Kember Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Okay well I have known this guy for over 15 years. We grew up next door to eachother and have been best friends forever. As children, we would play games where he would be a guy and i would be his girlfriend (weird i know lol). We are now both 17, and still friends.. but not as close. He claims he is straight, and he still doesnt know im gay (officially). He is very masculine, and has had many girlfriends in the past, but none recently. About 2 years ago i gave him a blowjob, and we did this 3 times (on different days). The last time we did it, he tried to have sex with me, but i refused. Ever since then we have never mentioned it, and it is still ''assumed'' that we are both straight...? (dumb, i know). Well im discovering that i have feelings for him, but i have no clue what to do. About a month ago he got this on and off again girlfriend, and at a party last weekend they were making out. A few people think he is gay, and some have even told me that they think he likes me. He doesnt act gay at all, but he makes gay sexual jokes alot like ''ill * * * * you in the ass!'' But i think that even if he was gay, he wouldnt admit it to himself or anyone else, because he has to much pride. (like he seriously would never tell ANYONE) I really need advice on this... Do you think he is gay, straight, bi, etc?? Should I tell him im gay and see what happens?? Should I confront him about his sexuality?? Link to comment
1WayTicket2Norway Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 straight guys don't let guys give them blowjobs. He's probably bi... Link to comment
Kember Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 yea some people say that... but idk sometimes i think he was just horny and wanted whatever he could get... Link to comment
ramcoro Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 The guy likes guys. He might be gay, but probably is bi. So, you should probably just ask him. Link to comment
Flux Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Don't straight out ask, it'll be a massive fail. If he closes up about it, he could react badly and be a massive jerk about it, thus ruining your friendship. Try to find a way to get any information out of him, without him knowing that was what you intended for him to do. I would recommend liquer, but that depends on which country you live in and the legal age for drinking, but it has a marvelous way of getting people too open up... But, keep digging for information, try to get into conversation with him and renew your friendship a little, it's not the fastest route, but it may get you an answer in the end. Link to comment
Lucius Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 yea some people say that... but idk sometimes i think he was just horny and wanted whatever he could get... Believe me, as a straight and often horny guy myself, there's no way I'd be engaging in oral sex with another man - no matter how horny I was. A lack of immediate alternatives does not drive a straight guy to have sex with another man. straight guys don't let guys give them blowjobs. He's probably bi... Yup. Link to comment
1WayTicket2Norway Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Maybe you should just tell him that you are gay, without being too suggestive, and see how he reacts. Link to comment
True2Form Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 Another possibility might be that he is bi, but not bi enough to pursue anything meaningful with another man. Or he could just be really confused and trying to play things off. I wouldn't "confront" him about his sexuality. I would just try to be supportive and listen to him. This is hard because you have feelings for him. Also, if you are alone with him and he jokes about doing gay things, ask him if that is what he wants. Try to ask in an open, supportive way without pressure. This guy has already received blowjobs from you and tried to have sex with you. Did it feel like he was using you like a rag? That might be part of the reason why it did not feel right or why you did not want to do it with him. Aside from oral sex, have you two ever kissed? (If anything happens again, I would be concerned if he tried to have sexual relations with you without the intimacy of kissing or any other affectionate behavior.) Link to comment
Kember Posted November 1, 2009 Author Share Posted November 1, 2009 Yea thats another reason why im confused... Out of all 4 times we hooked up, we never kissed. It wasnt romantic, just sexual.. i guess you could say he used me like a rag.. So does that mean that he just sees guys in a sexual way and not romantically?? I hear that alot of bi men think that way.. Link to comment
ceez Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 that sounds like it, I think he's bi. maybe you could come out to him and he might open up about it. Link to comment
True2Form Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Indeed. Whatever he is, he may objectify sex with guys, like scratching an itch. He walks away without seriously processing what happened and without having to incorporate sex with men into his identity. If he sees himself as bi, then, yeah, he may just see men as a sexual outlet and see women as real relationship possibilities. (Hopefully, not all bi guys are like that.) Like ceez is saying, you could probably come out to him. If your other friends already know, then I don't see why not. If your friends don't know, then he would be outing himself by outing you since you two have had sexual relations already. You have some level of safety there. Just be careful. I just wanted to add that, even if he treats you like a rag, you are not a rag. You deserve more than that. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.