Another down day

[lisaria]

Hi everyone,

Today is a sad day for me. I think I had expectations from seeing the ex on Tues. and when they didn't occur, it threw me back a few steps. I don't know why I expected him to realize how much he missed me and wanted me. I can't seem to get it through my head that he's gone and won't be back. That he has someone else and I am nothing to him and that I have always meant nothing to him.

Or could this be the beginning of my plan for getting him back? It just would take forever since I may see him one day a week for two seconds. I have no patience. We both smiled and said the general "hi, how are you" thing. His smile did look kind of funny. I wonder if mine did. He probably didn't know what to expect from me, since I come from a crazy family and he knows that.

What do you guys think? Should I just give it up? Everybody says forget him and I wish to God I could. But he was the best thing in my life for a while and I want it back. Or should I continue to hope and be nice and smile when I do see him? Or should I run the other way? Since you guys have been with me for a while now and know my story, tell me what you think. Please give me some advice. I'm so confused again.

Lisa

[lnxfrkk]

Hi Lisaria,

 

I recently had the same encounter, but it was over the phone.I called my ex who dumped me after three years 3 months ago and don't know why I called.To make the long story short, she kept the conversation short making an excuse that she had to go.I feel the same way you do.She doesn't seem to care for me and I feel she never really did in the past like I was a look for her friends.She had a strange smurk over the phone like "yeah, I still have control over him,he's going to keep calling me;I have control."just think in your mind that you will get through this as time goes by.The 2 months I didn't talk to her, I felt a lot better.I was always hoping for her to call me one day and tell me that she wanted to try our relationship.I will pray for you tonight.

[aha]

Hey Lisaria,

 

I've read alot of your posts the past couple of weeks and I think you give pretty good advice.

 

Some days are good and somedays are bad. I think you said somwhere, you have to take one step at a time. Put one foot in front of the other. And sometimes we take steps back.

 

I wish I had better advice for you. Just keep looking forward. I'm learning not to look back and my ex is missing out on a good guy. I'm sure he is too.

 

Take care

[lisaria]

aha, Inxfrkk, thank you for your advice and input. You guys make me feel better. I put one foot in front of the other and I got through this day. I actually thought about a friendly call to him, but I decided not to and I am soooo glad I didn't. He already knows he could have me if he wanted me, I am sure that's what that smirky little smile meant and that would just make me feel like crap. Inx, I'm sorry your phone call didn't go well. Are you doing the no contact again? I really think that is the best for us. It hurts knowing how much we care and How little they care. Just that I would have done anything....anything at all to make him happy. You're right aha, he's missing one damned good woman!

I went to the gym tonite and worked out and that always helps. You guys get out and do that too. It makes you feel so much better. Not to mention the results that your ex will see when you run into them. I just wish when I had run into my ex I had been surrounded by cute and buff guys hanging on to my every word.

Oh well, maybe next time.

Lisa

[lnxfrkk]

I was just curious what it means when a girl tells you to forget about her after she breaks up with you and tells you that you should get on woth your life?

[lisaria]

It usually means you should forget about her and get on with your life. I'm sorry.

[Scout]

Hi Lisaria...I have read many of your posts, and have been impressed with the fact that even though you're dealing with a painful break-up yourself, you reach out to others with really well thought-out, and good, advice. I can completely relate to how you felt on your down day. Yes, you did have something really good with this person, at one time. And it's incredibly sad, I know, that time is over. It makes you feel abandoned. The worst part is, it makes you feel like you have so little control over your own happiness.

I can relate, I can relate!

 

The truth is, as long as we pick people that are not strong and steady in character and have a clear idea of what they want, we won't be in control of our destiny. On the other hand, we need to learn how to handle it when we do meet the right type, because we're not used to that, either, and could do something to sabatoge it! So - how do we learn what we need to learn? I personally have learned quite a bit from this forum, and I also am an advocate of therapy. You can learn so much about yourself, and most importantly, learn to accept, maybe even love the parts of yourself that before you deemed unlikeable. It is a liberating experience, indeed.

 

Therapy can go a long way toward the healing process. If you don't have insurance that will cover it, there are many programs that offer significantly reduced fees for those that qualify. Call a local university's counseling department, and they can give you more info on that, or at least point you in the right direction.

 

Everything is going to be ok. You'll see.