost all the initiating. We talked at the end of this weekend online, and made plans. He was sure to say that we would definitely talk in between then, but that we should plan something (which we still haven't, lol). Then he said he'd call this week and he called last night. I appreciate that he does follow through.

 

As for the house thing... we actually did go there to watch a movie on the first date (only when other plans fell through). I knew his roommates would be there and he didn't come close to doing anything inappropriate. We talked about doing other things for this weekend, but I think we're just going to hang out/meet up there. Honestly, I feel like you can get more comfortable with someone this way, and... it's college. My friends pretty much do the same thing, right or wrong. Actually, I've spoken to my college friends in relationships (pretty serious ones at that), and they told me that they didn't even go on dates in the beginning. That seems a bit much to me.

[Batya33]

OK, it's not about right or wrong just safety. When I was assaulted (my wrists pinned behind my head so I couldn't get free, and I was only released after I begged three times) it was by an Ivy league educated successful, seemingly polite guy in his 30s - who had certainly made a pass at me before I went to his apartment (second date, big mistake!) but been totally appropriate (and we were both sober when this happened). It only took once for that to happen to me (and he ended up harassing several people I know) for me to know to avoid being alone with a man that early on without a very direct discussion beforehand about expectations (and even then, not on the second date).

 

Anyway, it looks like it is working out nicely so far - have fun!

[dolcedolore]

I knew that someone would bring up the safety issue, and I know that it may not have been the best idea on my part. Sorry to hear about your story...

 

I did know that his two roommates and one of their girlfriends would be at the apartment though, so I thought my chances of being assaulted were pretty slim. This is why I have no problem meeting him there this time.

[Batya33]

I knew that someone would bring up the safety issue, and I know that it may not have been the best idea on my part. Sorry to hear about your story...

 

I did know that his two roommates and one of their girlfriends would be at the apartment though, so I thought my chances of being assaulted were pretty slim. This is why I have no problem meeting him there this time.

 

If you're not going to be alone there and you know these other people then that makes it safer, yes.