MissBee09 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 How many of you had a gut feeling about being cheated on and found out that your feeling was true? Link to comment
Ihavetissues Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I always have a gut feelings bout being cheated on but its only ever happened once to me and I knew he was a wronger. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I was pretty sure I knew but I didn't want to know. My gut was telling me something was very wrong and as it turned out it was right. I even told her as much but being a selfish lair she assured me I was all wrong. We were together a long time so there was a connection between us that made it hard to deny the feelings of doom. Trust your gut but do not accuse. Seek out the truth on your own and hopefully it is nothing. Best wishes Lost Link to comment
D_Lish Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Everytime I'd thought cheating was going on.....it was. Wasnt just a 'gut feeling'.....there were also signs. Link to comment
Ihavetissues Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Wasnt just a 'gut feeling'.....there were also signs. What was the signs? Link to comment
lunatic Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 **Raises hand!** Everytime I had that gut feeling my girlfriend was cheating on me I was right! As someone else said do some snooping find your evidence then talk to your partner. Link to comment
Oink.Oink Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I have been with the same man for 4 years he has never cheated on me but there are signs that ur being cheated on pm me if u need further help Link to comment
TechResQ Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 link removed yep, gut feelings usually won't let you down. Been there/Done that! Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I have, and when I mentioned it to him that time he would tell me that I'm being silly and that he would never cheat on me because he loved me. Lies lies lies. Link to comment
mrmaximum Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I was pretty sure I knew but I didn't want to know. My gut was telling me something was very wrong and as it turned out it was right. I even told her as much but being a selfish lair she assured me I was all wrong. We were together a long time so there was a connection between us that made it hard to deny the feelings of doom. Trust your gut but do not accuse. Seek out the truth on your own and hopefully it is nothing. Best wishes Lost Yeppers, this was me too. Saw the signs and ignored them for quite a while, simply didn't think she would screw up again after I forgave her the first time. I dismissed the obvious signs up until her daughter unknowingly spilled the beans. Link to comment
Theblueman123 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Normally you can tell between general insecurity and a true gut feeling. I know to always follow up and trust my instincts now, because when I didn't I was letting myself get played as a fool. I don't take people's word anymore, but I always watch their actions, and follow up (secretly) on what they did. It seems to have worked really well so far for me. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 so how do you tell the difference between general insecurity and what is considered your gut feeling? Link to comment
Theblueman123 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 so how do you tell the difference between general insecurity and what is considered your gut feeling? A gut feeling will usually be about something or someone in particular. You don't know why, but when your SO spends time with them, you feel as if something isn't right. If you open your eyes, you may also be able to see signs that they're taking more of an interest to your SO (popping up a lot in conversations, her wanting to see him often, they won't stop talking), but then again there may be no signs at all, but you will have that feeling. A general insecurity feeling is the way you get whenever your SO does something in particular (hang out with guy friends, go to parties w/o you, meet with an ex that they haven't seen in over a year). It's normally something vague and you find that you're doubting yourself and how you measure up instead of questioning their motives. But truly the only way you can tell is to experience it, you'll know something is wrong because you're subconsciously connected to your SO. And what hurts is sometimes when you "trust" them and have these gut feelings all the time, usually the trust is losing and the gut feelings are right. Follow God first, your soul second, and them last. There's a healthy line between trust and being aware, but it's up to you to figure out where that is for you. Link to comment
arcadefire Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 My gut feeling was dead right. But I was foolish enough to try to suppress it as insecurity or jealousy. From my experience, trust it. We're born with it. Take measures to protect your health and yourself. Link to comment
loulee Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 A gut feeling never has a relief period it stays with you 24/7 wheras heightened insecurity can be relieved through close moments or reassurance, whatever the situation is at the time...there are always clear signs apart from gut feelings that are present with cheating unless he is by far more clever than Einstein....look for them...asking is one option and gauge his reaction, ..lateness ..little or no explanation for time spent apart..vague details..suddenly more into looking and smelling good, asking for nights out with the boys to explain absences which may be unusual...over texting or over calling you daily to diminish suspicion and alleviate guilt...the list goes on....often self denial rules our inner doubts but the gut feeling will remain despite this... Link to comment
gsxr104 Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 Looks like the " I's " have it GO with your gut instincts. I you don't feel something is right, chances are they're not. Link to comment
mrmaximum Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 a gut feeling never has a relief period it stays with you 24/7 wheras heightened insecurity can be relieved through close moments or reassurance, whatever the situation is at the time...there are always clear signs apart from gut feelings that are present with cheating unless he is by far more clever than einstein....look for them...asking is one option and gauge his reaction, ..lateness ..little or no explanation for time spent apart..vague details..suddenly more into looking and smelling good, asking for nights out with the boys to explain absences which may be unusual...over texting or over calling you daily to diminish suspicion and alleviate guilt...the list goes on....often self denial rules our inner doubts but the gut feeling will remain despite this... this ^^^^^ Link to comment
sooky Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 gut feeling + snooping = proof = gut wrenching. i then ignored the proof and hoped it would go away...hoped that it was a one-off mistake which didn't need to affect the rest of my life. which it was...but it did. lknsz;ih;/lxd!! Link to comment
_Kadian_ Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 I woke up one morning with a shock and a violent feeling of nausea and fear. Turned out that yes...I was being cheated on. I ignored it for a while as paranoia since I had had so many bad relationships before this one that seemed perfect. Obviously it wasn't perfect. Link to comment
MT1981 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 learn to trust your gut feeling - thats my advice as for signs - things like making plans but then not following up. For example, my ex had a party to go to, but wanted to catch up with me after - so the lunch/party was from about 1pm till late - but she wanted to stay till about 6, then meet me at her house and said she will call me. 6 came, 7 came, 8 came, 9 came. Nothing. Called her at 10pm - she said she didnt want to hang out with me anymore, and that "sometimes plans change". she was drunk (at a football party). I was messed up all night, i was going to go with my bro to see if she was ok (but my bro talked me out of going, saying "if she was going to do it, how are you going to stop her?"). My brothers mother in law later told me that when i came to pick up my bro, she felt that something was not right, and was worried as to what my bro and I will find at the party. Ex didnt come home all night - i went to her house int he mornign to make sure that she got home ok. Rang her phone, nothing. SMS - no reply. Her dad didnt know where she was. Her sister didnt know where she was. No one knew - not even her best friend. I even smsed her other friend from work, asking if she knew where my ex was - no reply. She got back home around 1pm the next day. She said she was at one of her girlfriend's houses and apparenlty the fone battery was dead. So I sent that friend a message on facebook sayign thanks for looking out for my ex. No reply. All seems to fishy to me - no one knew where she was. The people that did, didnt reply to my msgs/email etc. looking back on it now - how did i put up with all that crap for so long, i dont know - and i sure as hell dont want to find out again Link to comment
systah Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 My gut feeling served me well last month. My situation: He and I were together for 8 months (7 if you don't count the four times we took breaks). The last time we got back together, it was going great initially despite going through a miscarriage (was pregnant from before we broke up before -- went through it after we broke up maybe because of stress). When we got together we went biking, went climbing, went to a cool fest in Oakland. I was feeling pretty good about us. Well He had planned a trip back home to rhode island prior to us getting back together. The Sunday before he left, we were going biking. I was coming downstairs when I caught him on the phone and heard him say "ok well I have to get back to work now".. I didn't say anything at first but then the shock wore off. I was floored. Who was he talking to and why is he telling them he's at work??? He told me it was his friend Sam (supposedly his buddy for years) and he didn't want sam to know his personal busines.s WHAT??? Is this the same guy who stayed with you and who I met all ready? RED FLAG. Did I ignore, well he explained to me that he is trying to distance himself from sam. I accepted that because Sam had been relying on him a lot for things. Still I ignored my gut. The week before RI, it was his birthday. He said he he was pretty busy but wanted to hang out for his birthday. We saw each other twice that week because of how busy he supposedly was. He went to RI, I barely heard from him. Didn't know he was also taking a break from me at the time. So the Sunday came and he shows at my house, crawls into my bed. WE don't separate for a week. He's at my house constantly. Things are going so well. So I decide its time to post images of us to facebook because I told people about this cool pic of us with this flaming heart behind us from when we went to crucible. Well, I did. He flipped. He questioned why I would do that and thought we decided we would keep our relationship a secret. I was thinking OMG, are you cheating on me? Are you hiding me? Are you lying and sneaking around wiht girls on facebook???? He denies everything. That was a gut feeling I couldn't ignore. At that point I went stealth. I acted like nothing was wrong and that we were ok. I always told him I could never look at his email or facebook accounts even though he's left it open. I've even told him to close them that it was too tempting. Not anymore. I waited and waited. He finely left the room with his accounts out. I have semi photo memory. I looked at his google chats and his facebook email. He'd been chatting it up with a girl, told her he wasn't doing anything for his birthday AND asked nother girl to go climbing with him the week before he went to RI... supposedly when he was too busy to hang out with me. AND, the topper, he asked some girl out to dinner in facebook while he was in RI. So, i hope this is a lesson to those who have that gut feeling. Go with it. I don't care if they yell and tell you you're crazy or threaten to end the relationship if you don't trust them. You're mind, body, spirit are talking to you. Yes I miss him so much but I just cannot get beyond teh fact he cheated and lied so adamantly to me. .. Why do that? My assessment is he feels more confident about being with other women while he has one waiting for him at home. He can deal with rejection easier knowing he had a fallback girl. I so want vengeance on him. It takes everything for me to not implement some sort of vengeance on him. He's short little midget of a small * * * * ed man. I see him for who he is now, a Troll. I was in love with him so I did not see that till now. I cannot wait till I feel indifference. I'm still in anger mode. Especially knowing how he's telling his friends that I'm crazy and have trust issues. That's the worst. Link to comment
mikem Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 This is a great quote: "...gut feeling never has a relief period it stays with you 24/7" So true! When you are in denial, you try to suppress it, but it's still there. Link to comment
mikem Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Was on target both times it happened to me with a couple x-girlfriends. Something seemed 'off' and I found out afterwards that they were starting to see other people. One of the things that was common about both times it happened, is they started to seem distant on the phone and wanted to get off the phone for some reason. We weren't 'connecting'. My instincts were correct. Even though the infidelity of the x=girlfriends was painful, I give them credit for admitting it. It helped me to be able move on. Had another girlfriend, whom I suspected was up to something. It was an LDR and she would disappear on the weekends. She said there was nobody else, but I had a gut feeling something wasn't right. When I asked why she wouldn't call on the weekends, she never gave a reasonable answer and was unwilling to negociate with calling more. I ended up ending it. Not exactly sure what was going on with her on the weekend, but those type of things have a way of 'coming to light' at some point. It made me appreciate the previous x's for at least admitting what they were doing... It surprising how on target our gut instincts can be, especially in the area of infidelity. You try to 'push aside' those instincts, but it's like your gut just won't let it go. Those 'alarm bells' just keep going off, even when you are trying to ignore it... I think when you are with the right SO, it comes with an underlying peace, even when you go through some bumpy stretches... Link to comment
Ihavetissues Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I do understand this gut feeling etc, but with my bf I do have this feeling in my belly but he doesnt do anything to back it up, he is always home with me, doesnt go out, never late home from work, I never see things on his phone or computer yes I do check it from time to time, cos of my feeling I have, Iam sure its just in my head, and thats what my bf says to me too. ???? Link to comment
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