a poem to my girlfriend advice please?

[joethe]

I am going to take my girlfriend out to dinner tomorrow night and surprise her by taking her to a good spot to see the sunset, there i am going to give her this poem. What do you think? what i can i add or delete? I have never ever wrote a poem to a girl so your probably going to laugh.

 

I think of you when I wake up

I think of you when I go goodnight

Your beauty is truly a remarkable sight

I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you

I have realized that all of my dreams because of you have come true

Your everything thing I ever wanted, your everything I need

My love for you is everlasting indeed

Please hold me tight and never let go

I promise you our love will continue to grow

I love you more as every second goes by

Being with you I feel as if I can fly

[melrich]

It's from your heart so it is good. Enjoy the night.

[butterfly07]

thats a beautiful poem!!

[joethe]

thanks, its not too corny is it?

[joethe]

i revised it a bit. Better?, Worser?

 

I think of you in the morning

I think of you at night

I get a wonderful feeling in my heart when im with you, and even when we fight

I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you

I have realized that all of my dreams because of you have come true

Your everything thing I ever wanted, your everything I need

My love for you is everlasting indeed

Please hold me tight and never let go

I promise you our love will always continue to grow

[anggrace]

"I get a wonderful feeling in my heart when im with you, and even when we fight"

 

I think you should replace the above with what you originally had...

 

"Your beauty is truly a remarkable sight"

 

Either way, it's really sweet. Have fun!

[kaz1]

Great poem! She is going to love it.

[butterfly07]

I agree with anggrace, you should replace that line back to the original

She will love it i'm sure. Let us know how it went.