Did not get a reply

[me4ta]

So I met this guy last week on Friday, we hit it off, he didn't seem like he's immature, crazy nor a player. We've exchanged business cards and he wrote to me from his work email to my work email yesterday morning. Everything is great, telling me how much he enjoyed talking to me last week and said let's maybe do lunch or after work drinks, what did I think? I replied in a similar nice manner, that I was delighted, let's do after work drinks?

 

No answer, I replied around noon yesterday and now it's afternoon - next day.

 

I'm confused, but I don't want to think about what could have happened, but what would you do - would you wait or would you write another email, something like "Hello?"

 

Why is it never easy.... urgh!

[ghost69]

he might be busy. he asked you to drinks, doesn't mean today.

[annie24]

i'd give him up to a week to reply. if he doesn't, then i'd forget about him. he could be busy or simply could have misplaced his phone. i wouldn't worry about it, i bet he will call.

[me4ta]

@ghost69: I always thought that it doesn't matter how much stuff you guys have in your life, but you'll always find time for a girl you like....especially to write a short email?

 

I know he didn't mean that day, but my question was not about the possible scenarios of him not replying, but should I wait and how long and if I wait another day should I just forget it or write another email in case there's an evil email force in this world that did not deliver my first email.

 

@annie - good point, he actually emailed, not called. That's why I'm surprised, it doesn't take that much time to write a quick note. Men!

[bebeblondie]

Yea I agree with everyone else, I wouldn't be alarmed just yet...give him a couple of days to reply he probably hasn't checked his email yet, or is trying to decide what day to meet with you.

[annie24]

me4ta - you just met this guy, he had a life before you. plus, lots of guys try to 'play it cool' and give it a few days before contacting - they don't want to seem desperate! don't worry, just relax. besides, you don't know what is going on, he could be having an emergency at work.

[ghost69]

@ghost69: I always thought that it doesn't matter how much stuff you guys have in your life, but you'll always find time for a girl you like....especially to write a short email?

 

I know he didn't mean that day, but my question was not about the possible scenarios of him not replying, but should I wait and how long and if I wait another day should I just forget it or write another email in case there's an evil email force in this world that did not deliver my first email.

 

@annie - good point, he actually emailed, not called. That's why I'm surprised, it doesn't take that much time to write a quick note. Men!

 

*puts fist to own eye and pushes* come on, seriously? why do you need immediate responses from someone new? little insecure if you ask me. give the guy some time. if nothing, move on. shouldn't be that big of a deal. you barely know this guy if at all yet. people flake all the time.

[drewciouS281]

some work places have strict firewalls. For example with my work, if there are any kinds of profanity, the message does not get delivered or even some attachments. There could have been an issue with the network. who knows. Give it a couple more days and email him again saying "hey, not sure if you got my email from Monday. My work email can be a bit strict but just following up to see if you were still up for drinks?" If he doesnt reply to that than leave the ball in his court. There can be numerous reasons at work. He could be off, travel, sick, network down, firewall, etc. Dont start stressin so soon. He also could be taking his time with it because he may not want you to feel that a quick response is tooo eager for just meeting each other so recently.

[ghost69]

or you could call instead of email. you have his cellphone?

 

also, just a thought, maybe you thought you hit it off and he just wants a friend.

[me4ta]

OMG, every time I ask a question on here, people get upset. I'm not insecure, I'm Russian live in the US, I don't get the games, alright, that's why I'm asking questions here. I asked one American friend here and she said it's weird, so I went for the second opinion.

 

I did not sit and wait for him to call or email me right away after he got my number - when he did, asking me whether I wanted to meet, I replied yes, that was yesterday noon... I'm used to guys replying within several hours saying, cool let's do it on this day. This is an unusual situation, so I'm asking you for an advice.

[ghost69]

who's upset?

[me4ta]

That's what I though Drew, I did not use profanities nor attachments in my email, so I don't suppose it went to junk mail.

 

anyway, since you guys are saying it's normal, i'll see what happens.

 

Thank you for your advice.

[offplanet]

Definitely don't email or call him. He can definitely contact you if he's still interested. If he's not interested, then it would have been useless you contacting him, and you might feel a bit silly for having done so. If he is interested, he will contact you, and you'll feel better for not having acted too needy. Not being the first one to contact him again will be a win win situation for you, much better.

[annie24]

i think in the US, men will play it more cool than russian guys. don't be surprised if he takes several days to get back to you. this is just from my experiences with slavic men and my friends who are russian dating americans and russian men.

[bebeblondie]

OMG, every time I ask a question on here, people get upset. I'm not insecure, I'm Russian live in the US, I don't get the games, alright, that's why I'm asking questions here. I asked one American friend here and she said it's weird, so I went for the second opinion.

 

I did not sit and wait for him to call or email me right away after he got my number - when he did, asking me whether I wanted to meet, I replied yes, that was yesterday noon... I'm used to guys replying within several hours saying, cool let's do it on this day. This is an unusual situation, so I'm asking you for an advice.

 

I don't think anyone got upset and people were indeed giving you advice.

 

Yes, American men seem to have more game than the Russain ones or most other Europeans for that matter. I'm not sure why that is, maybe that's what makes them so appealing lol

[Sukotto]

The entire dating scene in the US confuses me, the woman seem to want to play games just as much as the guys. In Europe it's generally much more straight forward, if you're into someone then you generally reply promptly.

 

None of this waiting X days to reply, if you don't reply to me then I assume you're not into me and I've probably already moved on by the time you reply

[Skillpadde]

The entire dating scene in the US confuses me, the woman seem to want to play games just as much as the guys. In Europe it's generally much more straight forward, if you're into someone then you generally reply promptly.

 

None of this waiting X days to reply, if you don't reply to me then I assume you're not into me and I've probably already moved on by the time you reply

 

Totally agree, all these games just seems unhealthy and a waste of time.

[me4ta]

I don't play games and expect people, American people, to eventually drop the games. The guy I was referring to in my question is 43, so it's just surprising. Honestly, it's not about being insecure to expect a person to reply to you promptly or within a day, it's the matter of being polite and respectful. If you're talking to someone face to face and they don't reply to you, would you consider it rude? Of course!

 

Technology simplifies our life, but as I said it before, being busy never stood in the way of a man when he's interested in someone. You guys get anxious just as we women do, so you don't want to spoil it, you don't want to scare off, but at the same time you don't want to lose the momentum.

 

Of course there are unforeseen circumstances that I may not know, so I am not dismissing this guy right away, I am going to wait and see and if I feel like writing him another email - at least I'll know for sure if he doesn't or does reply.

[annie24]

well, like i said - i think that this is more the american style of dating, that you might not hear a reply within a microsecond. if you don't like it, you can tell the guy that he has taken too long to write back to you and that you are no longer interested in him.

 

for all you know, he could be having an emergency at work. my computer caught a virus last week and it took me a few days to clean it off so i didn't have easy internet access.

 

i don't know the nature of his work or what he does, but he could also be waiting to figure out his schedule and what days he is free to meet. i work in a laboratory, so some days are very empty, just reading and planning experiments and writing, and other days, i have a lot of lab work to do, am very busy and literally don't have a minute to write an email. and when i am working at a government lab, we are not allowed to use the computer for non-work purposes (that includes sending a 2 minute email to a friend.)

[ghost69]

i'll tell you my priorities right now. work, school, and the gym. a girl can come before the gym but not the other two. if i'm busy i'm busy, sorry, no ifs ands or buts around that. no matter how into a girl i am, those come first. and yes, if i'm into a girl i make time, after those priorities. if some girl can't handle that, no big deal, i'll find another.

 

 

 

 

i thought you were from the US bebe. no?

[bebeblondie]

i'll tell you my priorities right now. work, school, and the gym. a girl can come before the gym but not the other two. if i'm busy i'm busy, sorry, no ifs ands or buts around that. no matter how into a girl i am, those come first. and yes, if i'm into a girl i make time, after those priorities. if some girl can't handle that, no big deal, i'll find another.

 

 

 

 

i thought you were from the US bebe. no?

 

Yea i'm from the US (NYC) but I've been to Europe and I am of Russian descent, so I've been out with a couple of Russian men, definitely huge culture barrier. I personally prefer American men (but I think that's due me being American lol).

[Sukotto]

Totally agree, all these games just seems unhealthy and a waste of time.

 

I'm glad someone else from Scotland sees this the same way

[BriarRose]

It's a no-brainer. If he doesn't call, he's not interested. This was yesterday noon, so hopefully you will hear from him by tonight. If not, I probably would write him off as flakey or not that interested.

[Ammy]

Definitely don't email again.. that would kill it totally!

 

People get majorly busy at work.. so give him at least a day or so.

 

If you haven't heard from him in a week, then a short email to just check in would be okay IMO... Just say something like "hey there, how is your week going? Are you up for a drink this week?"... or alternately leave it altogether. I know I would wait a week and then send another message, but then again this tactic doesn't usually work for me, because I'm usually flogging a dead horse (trying to get someone to date me, who isn't that interested).

 

Ammy