princess5 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 So , I'm so used to my boyfriend instant messaging me at work when we're both online, he has done so every day since we met. But today for the first time.. nothing. When we were talking on teh phone last night he said that work was absolutely manic the last few days or so.... i feel a little bit sad though. Am i reading into things too much again, or could this be a suble sign he is losing interest ? Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 So , I'm so used to my boyfriend instant messaging me at work when we're both online, he has done so every day since we met. But today for the first time.. nothing. When we were talking on teh phone last night he said that work was absolutely manic the last few days or so.... i feel a little bit sad though. Am i reading into things too much again, or could this be a suble sign he is losing interest ? Yeah you are looking too much into things...he called you last night to tell you that work has been crazy...does the guy need to say more? Is there a reason as to why you would think otherwise? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 he said it's busy. no response. he's probably busy. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Whoa, its one time. I'd say you are overreacting. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 It's understandable to feel a little strange when a pattern is broken. It could mean anything, maybe he's busy or maybe not. Just watch to see how things go the rest of the week, and I wish you well. Link to comment
Inquirer89 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 I know how you feel! When we're used to our guys texting us or even calling us daily we get accustomed to it. When he doesn't get in contact with us for an extended amount of time I can understand freaking. I'm doing that myself with my SO. He's military so anything could happen! Unless he tells you otherwise or other things cause you concern other than this I wouldn't worry too much. If he never gets in contact with you again out of the blue, I'd write him off as a total jerk. That's probably one of the worst ways to get rid of somebody IMO! Just because he says he's busy and can't contact us like we want isn't a reason to think he's uninterested. Link to comment
Kumatora Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Whoa, its one time. I'd say you are overreacting. Yes, yes, and yes. Also he shouldn't be instant messaging while he's working- you don't want him to lose his job when he's really busy, right? Why not talk to him after? Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 hi Guys, well he finally got in touch late last night and didnt sound like his normal self, he said work was manic.... and he remembered when he came home that he didn't message me and he said he was really sorry, that it won't happen again!! Also his call didn't end with the usual 'i love you' so that kind of upset me too, so i text him back asking "you sure everything is ok"?. He said that he couldn't really talk before, that he was downstairs and there were peoeple there and he couldn't talk normally! He said that he was totally mad about me and loved me more than ever! Normal behaviour? Jeez.. relationships cause so much stress!! Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 hi Guys, well he finally got in touch late last night and didnt sound like his normal self, he said work was manic.... and he remembered when he came home that he didn't message me and he said he was really sorry, that it won't happen again!! Also his call didn't end with the usual 'i love you' so that kind of upset me too, so i text him back asking "you sure everything is ok"?. He said that he couldn't really talk before, that he was downstairs and there were peoeple there and he couldn't talk normally! He said that he was totally mad about me and loved me more than ever! Normal behaviour? Jeez.. relationships cause so much stress!! If he is pulling back, your very best bet is to get yourself busy. Do not, no matter how tempted you are, do the text to make sure thing. It will only increase the problem if there is one. If he is feeling smothered this will cause him to pull away even more. Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 well he couldn't be feeling smothered!! we are long distance and I only see him at weekends!! And also we just have the one phone call a day!! Link to comment
hers Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 One thing to remember is he's there to work, not chat online. Sometimes when others' patterns or routines get messed up, it could throw some of the other aspects of their lives out of whack. So if he's used to pretty lax working conditions and then it's suddenly busy, it could leave him feeling anxious or out of place or whatever, which could make the rest of his life feel out of whack too. Hence the different behaviour in his relationship. Just something to think about. Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 interesting viewpoint.... well he instant messaged me again today, seems to be back to normal.... guys are sooo hard to read!! Agreed?? Link to comment
hers Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 They're not hard to read if you communicate effectively and genuinely care for each other and aren't letting insecurities get in the way of anything. How long have you 2 been together? How old are you both? Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 im 25, hes 28.. and yes i'm very insecure! Link to comment
hers Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I can tell....you sort of seemed to freak out very easily....the man is working and you turned it into he doesn't care about you or is moving on or whatever. You can't feel taht way! Don't make what he's going through all about you. That'd doom the relationship for sure. Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 yes.... i do freak out easily... so afraid of bringing the relationship down Link to comment
hers Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 how long have you been together? why do you think you're so insecure? Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 5 months... so insecure because have intense fear of getting dumped again Link to comment
adamt Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Don't read into things too much at this stage. if it still like this in a few weeks then ask him about it. I thought i was in an honest trusting relationship so when my ex started being online less i didnt worry about it. But over time it became an issue. Things to watch out for are if you are always initiating the opening conversation online. are they always the one saying going off line first. Do the gaps between you messenging and them responding getting longer. Do they log on later and later. Are the replies short answers? Also you need to look at other parts of the relationshiup to see if there are warnings signs> has he changed in other ways? Link to comment
princess5 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 hi!! well he said to me a few days ago that work is absolutely crazy at the moment, so wasnt totally surprised about no email yesterday. but he emailed me again today and was being very loving as usual. We're 5 months into it now, and at first the emails were ridiculously romantic but I guess it wasn't goign to stay like that forever... especially when he is getting increasingly busy at work.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 if you freak out like this, eventually he's going to run. chill and see what he's like when you are together again in person. Link to comment
adamt Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Give him the benefit of doubt. At this stage do not read too much into anything. What you need to do is spend a bit of tim ein person with him a full day or two days. See how he acts and see his body language. don't be too clingy but see if he returns affection. keep an eye on his body language and how he acts with you. Link to comment
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