Trying To Break Up-He's saying he will kill himself

[tiger_lilies]

I have a friend that is trying to break up with her b/f of one year. Last night he went to her house unannounced and brought a knife with him. He's threatening to kill himself if she doesn't get back with her! As rediculous as this sounds, he apparently is quite serious and has scared my friend into believing that he will, in fact, hurt himself.

 

She says that he was hysterical last night and it took her a long time to calm him down. To make a long story short, she managed to convince him that she wants no contact for one month and that they'll talk in one months time. I personally don't believe that he'll stick to this new rule, because he has a history of just stopping by her house whenever he feels like it.

 

My friend is getting to the point where she is starting to worry about her own saftey. Any suggestions from the forum?

 

My friend has been trying to break up with him for a while now, but he refuses the accept the reality of this situation. She's even changed her phone number to avoid him calling her, but he just shows up at her house!

 

She has told him straight up that she does not want to him in her life anymore. He's a 30 year old turning 13. Can someone give me any advice on how she can deal with this? Calling the police is a last resort that she doesn't want to do.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Well, there are two possibilities. Ether the guy is truly a nut job and needs to be committed, or he's just looking for the attention which she's giving him.

 

That leaves you with couple of options. Ether call the cops, get his family to have him committed, or if you're relatively cretin that he isn't mad then don't bother with calming him down ignore his pleas for attention and make him leave regardless of what he says.

 

I myself prefer that second choice because I know I guy that spent 7 years in the learned state hospital. He didn't need to be there, but the torture of having to live with the nut jobs there gave him incentive to stop his behavior.

[debisfun]

Your friend can't be blackmailed into staying with this person. She needs to take immediate steps to protect herself NOW! If she feels threatened (and I would be if someone was in my house with a knife), she needs to contact both the police and his family.

 

She can't be the one to get him the help he desparatly needs. But she DOES need to inform other people of his actions, so that THEY can start being his caregiver.

 

NEVER take suicide lightly.

[tiger_lilies]

Nifty Swifty, you're right, this guy is a nut case! Debrisfun, yes, she is being blackmailed into this relationship. But she doesn't know how to make him stop. I've preached to her about the no contact rule, but she claims that he makes it very difficult since he just shows up at her house all the time!

 

I will pass on the suggestion of her contacting his family...I guess if it gets really bad she will have to call the cops on him to make him leave...I just hope that he doesn't do anything stupid, especially hurting her physically in any way.

[Ninja88]

Lock ALL doors and windowns at night. Keep a few lights on, and learn how to defend yourself, and notify the Police.

[Sk8r55]

all of this is really good advice, but i was thinking, what if his family are all nutjobs too?

[JT]

I was in a relationship and after my ex broke up with me, I decided life was'nt worth living. I had not threatened her about suicide, however I decided on my own to end things. It was very difficult, I almost died, yet she stayed there with me at the hospital. We had a year relationship afterwards, however as of two weeks ago we decided to end things. She holds it against me that she was there for me... she told me this because I wanted to get out of the relationship. I understand she is a good woman, I feel as if I've made a mistake, however I feel my actions are irreversible.

 

Another note about suicide. I've struggled with depression all of my life. For those who say its selfish to commit suicide, you have no idea what its like to be alive, yet dead inside. It commands respect to understand individuals like this.. if they decide to end things.. they truly feel this is the best scenario. And yes I've tried therapy for 15 years.. sometimes you must respect individuals who say "enough is enough."