ive picked my date july 29th, my birthday

[Spirits Away]

I think Nenez's post r the best advice i've ever seen so far. Toggle... follow her advice, but keep in mind that there might come a time when you might not see the result yet and feel hopeless again. If you ever do, read the messages posted on here again. Make going to the library a habit. Usually there are big tables to sit where people are facing each other instead of the separate ones. I like to sit on those tables because those people sitting around you are like your guardians, helping you focus your task better. Also, Nenez's suggestions to the other places are also very good, don't slip pass it

 

 

I'll tell u a story about a friend of mine who happens to be the most unpopular person in the planet, yet, she's one of the most beautiful girl i've ever seen. She happens to have very low social life and doesn't do well in school. She complains about it a lot to people, and she sometimes make even myself depressed, because of that, I tend to avoid her from time to time. But her habits made her a very lonely person by the way she interacts with people. Everytime her life starts anew in a particular place (she recently went to college), Her mood rises, and a couple months later, due to the habits she always exhibit, she feels depressed again. Her schoolwork isn't doing well either... She complains

how she doesn't have the time for school but it's her decision to work at superstore. she doesn't need the money, but she likes the fact that she works, though it's sabotaging her school life and it eventually depresses her (again). And then she comes back to me and starts complaining and she makes me feel depressed again.

 

So two things i picked up on

 

- the way she interacts with me/other people, makes me feel bad & depresses me so i don't like to be with her

 

- she complains about her grades in school, but she didn't plan her life to be able to maximum her happiness (since she spends her time working instead of doing homework)

 

- also i didn't include one thing in the story, it's that her focus is always on herself and not other people's needs. When i talk to her, she talks and talks and talks... about HERSELF. She labeled me as bestfriend. At times i needed help, but her focus is on herself. So being around with her made ME feel unpopular... which is also another reason i don't like to hang around with her

 

Nobody can exceed how unpopular she is... but there are great things to learn "what not to do" from her

 

(by the way, she's hopeless, so nobody needs to give me advice on how to convince her)

[toggle]

hi again

 

for the past 2 or 3 days i have got really down again, the slightest thing makes me feel how crap my life is.

 

i dont think i can go on much longer, i dont think i can even make it to my 17th. sorry guys

 

the end is near

 

 

with love

 

 

toggle

[KatieCutie0]

hey toggle.

 

dont even talk like that. please. dont even. cos even though it seems really crappy right now, things will and are going to get better. they did for me and they will for you. dont give in to these feelings, cos they're nothing.

now these guys are gonna build a wall against you... made out of bricks... just like this playing card here.. they're gonna show you that they're wide bricks, they're gonna show you that they're long bricks, and they're gonna show you that they're flat bricks. these bricks are gonna seem soo strong and durable... but the only thing that matters is the thing they're not gonna show you. these bricks are paper thin, just like this playing card.... and soon they're gonna all come tumbling down. they'll lose.

dont give up... because these feelings are nothing. they only seem big and strong. but they are nothing, they'll come tumbling down, and you'll be a-okay.

[bwilliams]

Please do not do this to yourself. You are unique and special and loved! The sun always comes out tomorrow. I've been where you are, I know exactly what you're going through. But you later learn how precious life is and how short our lives really are. I don't know you personally, but this I am confident of: you are a person worthy of love. Don't take your own life, please.

[KatieCutie0]

hey again,

bwilliams is right. Life is short enough, dont make it shorter than it already is.

dont cut off the stem before you reach the flower.

i hope you feel better and go back on this decision you have made.

[Rage]

It seems like a classic case of depression.

 

A very simple thing you might want to try is, work out, or do some sport - you can do it by yourself, i.e. just working out, or going for a run, swimming... stuff like that.

because being active in that way, releases chemicals in your brain, which make you feel good. Give that a try...

 

This is most certainly true...i went through a phase like you too. Exercise makes me feel great once again, you can get away from everything! When I exercise the pain goes....the pain is my motivation...the pain gave me strength

 

Suicide IS selfish. I realized that. There are much better ways to go if you are not afraid of death.....I joined the Royal Marines, best thing i ever did, made the best friends i ever had.....turned my life around

 

DON'T do it

[nenez]

Dearest Toggle

Im sorry to hear you are down again. How did the interview go? You havent posted that.

Remember that the path is not a staright one, there are ups and downs. You might slip back for a day or two but these periods will get less.

Someone posted some excellent observations about a friend who is lonely and unpopular. If you direct your focus outwards you will focus less on your own troubles.

Make yourself a promise.

As well as all the other things I have asked you to do. try saying one nice thing to someone else every day. With a smile.

Im still thinking of you

With love

Nenez

[toggle]

hello guys, im back

 

sorry i aint been replying in a long time, ive had more thigns on my mind,

 

i dindt get the job, because i am to "young" and not much "experience"

"sigh"

 

there aint much hope left in my life, i think im gonna go soon, i want to thank you all for all your help, its weird that words cannot descirbe a persons feelings, and words can not make a remedy.

 

all i want in life, is someone close, that i can tlak to, spend time with and have fun.

why does someone get everythign, and anotyher person in life has nothing?

 

well bye everyone, id say i got about 2 weeks left.

 

well bye, dont know if ill reply again, but b4 i go i got something to pass onto you guys.

 

Bye

 

 

[thinkkid77]

toggle,

 

if you read this (which i hope you will) I want you to seriously reconsider what you put in your last post. 16 is way too young to die. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't throw that away. A life is a precious thing. Once it's gone, there's no second chance. The decision you're making is a final one. Don't waste what God gave you. Believe it or not, someday you WILL find someone you can run to in tears and just embrace them. They won't know what's wrong. They won't need to. They will be happy just to comfort you when you need it. I was just like you for a couple years. I was seriously ready to take my life. Now that I transferred schools, I'm so thankful that i didn't. There are so many different lives you can live. At a public school i was nobody. Nobody cared about me. They didn't even know i existed unless they literally ran into me in the hallway. Even then they wouldn't say "sorry" or "excuse me". Then when i came to the christian school i go to now, i decided i wasn't going to take it anymore. I wanted to turn my life around. I am now thought of (by the girls) as the sweetest guy in the school. If you take your life, you're letting the other people win. You can beat them. All it takes is some faith. Just a lil faith is all you need. Just enough to keep going one more day. Eventually, you'll meet the person you described to us. It may not be today, tomorrow, or the next day. But you WILL meet them. I promise you that. Everytime someone ridicules, mocks, makes fun of, or harasses you, just think to yourself "I'm better than them. They won't beat me. I won't let them." That's what they want. They want to wear you down till you begin to believe that you are what they say you are.

It's almost like a cult. A cult forms by one person that just keeps telling people something over and over until they begin to believe it. That's what is happening to you. You can't let them do that. You have to fight it.

Don't let them win. God has a plan for your life. Maybe it's to cure cancer. Who knows? If you kill yourself now, millions of people may die because you didn't live long enough to find out the cure for the disease that they have.

Don't give up. We're here for you. You may think that nobody cares but obviously complete strangers care enough to post here. If you want to talk, just post. I'll be praying for you.

 

Hang in there,

thinkkid

[abcd1234]

I have to agree,

 

Toggle, you need to pick your own life and live it the way that you want to. Dont let anything get you down.

 

Find something worth living for: whether that be a religion, a person, a goal that you have or just to show everyone that you can come through it.

 

In a few years time you may tell this story to someone on here, someone you know or a comlete stranger and they will think: 'Wow, look at that. He went through all of that and he is still stood here, strong as ever, telling me it. That takes real courage and determination but he did it!'

 

Take all of the advice you have received and use it to turn your life around, everyone here believes in you.

 

abcd1234

[JonnyG]

Your only 16 for crying out load. U hav so much to look forward to in life.

 

I to had an awful time at 16. And in fact my life was at its worst a month or so ago. When i was financially broke, and my ex left me having treated her like a princess. Im now struggling at uni and think i could well fail this year. Im am bored of uni. I am sick of being lonely. Im scared of what the future holds. I cried many times during this period, it helps, shouldnt b ashamed of it.

 

I got so low, i talked to family and friends about how i felt, and when they got bored of hearing me i talked to the "Samaritans" (UK based help centre).

 

Luckily i feel better about my ex now, altho i miss her so much, i hav comes to terms of partially excepting it, as there is nothing i can do about it, and i think she appears to still like us (theres no reason why she shouldnt) and hope to 1 day see her again. Financial im better as my nx student loan came thru.

 

But on the cons, im struggling to get motivated to do things. Im am feeling very lonely even tho i hav a girl interested in me i dont think she will b "me", plus she is going bac to greece in 2 months for good so nothing can come from it anyway, it might just hurt me more. I think im going to be really struggling to pass these up coming exams. And if i do fail them, im not looking forward to the summer at home. In fact im not looking forward to going home period as its boring.

 

So things r set to continue to get worse for me before they get better.

 

A month ago i was feeling if i had it in me to giv up, but i hav 3 things that stop me, and they should stop u:

 

1) Family and friends who lov u

2) Have the belief that if life is crap now it can only get better. I believe (or at least hope) that 1 day i'll b happy and married and hav kids.

3) Don't hav the balls (well, i didn't, im not sure about urself)

 

16, is way too young to giv up on life. At 16 many of us havent had a gf or bf. And its hard being anice guy and not getting what u deserve. I was the guy who posted the thread about "Another why do good guys finish last thread" in the "relationship" section. Ur not alone.

[Spirits Away]

Toggle, why do you want to die on your birthday anyways? I thought that was a little strange...

 

I know you probably don't want to reply anymore since u become a bit lazy and overwhelmed by all our replies, and maybe even considered that you'll burden us.

 

You know, sometimes getting depressed frequently is when something in your life changed and whatever that is, made your emotion shift quite a bit. Everything in life that comes after it will easily change your emotions. A little poke at the weak soul, will immediately make you depressed, especially when you relate it to the source of what caused you to be weak. But it is time that builds up from your wave of emotions to a more solid one so that your mood won't change every other day. Some people call this process healing

 

I'm personally suffering from this right now due to a girl who is not so careful who they're flirting with, and then acted dumb after I confronted her.. It's been a whole darn year and i haven't gotten over it yet. Not sure if this is your case, but u seemed to care about girls quite a bit from the last few messages u posted so i assume similar things happened to you. I do think girls are what brings us guys to life. But i don't suggest you to focus on it, nor depend on them to make you feel alive. Not that you do, but most my friends have this problem too, and most of us are going to graduate from post-secondary soon and still have this problem =(

so sad ! hehe

 

If you believe that you're behind compared to your friends, say to yourself that you'll get whatever you want in 2 years. Now how should i prepare it so that i can get whatever that I most wanted. I heard once from antony robbins that if you invest some time everyday to develop a skill so that you can have whatever that you most wanted, you will feel good at the end of everyday. (change his wordings a bit but the idea is there). If your focus is mainly on people, then i suggest you polish up your communication skills a bit. (another thing i'm struggling with and nenez is helping me out right now)

 

 

~ everyone here are so nice and friendly... I considered you all good friends

[toggle]

hi again,

 

people on here suggest things about religion?

 

well i dont have a religion, or a faith, but i do believe in fate.

so isnt it fate that i feel these ways and that i want to end my life?

 

also, u wanted to know y i want to end my life now, at 16, and on my 17th birthday?

 

well, the reason is, is that at my age of 17 i am going to have a lot of things expected of me, aswell with the problems i have now, and these things i dont think i can go through alone.

And i was born on that day, so why not die on it?

[thinkkid77]

well if you believe in fate, then it could be fate for you to feel like this. But it is also fate for you to get through it. maybe you'll do something very important later on in life but if you die now, you won't be able to.

[dictatario]

Hiya

 

I'm Alex, a 23 year old female from the UK. I know exactly how you are feeling; I have felt that about my life for years. I hate being alive and have come very close to suicide many times; in the past I have made several attempts, and been saddened to live every single time. I have been labelled everything from an attention-seeker to a loony, and I have been shunned by the mental health services etc. I don't have family to support me, or any real friends. I don't have people to visit me or to make me feel good about myself. I can't work, because I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. My whole life has been crap and I was abused as a child; presently I can't sleep hardly, because I get plagued by nightmares and flashbacks 24/7, but I am still here, and I know that if I can handle it, you can too. Please give life a chance; it takes much more courage to decide to live and to actually survive, than to end it all. But suicide is a very difficult thing to achieve, because it usually fails. This is not what you will want to hear, but it's true.

 

Alex xxx

[Spirits Away]

I'll tell you about a reality toggle, i used to think i'm a very nice person too. Actually the best person there is on earth. I'm not embarrassed to say this either because in my view, i am the best. Anyone who acts just like how i behave, i'd consider them very close to sane. In fact, people tell me i am sane in a lot of different ways. But funny things happen, i'm not the most popular kid, nor am i the most liked guy on earth. Here's the ultimate truth i tried to pass onto you, "people likes to be around others who makes them feel good" I first got that idea from Dale Carnegie, and then i see it everywhere. So being "nice" does not particularily make people want to be around you. It's two separate topics. You can relate it with one another by saying that you treat them nice, so they like you. But there are other aspects to "liking you" too... for example... say a person just met you, he'll look at how respectable you are from the way you present yourself, how others treat you, how you treat him, and ashamingly to list... how useful you are. But as for now, HS is not so much about usefulness yet...

 

And another sudden realization came upon myself. I keep saying i'm nice and all that... but out of the many years i've been alive, who did i really help? If i were to name a single person i truly helped their lives with, I can't name one, not even one... it's true that i've been nice to a lot of people, i'm generous, polite, and so forth... but you can only be nice to them in a moment, and life moves on. You didn't grant them your friendship. Didn't really make them a happier person long term... Just by giving people the label of having you as their friend can comfort their soul. But you did not initiate and offer that.

 

 

Also, even though you might not realize, you might be hurting somebody right this moment... For me, there are a lot of people wanting to know me better, but i often ignore them when they get too close, cuz i'll get uncomfortable. Then they'll get mad... And I still admit that i'm a good guy. Do you see what's wrong with this picture? There are many things we do wrong, but we still think we did the best we can... But sometimes the best of us isn't enough. It's kinda funny to say this, I sometimes feel that the older I get, the more sin i realize i posess... but at the same time, i feel more and more sane. You'll realize you did a lot of things wrong as you get older. Because of that, you should strive to improve and shape a better you every year that comes. At the moment, the best of us can just be another sharpened knife that hurts other's feelings, just that you might not notice it yet.

 

What if i tell you that everything you did up until now are wrong, and are a knife in disguise of a person who present themselves as a good guy?

 

What if i tell you that everyone thinks they're good people, but we all have different ways of presenting it?

and we all have our "reasons" to be bad at times

 

Another thing hit my mind as i'm talking about nice guys...

 

U know, I used to think that the so called "players" are bad, but i grew to respect them quite a lot over the years by simpily knowing them and observing how they treat others... There are many things in them that we good guys should all learn from. And of course, there are a lot of things we shouldn't learn either. I'll just tell you one small thing out of many they do that we don't. One small but important thing is just simpily to "initiate". They can do that much better than nice guys whether it's just initiate friendship or girls. Lets ignore the fact that they do it for a more grand purpose... They did offer friendship, and you didn't

 

so a couple of things

 

- good guy and having friends does not relate much

we can be both good guy and have friends at the same time, but the two doesn't relate (some will disagree with me on this, but remember don't contrast with the opposite extreme - bad guys with attitude problems... it's not related to my point anymore when there attitude is involved)

 

- We always have the best in heart for others, when it comes to behaving outwardly, we might be hurting others and we don't realize it

 

As for girls... u sorta asked why doesn't girls appriciate good guys as oppose to bad ones? it's kinda obvious... You'll realize how girls work as the girls like you. Trust me, there will be girls that will like you in the years to come. Girls are definitely looking for their prince at your age and the coming years... by then your worry is probably not so much on chances with girls but you being too picky

[dpressedone89]

look ive tried three times if your gonna kill your self why would you care about pain any way these guys sayin they arent going to tell you how well i will but i hope you reconsider

OverDose. thats the only painless way i know idont know if you have ever cut like you planned on but that hurts like a bitch i hope you get this in time

[Shyness_overwhelms]

you are only 17..... y end it??? there is so much ahead!!! thinking that there wont be anyone with you is all wrong..... your family and friends are there right beside you.... it sounds mushy but its true.... just because you think its not worth it , doesnt mean it really isnt worth it.... giving up is never the right way to go.... trust me on all this.... MY ONE FRIEND KILLED HERSELF BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THAT LIVING ANOTHER WEEK WOULD BE TOO HARD.... HER BOYFRIEND DUMPED HER, HER DAD LEFT, HER MOM DISOWNED HER..... SHE TOLD ME ALL THIS ON THE PHONE ONE NIGHT......!!!!! THAT SAME NIGHT, SHE HUNG HERSELF.......AFTER THAT, HER PARENTS GOT BACK TOGETHER AND THEY BOTH NEVER LEFT EACHOTHER SINCE.... THERE WERE 119 PEOPLE AT HER FUNERAL.... SHE THOUGHT THAT NOBODY LIKED HER.... HER PARENTS STILL ARE CRYING ... THIS WAS 2 YEARS AGO.... THAT JUST GOES TO TELL YOU TO NOT GIVE UP.... EVEN IF U DONT THINK SO.... THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT LOVE YOU.........

 

IT IS NOT WORTH GOING THROUGH!!!!!!! THERE ARE SO MUCH THAT YOU WILL MISS......PLEASE......

[toggle]

hi people

 

i know i aint posted on here in a long time, but i was amazed at the amount of people that have actually veiwed this topic, OVER 1000!

 

probably make it a sticky on adbvice on suiscide since there is so much helpful comments here lol.

 

well, i know all you people have been trying to help. but im still going to do it.

 

i feel more empty than when i first set up this topic and i dont think words or advice will really help. there is one thing in my life though, one thing that i feal is mine which is my job, as i feel i can help people and im constinatly surronded by people and feal secure. but since im only training this will be gone soon as my training ends on july 27th but there is a job vacany coming up so wish me luck, i didnt get the last one coz of my age and experiencve

 

sooooooo, dont know what else to say, not much in my life to talk about.

 

ah, i do have a question though

someone mentioned dont cut wrists (although i do this anyway and i thoguht it wouldnt hurt much) so any other options?

 

dont wonna jump coz i dont want to make it to public that i killed myself, erm....any ideas? (+ guns are illegal in UK and itll be ahrd to smuggle in a 12 guage shoty)

 

cant say when i can post back, im making a website. itll be launched soon. Ill be going through the prosess of buying the domain, itll be link removed and itll be launched on 29th july on my last day if you want to have a look. the internet is my life so why not post my life on the net?

 

anyway best be going cya laterz

 

and best wishes in your life

 

 

p.s dont cock your life up like i did

 

 

 

 

thanks for all your help.

 

Toggle

[birdgirl]

That's such a mean thing to do to the people who love you. And they do love you.

[toggle]

would you able to name these "people" that love me?

[KatieCutie0]

well... hmmm let me think, toggle... this is so hard!

 

oh yeah... maybe you didn't realize...

US!

We all care about you so much, look, you said so your self that you couldnt believe how many people have viewed and responded to this single post!

Your living with your eyes only half open! open them up ALL the way and realize what you will , yes you will, be missing!

dont do this. if you became more aware, then you'd realize that this is not something to be thrown away!!!

ttyal. byez.

think about it !!!

[sum1umiteno]

Hey man dont kill ur self y do u think all of us have replyed its because we care and by killing ur self you would be killing all the care tht we've put into u and all the concern tht we have for u, hell i just joined e-not... and i alredy feel like part of the society. i mean think about it we dont respond cuz were bored we reply b/c we care about u and all the other ppl in this society, u might as well call this a "family" each one looking out for one another, so how can u feel empty wen u have all there ppl looking out for u, all these ppl who care about u?

[.hEArT bRoKeN.]

doin that wont work btw ive tried and even if u do cut far enuf into the vein lets just say ur wish of dyin painlessly int gonna work.i know u prob wont do this coz u prob dnt giv a s*** but add me on ur msn n we can tlk or email me. we can help each other and altho i dnt know u i wud hurt over ur death

[toggle]

hiya ppl,

 

i'd thought i'd bring this topic back up because its my topic and where all my original suicidal thoughts have been jotted down.

 

When looking back on how suicidal and how depressed i was around 3 months ago was a lot more serious than i is now, even though i still feel like i want to die.

 

But i must admit that this site has helped me alot, through reading peoples topics and posts i have gained additional ways on thinking why not to kill myself.

one of the things i think may be making me feel this way is because of work.

 

I know it may sound stupid and people might say "how can a 16 year old suffer from stress" but i got a job that around 400 people reliy on me it becomes pretty stressful, spcially since the job im doing is for like adults at the age of 30s and im doing it and just came out of school last year!! (talk about commitment. hehe) But also, wouldnt it be 'more' stressful for a kid in theory? because if you think about i am not fully matured and i dont have the "mental" experiences in dealing with this kind of stress!

 

A thing that keeps me from being depressed that seems will never go away and i need help to cure is wherever i am, in a supermarket, or a sweetshop or somewhere where i am forced to go to i am always thinking "i hate it here, i wish i didnt have to come here again, if i died i would never have too again" and the scary bit is when i go home and the same thoughts are traveling through my head. everytime i am asked or dragged out my room i wish i didnt have to go, and i keep thinking to myself if i was nto alive i wouldnt ahve to.

 

Since being on the site it seems each fortnight i accomplish a goal or a section of my depression that helps and i seem to analyse and discover a reason why i feel this way.

 

This is making me happy, somedays i feel like dieing, but some days im reasonalby happy. it seems to be a steady process but each fortnight or so i am definalty getting better, and this site has helped loads. in a way im scared though that i might be lighting up this dark tunnel a bit at a time and one day when i get to then it is going to be seeled or a creeping darkness that will nefver be lite up, im scared that i amy never be able to be happy, or escape form depression.

 

I am also finding it helps when i talk to someone, i was speaking to my mentor who gave me advice and reasurance.

 

Thank you all enot, u seem to be helping!

 

(i have to take my pic off as A) im ugly, HA and B) i dont want anyoen to recoginise who i am)

 

 

"my new quote = Live for tomorrow, not for Today