Feeling weird after having a fling with my ex after 9months!

[lsubaby21]

Ok my ex and I broke up 9 months ago and we were together for 3 years and we loved each other very much. Well we had been keeping in touch over the months with quick friendly convos on the phone. Last night i saw him for the first time in a while and we ended up having sex. Today I am feeling very confused about the whole thing. I know I shouldn't have done it, but the truth is, I had been thinking about being intimate with him for awhile before last night. But now, I feel like I degraded myself and the last thing I want is to ruin the friendship we were building. Does anyone have any advice about my situation? What should I say to him next time we talk?

[spiderman_56]

humm ...what do u want out of it ? do u think it was a total mistake or did u enjoy it and u won't mind having sex with him again ? u said u thaught about it so u physically attracted to him ... and since i already went that road if u keep engaging in sexual activities there r very good chances someone will want more (emotional+physical = gettin back 2gether) ... well if u don't mind that then everthin is loolin good 4 u ... 8)

don't bring it up and eventually he will bring it up or try to have more 'bed action' if he is single and somewhere still want u ...if he doesnt bring it up or not try to have sex more or avoid u , that night was a mistake and end of the story ...

don't ask him , don't come hard ..just a little bit flirty , a drop of 'flirt' to make him think 'maybe this girl want me' and eventually u'll know his intentions very soon ... and if u think u just want a solid 'normal' friendship , don't bring it up and if he brings it up be straightforward ..

 

hope this helps

[Hopingpraying]

Lsubaby,

 

Like spider says, what do you want out of it? If you would like to rekindle the relationship then I would say you need to make sure whatever the reason for the breakup you two have fixed it. Whether that be communication, someone messed around on the other, whatever it may be. Otherwise you are going to be doomed to repeat the same thing over. Problems just don't go away. You may be on a honeymoon for the short term but the old ways and problems will resurface if you have not corrected them.

If you want to see if you two can continue your relationship good for you. Make sure you address the issues of the original breakup and go for it. If not, you could try the friend with benefits, but most people advise against that because one of you will end up getting hurt. So take it easy, and make sure you talk out with him what the two of you are looking for.

 

Good luck!

[lsubaby21]

Thanks for the advice so far. To answer the question do I want to get back with him... no I don't. There was a lot of problems in our relationship and I know in my heart that we are not supposed to be together. He was just my first love and I still miss him sometimes. I thought it was gonna be just sex, but some old feelings came back. Not too bad though. I also realized that we are not the same people we were and it was different. And I'm feeling a little gulity also because he is dating someone right now. I don't want our relationship to become a sexual one, I want us to be friends. But I can't help it if I'm still attracted to him.. I swear I'm all messed up!