Snoopy?

[libra smith]

My boyfriend asked me to check his e-mail for him because he hasnt been by a computer lately. I read a note written to him by a friend of his family that is close to him. she was talking to him about how i was not the girl for him because of religious beliefs her and his church has and how he should really consider our relationship carefully. I was hurt by this letter because I thought she liked me. mind you i had no business in his e-mail. And i guess i deserved To find something I didnt want to find. I did speak to him about her feelings about me but i told him that i had heard about them threw her daughter who is a mutual friend of ours and the one responsible for our meeting in the first place. He told me not to worry about her that she was an old mormon lady with strict values and is very opinionated and she always feels that no one is right for him or anyone she cares about for that matter. and all that matters is how he feels. But i think because of the insecure feelings that i feel for snooping i still feel doubting and unsure. The distance is already hard without feeling like you have people in his ear influencing his decision making. i am very secure in my relationship until i let my mind go 100 miles a minute. Which usually happens when i have to much time on my hands. the bigger issue is also the guilt i feel for snooping. Should i tell him or just simply not repeat the mistake. One of these days i may see something terrible after all curiosity killed the cat.

[russia]

checking his email is a sign of a real steady girlfriend.

 

most do it sneakily.

 

since you read it off his email, you should report it to him as such. no need to turn sneaky suddenly cos someone criticsed you cos they thought you didn't have access to his email.

 

does religion matter? actually, more than you'd have expected it. cos it's usually a family matter too. so is there an easy way out? sort of, if you just give in and become part of the family religion. otherwise, just see if his love for you is greater than for his God.

[libra smith]

Can you clarify? are you saying him asking me to check his e-mail is a sign of a steady girlfriend? Are you being sarcastic? As for religion? I would never become part of someones religion solely for there family. Religion is about beliefs and ways deeper principles than that! He and i have had some very long dicussions about his religion and I have learned his beliefs and actually dont have much of a problem with them. i prefer my christian belief system. He also has studied my beliefs and prefers his mormon system. We agree that we do not want either to change our choice of religion for the other person. We both do spend time, when we are together at each others churches functions. I guess you could say we are both very liberal about our belief systems. Basically, the issues here were the insecurities I felt in reading the letters in the e-mails. And the fact that i was worried about the influences that others could have on him. probably being silly. As I stated before to much time on my hands today.

[russia]

not being sarcastic. i mean it. there has to be a level of security in him to let you check his email.

 

so if he lets you, it means he's willing for you to see everything in it. so don't get too worried about reading his email. he wants you to!

 

and everyone gets influenced, according to how much he or she believes in something in the first place. if he's shakey about you, then more influences against you along that line will sway him. if he isn't, then that's just noise to him. so i won't worry about it. cos he loves you (see paragraph 2)

[libra smith]

I see,thanxs for the 411. I guess sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. Long distance Relationships make you Question things that arent even there sometimes. I could say though Guilt is a harsh feeling. I felt horrible for reading the letters. He probably thought nothing of them or would not of sent me to them. Duh Well as i said before brain overload to much time thinking and doubting. Hope others can learn from my expierience. Thanx again

[lil_unique_me]

i think that you should trust your man. he did ask you to check his mail and also is saying stuff about this woman so i really do think that you should believe him.

she is after all just a friend and i dont think that your man is taking her too seriously cos afterall your still togehter arnt you.

Catie xxx

[libra smith]

Today is my boyfriends email buddys birthday, He forgot her birthday but through a mutual friend I remembered. i called him at his duty station and informed him of this error. He called her at home and wished her a happy birthday and she was so happy that HE had remembered his birthday. I also sent her a card in his name for him bacause he was so busy and he asked me to. I told him he owed me big time for saving his behind. He did tell me that he would repay me gracefully. Found out later he did. Through messenger later that evening, She was talking to her daughter, his best friend, about this conversation that they had had on the telephone and she talked of how he had informed her of how wonderful our relationship was going and how happy he was and how it was so much better than he had even expected it could have been. This is the lady who I read the email from prior that was telling him we were not good for each other and that he should re think his relationship with me. That made me feel so great. i worried about what she thought and what he would think of what she said for nothing but to be a paranoid women. Oh and I also told him about the email snoop issue and he said he has nothing to hide from the person he plans to spend the rest of his life with. I told him I was very sorry. He got a good laugh out of it. Thanks for all the advice :