INeedHelpFast Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 It's been 2 months since I broke up with my ex-gf (we were each others' first loves). I'm getting on with life better than I am when we had broken up in the past (for example, I am not tempted to contact her), but I feel like crap each day when I wake up for some reason. More specifically, if I think about another future relationship I get scared because I feel like it would be too soon. But then again, I wonder why my ex was so hesitant on being friends, but hasn't said much about being friends after I broke up with her. She too is maintaining NC. I feel like I'm not moving in any direction. I know her email address pw but everytime I think of checking it, I get this sharp pain in my stomach in fear of seeing something I don't want to, so I don't check it and plus, I shouldn't be checking her email. When I asked to talk to her a month ago, she said there was nothing to talk about but was vague at the same time and said that it wasn't the right time with everything going on in her life. What do I do? I know if I contact her, she will just play with my head. But at the same time, I want to stop thinking about her, but I can't and I hate that. I compare every girl I meet to her and it sucks. Every other time we broke up, there would be emails, letters, cards that "closed" everything, but this time it's nothing at all. The only thing I asked of her was to stop talking to this other guy that made me uncomfortable, and she couldn't even give me an answer to that. She just stopped responding.. Lately, I've started dreaming about her too, and I wish that would stop Also, instead of realizing her fault, she seems to be playing the "victim" and says that she accepts the break up. Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Wait, who broke up with whom? Link to comment
Nature Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Same old stories....people break up their relationships and then feel, heartbroken, alone, hurt, insecure... So hard to snap out of old habits, or accept things as they are- I know that!, YET life is so short... My advice- read self-help books. Work on yourself. Forget others. Get to know yourself, find out why you ended up in a relationship which did not last. Find out who you are, what you want, and most importantly, what you feel for yourself. Does this make any sense? Don't waste your time thinking or dreaming about the past. Your gf was maybe great yes...but sweet, there is plenty more fish in the sea... Exctract something positive from the breakup! Link to comment
INeedHelpFast Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 Wait, who broke up with whom? I broke up with her. She gave me an ultimatum pretty much to either break up or meet her demands of keeping around a guy friend of hers who made me uncomfortable. Its obvious that she wanted to keep both, but it hurts to know that she sacrificed a good relationship and friendships with mutual friends for this one guy friend. Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I broke up with her. She gave me an ultimatum pretty much to either break up or meet her demands of keeping around a guy friend of hers who made me uncomfortable. Its obvious that she wanted to keep both, but it hurts to know that she sacrificed a good relationship and friendships with mutual friends for this one guy friend. I know EXACTLY how you feel. My ex and I couldn't agree on a few of the friends he had been making recently, one of them being an ex that he dated during a time that we were split up. He likes to keep his exes as friends which I am OK with... TO A POINT. This ex was crossing the line on several occasions and while my ex claimed that she was just a friend and he didn't feel that way about her (which I believe, but she OBVIOUSLY still had feelings for him), he didn't like that I was uncomfortable with it and instead of sticking up for me and what we'd shared off/on for nearly 7 years, he chose the friends. I'm very hurt by this. We've been broken up for almost 2.5 months and I still get mad when I think about it. But I've come to the conclusion that I was right to feel the way I did about her and a guy friend that he has. My instincts are rarely wrong and these people have shown their true colors to me since the break up. The thing is, I can't make him see this. For some reason I've become the enemy even though I have NEVER done anything to hurt him in all this time. But this isn't my lesson to learn, it's his. He has to learn that most friends don't stick around forever and they don't always have your best interests at heart. I have had many experiences with bad friends in the past and I see what his friends have done to me and I know that if they did it to me, they'll do it to him too. But he has to learn on his own... They have to learn on their own. Link to comment
KiNo Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 My case, exactly... LOL Take it as a lesson and move on dude, she/he is finding the best for her/himself... So let it be, love yourself and don't let your ex lead you on anymore, you deserves different one with better characteristic. I know its hard, but I just took 2 months after i tried to accept and forgive... then I gone NC and focus on myself, buying things i really wanted, changing my schedule to avoid meeting up, and finish my old dummy stuff that had been paused since I'm in relationship. Now, no more pain thinking of her. I do love her but I'm not missing her anymore. Focus on yourself guys!! Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 My case, exactly... LOL Care to share? Link to comment
KiNo Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Care to share? Here's mine. The guy juz made me so... urgh, but i'm over it now, you can track my threads to know my storyline till now... Everytime I asked about the guy, tell her straight that she shouldn't do such thing to me... but... well... She shuts up.. Link to comment
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