Not eating

[BraveStar]

I know that people deal with break ups differently, some comfort eat but I've lost my appetite almost completely. It's been two months now and for the first week or so I hardly ate anything, now I'm eating but only one meal a day. It's honestly not a conscious decision and I know I have to eat I just find myself full after next to nothing and just generally don't feel the need to. It's not about losing weight, though I have lost about 20lbs since it happened but I've been exercising a lot so I put it down to that mostly. I don't want this to become a separate problem on it's own and was just wondering if it's normal or not? Should I make myself eat three meals a day?

[CoCo2009]

I still have the same problem, its like I don't even have an appetite...I guess your appetite will come back eventually.

[Anonymous3]

Same here...nice boost to my actual weight loss plan though. I make sure I take vitamins, but yeah...I eat a small lunch, and drink alot of water.

 

For the first few days afterwards I was in a full blown water fast...to the point where my tongue had that awful coating on it, all the toxins being expelled.

 

Maybe we're wired to subconsciously become more attractive after something like this? Far fetched, but it made me laugh.

[Mellie]

Is it true that your stomach shrinks? I'm not sure if it's an old wives tale, but I was the same after breaking up, could barely bring myself to put a thing in my mouth - it all tasted like cardboard. Gradually ate a bit more but even 4 months on, I don't eat like I did. At least I enjoy it now though, and I did need to lose a little weight

[surfNski]

I went through the same thing and lost like 14lbs. I eventaully started eating again but it was slow going. The ironic thing was during the first month aftre my ex left me we saw each other three times she continuously told me how skinny I was becoming and how bad I looked. Like I wanted to loose that weight. She has so much class..lol

 

Anyway, I started working out and joined a sports team which all helped me gain the weight back. Good luck..

[Cognitive_Canine]

I lost my appetite completely during my break up too. It came back eventually but it took a few months. The same thing happened my senior year when one of my family members fell deathly ill. I probably got down to 115 (which is extremely thin for me).

 

Only eat when you feel hungry. Unless you feel sick because of your reduced eating or you lose too much weight, I wouldn't fret about it.

 

It's better than gaining weight to deal with breakups (emotional eating).

[BraveStar]

I've not felt sick from not eating it just doesn't even register in my head most of the time. I guess some vitamins would be a good idea so I don't get scurvy or anything. It's good to know that it's not just me.

[Hobbes]

Yea the appetite thing is pretty normal I think. I didn't eat anything at all for 3 days after she left (6 weeks ago) and now since that day I have lost about 18 pounds but I've been working out, no junk food and hitting gym 6 days a week using a 5-6 small meals per day of good muscle growth/fat loss stuff. To be honest I'm still not eating well, if i think about everything and the trauma that's meal eating over or i have to use water to swallow it down, not a good thing. Lost 90% of my belly though and put on muscle! I should do this more often.. or not.. I quit drinking on that day too. I thought to myself.. I am destroyed by this, if I drink now it might just kill me. I don't think I will ever drink again actually, I kinda like this.

 

Good luck, will get better I am sure.

[Lillyk]

During the first three weeks I had to force myself to eat a little bit. I didn't have any appetite and I ended up losing 13 pounds in those three weeks! but after a while I got my appetite back

[mcgirl]

During a VERY bad 10 month long breakup w/my ex-fiance (dont ask) I completely lost my appetite. For the first month I barely ate a thing. A bowl of cereal was too much and filled me up for the day. Food made me nauseous. Over the course of that very stressful period I lost about 25-30 lbs and went down 4 jeans sizes (and I'm not a big girl to begin with). Once we stopped communicating....the full appetite came back...and sadly so did the 4 jeans sizes I once lost.

[Anonymous3]

If you can keep it in control, I say breakups are a very powerful weight loss tool.

 

It's like I've harnessed all of the will power I never could before. I am pretty sure I could eat like a pig if I wanted to, but no food tastes as good as being thinner feels. I think stomachs act like the neck of a shirt that has gotten stretched out, you put it in the dryer and it becomes snug again. Granted the first few days I was just not able to eat period, not by choice, now I can tell that I am in complete control.

 

I think of it this way (really only applies to those who aren't in fantastic shape!) when we do finally have a face to face down the line (my ex and I) she won't see some miserable, bloated me that has gained 50 pounds drowning my sorrows in food. If anything, she's going to be speachless because I look so damn good, and THAT will be worth it.

[BraveStar]

I'm not sure how much I am in control of it really. I know I have to eat, at least a bit anyway, but it's purely just so I don't keel over. It makes me feel better to know I'm losing weight but I can't help but think that it's just a way for me to punish myself. I guess some good has to come out of all of this though.

[nutbrownhare]

No - losing your appetite is a very common response to stress; after significant breakups I find that food tastes like sawdust for a few weeks and it's a real effort to get anything down. Keeping up your vitamin intake is a good idea, though, because at least you won't be giving yourself deficiency problems.

 

As anyone who's had anorexia will know, this is not at all the same as having an eating disorder - where you're actually really obsessed with food, you just don't let yourself eat it. Your appetite will come back, slowly but surely but because you're used to eating small amounts the feeling of being satisfied with small amounts will probably stay. That's been my experience anyway.

[mira17]

Yes break ups make you thin! I guess that is the only upside to them. During one break up I lost fifteen pounds.

Just broke up with my current boyfriend...the only thing I have had is starbucks. Nothing sounds appetizing.

 

When I start to really think about it I almost want to throw up...has anyone else had that happen??

[Anonymous3]

No - losing your appetite is a very common response to stress; after significant breakups I find that food tastes like sawdust for a few weeks and it's a real effort to get anything down. Keeping up your vitamin intake is a good idea, though, because at least you won't be giving yourself deficiency problems.

 

As anyone who's had anorexia will know, this is not at all the same as having an eating disorder - where you're actually really obsessed with food, you just don't let yourself eat it. Your appetite will come back, slowly but surely but because you're used to eating small amounts the feeling of being satisfied with small amounts will probably stay. That's been my experience anyway.

 

I take a multi vitamin every day, B12, omega 3, flax seed oil, and E/C supplements.

 

I've been taking them since before I even knew my ex, but I can definitely tell I'm taking them now. I stopped for a week after she dumped me, and felt AWFUL. B12 is the BEST. Find a good source of it (fresh fruit is my favorite) or a smoothie bar somewhere, and at least have that.

 

Smoothies are the best bet for staying healthy...even though I couldnt eat, that's what I eased back into life with. They can add all sorts of things, and I didn't feel like I was eating. Just keep it healthy!

[nutbrownhare]

When I start to really think about it I almost want to throw up...has anyone else had that happen??

Yep. It'll pass in time.

[allgood]

i was on up and go and protein shakes and nut bars for the first whole week....had to run every single night so i could get some sleep....i didint have an appetite but i told myself im not gonna let her take away my health as well....its normal man, i lost 3 kilos in the first 4 days of the break up...think of it this way, if you dont eat you lose muscle...thats why for me i forced myself to eat and by the second week i was able to eat better and within a month i could eat normally...

 

break ups are a good motivation for training, for me sometimes she even stopped me from going gym cause she wanted to spend time with me....now my whole week consists of working out - weights, jogging and sprinting -

but i guess for me, myappetite is back , so my diet needs to be in control.

 

its normal man, but u gotta look after yourself

[BraveStar]

I figure I must be eating enough to keep myself going cause I don't feel as though I need to eat more. I been jogging everyday since it happened (2 months now) and I don't think I am damaging myself, that's certainly not my intention anyway.

[Anonymous3]

Hahaha....this thread made me hungry, so I'm carbo loading with a box of Kraft Dinner and some Ketchup

 

Canada style...and I was born and raised in the south, don't know where it came from...but it's goooood!

[allgood]

I figure I must be eating enough to keep myself going cause I don't feel as though I need to eat more. I been jogging everyday since it happened (2 months now) and I don't think I am damaging myself, that's certainly not my intention anyway.

 

just be careful not toget sick...i was exercising too since the breakup especially jogging non stop for 2 months as well but my body gave up so had to rest (which wasnt good cause the mind was idle)...make sure u buy some glutamine so u dont get sick, it boost up your immune system, your immune system becomes week if you do strenuous exercise.

 

exercise is really good man, without it i would a total mess, iam now but i think not as badd cause of it lol.

 

all the best man, we all can make it through

[BraveStar]

Thanks allgood. I'll be sure to pick up some tomorrow. Definitely agree that exercise helps a lot, I dread to think what I'd be like if I'd just been sat around. Hope you recover soon. Thanks again.

[journeynow]

It does seem to be a common thing. I lost my appetite for a long time, which didn't help the emotional lows much. I had to make a conscious effort to remember to eat, and ate smoothies, yogurt, and soups, things that went down easily and didn't take much planning. Taking vitamins has helped, and I've gained much of my appetite back. Losing weight may seem like a plus, but I've had little desire (or budget) to shop for all new clothes.

[JonasWaingaro]

yeah I couldn't eat for a couple of weeks. Not cool. I dropped 30lbs+. Food simply had no taste and I had no desire to eat. It's better now, but I don't eat nearly as much now. Still only 2 meals at best.

 

Ironically I gained ~30lbs after we became a couple. It's like my body dumped those lbs! Got rid of 4years. A cleansing of the 'fattening' up process.

[barrakuda]

All my life I've been trying to gain weight. and finally I was happy around 145lb. after the break up I am back to 130lb

 

sooo not cool.

[Talus]

The pain you feel is real. It's not just emotional, it affects us physically. The reason you cannot eat/don't want to eat etc. is because all of this stress is affecting your stomach. No doubt you feel full almost all the time, sick to the stomach even? It's something we cannot really control, it'll go away in time.

 

I also stopped eating for around the first 2 weeks. Lost a fair bit of muscle. Wasn't cool. But I suggest trying to force yourself to eat 6 SMALL meals a day. Especially if you're exercising. Start REALLY small until your body gets used to it. So even just a piece of fruit if that's all you can handle. Try to do this every couple of hours. It'll boost your metabolism back up and hopefully you'll start to feel the heavy stomach disappearing and you'll start getting hungry again.

 

I'm studying to be a personal trainer and I know a lot about nutrition so I could go on about this for ages, but right now your body is in starvation mode. This is what happens when you don't eat. Basically right now your body is eating itself. You will be losing a lot of muscle as your body breaks it down to try and find the energy to perform each day. Your body is actually storing as much fat as it can right now as it is the slowest burning energy source. So once all your muscle has deteriorated, it'll slowly start eating away at the fat. And if your body's not beginning to shut down now, this is when things become serious.

 

So please try to eat. It's doing you a lot of damage. As I said though, I've been through the same thing, though it only really lasted 2 weeks for me. I know it's hard, but you really just gotta step up and take control. Whilst everything around you may feel like it's crashing down, at least take control of yourself.