Broke no contact rule - now what?

[bebe282828]

Guys, I just did something incredibly stupid. My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me 2 months ago and I did things the right way. I left without saying much and have spent the recent time being okay with it. The worst thing about it was that she got a new job in the same company I am in and broke up with me after starting the new job. The potential to see her every day is there. Two days ago, I got the impression that she was seeing someone else and I went to go see her. Everything went downhill from there. I asked her if we could start seeing each other again and she said no. Alot of bad comments were exchanged and she ended up asking me to leave. After leaving, I completely regretted the whole thing and wrote her a note saying I regretted the incident and I don't want to have any contact with her. Am I an incredible loser now? Did I leave myself with no dignity. What can I do to make myself feel better?

[RandyB]

I wouldn't call that a "rule." It's more of a guideline. It may take a while to get over how foolish you may feel now, but you acted from your heart, and that's never the wrong thing to do. It's just a shame that unpleasant words were exchanged. It happens. You may have to let things cool off for a while, and if work brings you two together at some point, regardless of how she acts, be polite. Eventually, you may become at least friends again. Or not. Regardless, you're not a loser. If you start dating another woman, it will be easier to get over this, but don't do it in an effort to make your old gf jealous. I've heard that never works.

 

RandyB

[aha]

Hey bebe282828,

 

I did the same exact thing. Randy's right. you acted from your heart. Maybe she'll realize that or maybe she won't. Time and no contact will help YOU in the long run.

 

I'm starting to feel better about the things I said. I mean, at first I felt pretty bad about it and even appoligized to her.

 

 

Take care

[kuhl282000]

Dude

 

do not be to hard on yourself..you did what you thought was a good thing. you ask her out. you had no way of knowing what she was going to say. She might have said yes...but she said no. Sorry things go a little heated, those things happen. Let things cool down. No one really can read the future. Walk with you head high. Just be friendly at work and you will be surprized. People forget, they always do. So you have that on your side.

 

 

Be Cool

 

Kuhl

8)

[bebe282828]

Thanks Randy, aha and Kuhl,

 

This has been eating at me alot, but you're guy's thoughts make me feel better. I appreciate the time you took to respond.

 

bebe

[MC]

I suggest that you stick to no contact. I understand how tempting it can be to ask your ex to go out with you, but in my opinion it shouldn't be done. It doesn't work. She is the one who left and she is the one who has to beg you to get back with her. If she wanted to she would. Asking her to won't help; it will just make you feel like a fool and put you through the pain again.

 

Leave her alone. If you two will get back together she will have to do the chasing. Use no contact as a means of healing yourself. Your ex coming back is just a possible bonus. Put yourself first. If she is happy so can you. After all she is not of a higher value than you are. If she can do without you, so can you.

 

Good luck my friend.