don't know what to do - so stressed!!!

[Jessica1983]

Hi

 

Thank you for reading

 

Please tell me what you think. I may have a bit of a grass is greener syndrome happening. At least I hope it is just that and that I can get over it.

 

My ex has just come back into my life because I contacted him. I've been with my husband for over 4 years and I was with my ex for 4 years. My ex was my first love, we lived together and it was amazing and passionate and extremely loving in many ways but also very up and down and rocky. We split and it was heartbreaking - the hardest thing I have ever been through. I moved away to move on and met my husband, and I love him. But he has not been showing me any affection lately. We get on fine but more like brother and sister. It's like I'm just a close friend, he won't kiss or cuddle me. So I've starting talking with my ex again because I never stopped thinking about him and we both still have strong feelings. I know he loves me still and always will. I'm scared to leave my husband because other than lack of affection and sex there is nothing wrong, but I'm sad to stay and miss out on the amazing love I have/had with my ex.

 

I know no-one is perfect, but I can't stop thinking about how my ex makes me feel (desired and special) and how my husband doesn't make me feel that way. My husband is never rude or nasty to me but he takes me for granted and I never feel cherished. I always loved my ex and now he's back in the picture I'm so confused. I love my husband but it's not passionate. He is a good man though.

 

I want to be happy in my marriage but I'm not fully happy. It is so tempting and exciting to think about being with my ex.

 

I'm going crazy.

 

I wish I could switch off my brain and stop thinking because I'm really stressing myself out over this.

 

Should I just get over it and move on? And just keep my ex as memories?

[metrogirl]

You have a man that is good to you. Not a lot of woman can honestly say that. So he's lacking in the affection department. Have you talked to him about it? Sounds like he might just be a little too comfortable, men get like that sometimes.

 

Your ex is an ex for a reason. I wouldn't be so quick to jump ship because your husband isn't as affectionate as you would like. Your ex could very well break your heart a second time and where would that leave you? Without an ex or a husband.

[DN]

What did you promise your husband on your wedding day?

[kevinm]

All relationships take work OP... give your husband an chance before letting your hormones get the best of you. Maybe he thinks YOU'RE not being as affectionate as you used to be!!!

 

Looking back at past relationships we often only remember the good, and not the reasons why we broke up with the ex in the first place.

 

-Kevin

[OreEle]

you have to remember those "up and down" times, and when it hurt. It is a lot easier to try to fix the labido with you husband and the try to fix the rockiness of your ex. And as always, comunication is the key. If you husband doesn't know how you feel, he can't change it. remember, marriage is a partnership. if you work together, you both can get through this and be happier and more in love for it.

[Jessica1983]

Thanks for your replies and I agree with you all.

 

When I talk to my ex, I still feel exactly the same way I felt when I met him and we were together, butterflies and excitement. I never got the same butterflies and excitement with my husband because he is always so reliable and responsible. My ex was never terrible or nasty but he was a free spirit and kept me on my toes and it was exciting and passionate, but stressful at the same time.

 

My relationship with my husband is a bit boring, because it is so stable!!! But because there was tension and mystery with my ex it was never boring and the sex was always fantastic.

 

I think I just have to grow up and move on. I will always love my ex but maybe that's normal to still have feelings for them and remember the good times.