Seeing Life as a Game or a Competition

[hexaemeron]

The way I approach Life is almost always centered around positioning myself most adventageously in every situation so that I can maximize my assets, choices and happiness. Problems and situations to overcome are merely tests of resolve and resourcefulness to me. Anyone else like this? Or, is this maybe not the most healthy way to view Life in your estimation?

 

 

[waveseer]

Does it make you happy? I am only happy when I feel the playing field is about equal.

[hexaemeron]

Does it make you happy? I am only happy when I feel the playing field is about equal.

 

Hm. Well, I've done a lot in my 30 years and accomplished professionally more than most of my peers, without benefit of a full college education. I take great pride in that, and knowing I did it entirely on my own does give me a lot of pleasure and contentment.

 

And, probably, a lot of self-entitlement, Haha.

 

I guess my question is, that if I'm in a relationship, is that kind of mindset going to be counterproductive?

[sidehop]

The way I approach Life is almost always centered around positioning myself most adventageously in every situation so that I can maximize my assets, choices and happiness. Problems and situations to overcome are merely tests of resolve and resourcefulness to me. Anyone else like this? Or, is this maybe not the most healthy way to view Life in your estimation?

 

 

 

More details? I think you sound like a very positive and go-with-the-flow type of a person?

[hexaemeron]

More details? I think you sound like a very positive and go-with-the-flow type of a person?

 

Well, that isn't to say that things don't make me angry, or upset.

 

For example, I was wrongly dismissed from a job several years ago. So in my mind, the goal became "Find another job" and I attack it with 150% gusto, thinking my normal way out of the box.

 

Applying for technology jobs here in the Bay Area is daunting in the best of times. Hundreds or thousands of people can be vying for only one position. I think this can be very dispiriting to a lot of people, because all you can really do is write your cover letter, resume and send it to a general mailbox with the other however many people. Your resume may never even get seen.

 

So, rather than getting overwhelmed or paralyzed with fear of failure, I bent the situation to my advantage. There was a job at a company for which I was a perfect fit. I wanted to go above and beyond to get noticed. In the job market now, you don't deal with people. You deal with email addresses or if you're very lucky, voice mail.

 

I went to the company's website and found the name of ANY employee I could find. I then went to the company's main phone number, and plugged in that name into their phone tree and got in contact with this person. I explained that I apologize for the intrusion but I really want to apply for this job so I'm trying to get a hold of the hiring manager or HR recruiter directly. With 5 minutes of work, I then had in my possession the names, emails and direct phone lines of the hiring manager for the position, and the HR recruiter for that company. And I got the job.

 

Everything's a problem to be solved. Everything's a puzzle to be dissected and looked at until a solution is clear.

 

Does that make sense?

[sidehop]

That's inspiring and really admire your outside the box thinking. Especially considering California with the high unemployment rate and the industry you're in, congrats

 

I don't see how you would affect a relationship in any negative way really, unless your partner is just very negative in general and drive you down instead!

[jul-els]

Everything's a problem to be solved. Everything's a puzzle to be dissected and looked at until a solution is clear. Does that make sense?

 

In terms of a relationship, you need to find someone who feels the same way and it will make perfect sense. Realistically though, you will have to be willing compromise that mindset from time to time to make it work.

[hexaemeron]

In terms of a relationship, you need to find someone who feels the same way and it will make perfect sense. Realistically though, you will have to be willing compromise that mindset from time to time to make it work.

 

That's probably where I run into trouble. This kind of philosophy is very logic and pragmatism-based. Interpersonal emotional issues don't really jive with that kind of system.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

if you have ever watched survivor then you know their slogan...

 

outwit

outlast

outplay

 

that show is a microscopic view of the world in which we live.

 

at times you have to look out for #1 and only number one ..and at times you have to put your focus on someone else because if you burn that bridge it will burn you in the end.

 

I agree with looking at things like jobs and other situations with the gusto you described above as way of making things work for you..

 

but when it comes to matters of the heart- there are times when the "me" focus is not the best and we have to think about the other persons feelings.

[Perfection]

 

I went to the company's website and found the name of ANY employee I could find. I then went to the company's main phone number, and plugged in that name into their phone tree and got in contact with this person. I explained that I apologize for the intrusion but I really want to apply for this job so I'm trying to get a hold of the hiring manager or HR recruiter directly. With 5 minutes of work, I then had in my possession the names, emails and direct phone lines of the hiring manager for the position, and the HR recruiter for that company. And I got the job.

 

Everything's a problem to be solved. Everything's a puzzle to be dissected and looked at until a solution is clear.

 

dude you are me!!! or i am you!! i did the EXACT same thing when i was looking for a job. that extra effort.

 

i have no idea how this behaviour would reflect in relationships, considering i have never had a half decent one, but i have mad respect for you.

[ghost69]

i'm all business when necessary. any other time, i have fun and do what i want. no competition, no games, no drama. i live pretty easy and i love it.

[Tarkan]

There are people who start this game with a disadventage. People with a handicap, with lower intelligence, in an ethnic minority, children with divorced parents, ... There are many factors that can disadventage you.

 

I think it's the difference between Europe and US.

 

In Europe we tend to have a welfare society because we know the gametable and the players are not equal. The central question is: Is it fair to punish people with less chances ? Should winners have a moral duty toward those people ?

 

In the States it's more about being a winner or a loser. Either you make it or you don't. Winners are rewarded, "losers" will have a harsh life. There's no real backup like you have in Europe. The central question is: Is it fair to punish winners ? ( with higher taxes for example, wish is the case in my country for example )

 

Who is wrong, who is right ? I don't know. It depends of how you lived your life. Both systems aren't perfect and both of them know abuse.

 

 

As long as you don't forget about morality and others around you it's all fine to play the game =) Competition is good and is needed to make the world work. But where is the limit ?

 

i'm all business when necessary. any other time, i have fun and do what i want. no competition, no games, no drama. i live pretty easy and i love it.

 

In a past life, you were a hippie

[ghost69]

 

In a past life, you were a hippie

 

when are hippies about business?

[hexaemeron]

when are hippies about business?

 

When they're getting their ganj.

[carbon14]

I actually think it's a benefit in a relationship. My bf & I are like that & it works wonders sorting out problems. For example-let's say he drank the last of the milk & didn't buy more (weak example, but aren't fights usually over silly stuff?). Instead of it becoming me getting upset & thinking "he didn't replace the milk, now my coffee is too strong & I can't have cereal for breakfast-his lack of concern=he doesn't love me!" I just go out & buy more milk. Or have tea & toast instead. Problem solved & life simplified.

 

It's even greater when we face problems together, like recently we were shopping for something expensive. With both of us on the case, it became a daily competition to see who could come up with the best deal & in the end we got a wicked bargin b/c we were both so driven to outdo the other (there were hi-5's all around-seriously).

 

And imagine that driven nature when it's focused on the other person-like trying to cheer them up after a rough day, taking care of them when they're sick, making sure they know they're loved-just problems that need to be tackled with 150% determination.

 

I think if you find the right person, you'll see that being in a relationship with them is like being on the Team Awesome 24/7-nothing can stand in your ways! Now actually finding that person.... well, actually for someone as driven as you, shouldn't be too much of a problem (in theory)!

 

Edit: OK-in the 3 mins it took me to type this, I go to post & see the post above me saying "when are hippies about business?"-hahahah-wth did I miss?

[Day_Walker]

I think that the way you view life is logical but that doesnt mean that others will say that you are missing out on something because you view life as a competition or a game.