a confused virgin needing advice

[the lonely heart]

Hi. I am confused and wanted some desperate advice... Thank you all in advance! Ok the situation...I've been dating this guy for the past couple months and we have just started getting more intimate in that i gave him a handjob and he has fingered me on 3 occasions. I've enjoyed the fingering despite the soreness which seemed to come afterwards. But yeah, last night we got further than ever before and this is where I'm confused... We decided that he would enter me but not completely... Just so I could get a feel for it... I don't know. Is that normal for a first time encounter? So yeah... He entered and i felt pained and i guess it was the stretching you all talk about... But according to him (and he has far more experience than me... 3 frmr sex partners) he didn't go all the way... So I have to ask myself... why would I bleed? I got back to my apt and see that my underwear is stained with blood and it is slightly painful to urinate (sorry for being graphic)... So I have to ask ~ did i do something wrong? is there a way to make it easier on me when we do have sex for the first time and go all the way? Thank you!!

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

You did nothing wrong, this is pretty normal. Your body will adjust. You may want to try and pick up some lube, a product called K-Y Jelly is very good. Ask him to take it real slow, and nature will do the rest. If the discharge continues in the future, see your doctor.

 

Good luck

 

Kuhl

[the lonely heart]

when does the official risk of pregnancy start? fingering? him entering half way? all the way? cumming?

[Stefi]

Well, there's always a risk of pregnancy with most every kind of sexual activity (there are exceptions of course). You didn't mention if you're on the pill or if you used a condom when your boyfriend entered you. I would strongly suggest that you use protection, not only to minimize the risk of pregnancy, but to prevent getting any STD's.

 

There's minimal risk of pregnancy with fingering (unless your boyfriend uses his hand to touch his penis and then touches your vagina again). The risk of pregnancy is CONSIDERABLY higher if he enters you without protection, even if it's only halfway. Most likely, there will be precum on his penis which can have a decent sperm count, enough to possibly cause pregnancy.

 

So, if you're planning on "going all the way" with your boyfriend, you should get on the pill and ask your boyfriend to use a condom, if you haven't done so yet. If you take these steps before going further with your boyfriend, you'll probably end up enjoying it more since you won't need to worry as much about pregnancy or STD's.

 

Take care!

Stefi

[QTpie87]

you can not get pregnant by only being fingered. i repeat YOU CAN NOT GET PREGNANT BY GETTING FINGERED. unless like stefi just said he touches his penis first and then enters. but you CAN get pregnant if his penis has any contact with your vaginal area. even if it doesn't go in. you have more of a chance of getting pregnant if he goes in, but still if he doesn't theres still that chance. some people think that sperm becomes dead when it hits are right away but that isn't true. it will die sooner but you can still get pregnant. just make sure you use a condome. that will lessen the chance of getting pregnant or any sexually transmitted sicknesses. hope i helped you. if you have any more questions you can pm me.

bye love Qtpie87

[Fisch]

Hey lonely,

This is normal as the others have said, some girls even develop a skin barrier that is broken upon losing virginity. But you should take it really slow and make sure of a few things before you go all the way. The most effective ways to reduce pain in this situation are 1. heat 2. Moisture and 3. Arousal The sensitive skin that our private parts are made of react acutely to heat and cold heat with improved nerve activity and if your body knows it is safe from not freezing or burning to death it will be able to focus on arousal lol. Some people even apply heat pads! 2. moisture (natural or artificial lubricant) will help to reduce friction obviously also skin expands when its wet (wrinkles in da bathtub) and 3. arousal will send signals to your body to stimulate that natural lubricant and improve blood flow to the vaginal area which will help out. Important though: DO NOT USE ANY LUBRICANTS WITH SUGAR this greatly increases risk for yeast infection.

-Fisch

[the lonely heart]

does this mean i should consider taking a pregnancy test sometime? Any thoughts on that would be gratefully received. thanks... and yeah girls and guyz... for the record, the guy got what he wanted i guess and walked away ... he broke up with me... yep...

[15yrsandnervous]

oh sorry to hear that

[Stefi]

I'm very sorry to hear he broke up with you.

There can be no harm in taking a pregnancy test if it'll ease your worries. They're not expensive and most of the time you can just pick them off the shelf yourself. They're quick and easy to use and you'll know your results right away! You probably don't have anything to worry about, but like I said- there's no harm in taking one.

 

Take care!

Stefi

[the lonely heart]

when abouts should i take the test? thanx!

[liltasha]

Hey, sorry to hear that the boy broke up with you.

 

Yes, take a pregnancy test - I'm not sure when is best to take one (although I think some can be reliable just a few days after - not sure about that though). I'd suggest getting one NOW - and it'll come with instructions.

 

I'm guessing that he didn't use a condom? You definitely need to get a test.

[sebaot]

Well, if no condom was used, test yourself for STDs. Pick up two pregnancy-test-kits at the drugstore or Walmart and do them with some days between. There are also times of the month when a woman is less likely to get pregnant, and so forth, but I've just skimmed over that and don't know all too well.