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ahem .. anal sex - how was your first experience?

loveyousomuch

By loveyousomuch
in Sex and Romance

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loveyousomuch Rookie

loveyousomuch

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Okay so long story short, I tried it for the first time last night because I had a baby a month ago and it's not safe for me to have vaginal sex yet.. Even though I'm really not sure if anal sex was on the list of things I can do yet, my SO and I were drunk and wanted to fool around so that was our solution..

 

Anyways, my experience was.. less than comfortable. It was okay but it really just didn't do it for me. I was wondering if it was because it was my first time. I just found it kind of hurt at first, and then it well.. to be blunt about it, it reminded me of pooping.. once it stopped hurting..

 

Although, on the plus side: I did like how I felt like I was being dominated.

 

So - for those of you who have done it; how was it your first time?

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vertigoxo Proficient

vertigoxo

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Well, I have never had anal sex. But, um, to be explict, I've had someone's finger in my bum to get me "comfortable" with the idea of anal sex. Oh, and rim jobs... heh. It did felt like taking a poop, so I didn't liked it very much. I'm amazed at how some people can enjoy it, but I just don't. Maybe with the right person it can be more comfortable? Who knows.

 

I don't like it, and I'm a heterosexual female.

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bertdru Community Regular

bertdru

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I don't know if I should start a new thread - I think you guys would be pissed if I started a new thread.

 

Anyway I think you all know about me. A guy has offered to give me a blowjob but he requires me to do another thing - anal. Now I feel it is an icky activity and I don't want to put my thing in that place. But still I want to get a blowjob and maybe the anal thing would be like a subtitute to vaginal sex?? What do you guys think? That guy seems pretty confident about letting me in(literally) with condoms, of course. Is it still safe to do it?

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savignon Collaborator

savignon

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It's fantastic. It should not hurt at ALL if done properly.

 

We do it at least once a week.

 

I can give detailed instructions {albeit censored} if requested..

 

Please do!!! I wonder what other people are doing right that we aren't. I haven't particularly enjoyed it but my SO loves it so I'd like to get more into it if there are any pointers!!

You can pm me if you don't want to post here.

Thanks!!

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Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

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Anybody with no desire to do it and may even be a little turned off by it (yet open minded) try it and then find out they loved it?

 

Or is this one of those things that if you don't think you'll like it, you really won't like it once you try?

 

I can't see myself ever liking any thing happening to my backside. But, sometimes I think I'm a bit boring. I almost wish I had a fetish so I could share something....

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savignon Collaborator

savignon

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Anybody with no desire to do it and may even be a little turned off by it (yet open minded) try it and then find out they loved it?

I had always thought "No way!" but figured, what's the worst that can happen when I know my partner will stop as soon as I'm uncomfortable? I can't say I "love" it, but I can say HE does and that I'd like to find a way to make it more enjoyable. Some women love it so I have to wonder what they're doing that we're not doing...hmmm??

Debaser, on a scale of 1-10, how willing to try it are you without hearing rave reviews?? (10 being the most)

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Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

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I'd say a 1.

 

I only ever think about trying it when I come on ENA and hear everyone loving it.

 

The last thought on my mind when having sex or foreplay is anal sex or rim jobs.

 

He's told me that he also has no desire for it. I can't help but think that it's worth a shot though. It might be completely awesome and we're just missing out. I think I'll wait until we have our own place though and some privacy.

 

As far as cleanliness goes, what's that all about with anal? Does he have to wear a condom? Does it ever smell? Do you fast beforehand?

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Jd1983 Explorer

Jd1983

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I think it really depends on how comfortable you are. If you are more relaxed and comfortable, it can feel really good. However, if you're still uneasy about the whole idea - then it'll be really painful.

 

My first experience was horrible, I was literally crying but then as I eased up to it, it wasn't that bad and felt pretty good. My boyfriend and I do so once in awhile, I have to be really in the mood in order to do so. It's good because it's add spices into our sex lifes and it's always good to switch it up once in awhile.

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loveyousomuch Rookie

loveyousomuch

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For those of you have done it does it feel better than normal intercourse?

 

imho, the ahem - finger in the but feels good, but not better than normal intercourse. as for the actual anal sex, it doesn't feel nearly as good, however if you're into the dominance thing, it might be something to try.

i think it's probably something you'd have to try it to really know if it was for you or not.

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loveyousomuch Rookie

loveyousomuch

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It's fantastic. It should not hurt at ALL if done properly.

 

We do it at least once a week.

 

I can give detailed instructions {albeit censored} if requested..

 

i would love to have those instructions, just to see if i can actually enjoy it because it really wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. PM them to me if you want. =)

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starlight40 Enthusiast

starlight40

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My first time with it i found it very painful, he wasnt very gentle and just thrust it straight in there! I literally shot accross the bed!

 

The next time i tried it with my now ex i loved it, he did everything right, was really gentle with me, we did it in the spoons position really slow, its now one of my favourite things, feels a little bit wrong, like maybe you shouldnt be doing it- all adds to the naughtiness of it all

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HeroicFool Newbie

HeroicFool

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To enjoy it, you just need to be informed on the subject matter. Here's my guide to anal sex.

 

First, both people need to have some interest in it. Usually guys want to do it because its kinky and taboo. Often women will have an interest too - to a degree - for the same reason, but also the submissive aspect, as well as pleasing her partner. With both partners wanting it, at least a little, you can proceed. However, if the woman has a hemorrhoid, you probably don't want to proceed - it is almost impossible to have enjoyable anal sex with one, and it risks the possibility of injury (tears, bleeding).

 

Second, the guy has to be patient and considerate. Basically, he has to know what he'd doing. If he doesn't, just keep reading - I tell you what to do and what not to do.

 

Third, the woman has to be relaxed and comfortable, and ideally "wanting" it. Like all sex, how great it is often depends on how much each person is wanting it.

 

Ok, so now you're ready, right? Not quite. The woman needs to have a bowel movement first, and then wash up. The rectum is empty unless you have to poop, so by going to the bathroom you give yourself a window of several hours to do the deed without embarrassing accidents*. Then you want to wash up after to reduce the exterior bacteria, just in case a small tear happens**. Now the last piece of the puzzle is lube. You probably want a thicker lube for the first few times until you're experienced, but any lube will do. Saliva works, but dries quickly, so I can't recommend it.

 

So, now you're ready. The woman's bum is ready, and the man is rearing (heh) to go. So let's talk positions. Most people assume that the defacto anal sex position is doggy style, but that is usually wrong. The best positions for anal sex are those that offer the most comfort and relaxation to the woman. This means that missionary, or lying on her side will usually be superior to doggy style, or her being on top. If you (the woman) feel like your muscles are active while awaiting penetration, then you're not in a good position and you need to change. Many guides will recommend the woman be on top to control the penetration, but with a trustworthy, patient, and considerate man, this is unnecessary, and missionary or laying on your side is better in my opinion (you can still control him with your arms/legs if need be).

 

Some women find they are more relaxed after an orgasm, while others will be more tense. If you are of the former, then have other sex - oral or vaginal, whatever floats your boat - until you achieve orgasm. The extra lubrication you will have produced will help, as you can never really have too much lubrication (at least for the first few times).

 

Most people have done some sort of anal play before actually diving into full on anal sex. Rubbing fingers on the outside of the anus during sex is a good way to get you warmed up. Rimming/analingus works too. Working up to gentle penetration with a finger can also be a good idea. Like drilling a pilot hole, before drilling the actual hole .

 

If you have a vibrator, you will probably want it ready and on standby for clitoral and/or vaginal stimulation once anal begins.

 

Ok, now Lube up.. lots. Penis and bum. Keep the lube nearby, because you'll want to add more soon. Get in position. Get that vibe going, if applicable. Penetration time. Relax and breathe.

 

Ok, guy, get it in there, but be gentle. Seriously, you will be rewarded for your gentleness soon. If it's your first time, you may be surprised at how much force it takes to get the penis in there. Once it's in, only penetrate just past the head. It will feel pretty tight, and maybe even a bit uncomfortable (pulling on your skin). Trust me, that discomfort you're feeling is worse for her. Don't move. Just wait. Help her relax by rubbing her back, kissing her, talking to her - whatever works for her and the position you are in. Over the next couple minutes, her anus will relax, so long as you keep movements to a minimum. Gradually, you can start sliding a bit, very small amounts, very slow. You should feel her relaxing a bit, and that is your queue. Now might be a good time to add some more lube, but do NOT withdraw completely. Just withdraw mostly, then apply lube to the penis shaft and her anus as best you can, and resume slow thrusting to work it in.

 

Around this time, if things are going well, something very cool will happen. The woman should no longer be in any discomfort, which will in turn relax her, which will again make it more comfortable. You will now be able to slide in and out much easier because of this. Maintain a steady, reasonable thrusting pace - you really don't want to jackhammer her (probably). At this point the woman can focus on the pleasurable feelings (or taboo, or kinky - whatever works). The guy can gradually start penetrating a bit deeper, using the tightness changes and her sounds (and words) as a guide. By now it should basically feel like a nice tight vagina. That is - until she orgasms.

 

When a woman orgasms with you inside her bum, you will seriously feel it. In fact, you will hardly be able to move at all, depending on how good it was. Generally, you probably want to cum with her, or very soon after. By the time you get to this point, most women are ready to bring things to conclusion, and you don't want to overstay your welcome in there if you ever want to go back. Revel in how lucky you are to have such a great woman, pat yourself on the back for giving her that orgasm, and then hurry the heck up and get things done.

 

If she isn't able to orgasm (and lets you know that she doesn't think she will be able to), just feel it out for a good time, and the let rip. Again, you don't get points for lasting all night with anal - at least not at these early stages - you just want to get to the point where she is enjoying herself, and then finish before she starts to get uncomfortable.

 

Note: nothing that goes in or on the anus goes into the vagina. Seriously, men and women, don't be stupid about this, even if you're drunk or high. If the penis has been inside your bum, it can't go into your vagina until it has been washed with soap and water - otherwise you will be risking one heck of an infection.

 

Ok, so that's pretty much my guide. I really recommend women try anal at least twice, and compare the 2nd time to the first. If it was better the 2nd time, then try it a 3rd and subsequent. You may find it gets better each time. Keep discussing things too. If it is nothing but pain and discomfort both times, then you probably don't want to try again - at least not with your current partner. Different guys have different sizes and techniques, and you may find doing it with another guy to be a remarkably different experience.

 

If anyone has any questions about this guide, or wants further discussion, feel free to ask here or message me.

 

---

 

* If you're ready for anal sex - either as the man or the woman - then, frankly, you should be ready to deal with the possibility of seeing poop. If done properly, it won't be an issue, but there is always a chance. Personally, I have never seen poop from anal sex, and I've done it a fair bit with multiple women.

 

** Small tears or wounds of any kind should not occur. If it happens, there was not enough lube, the thrusting was too hard/rough, or perhaps the woman had a hemorrhoid - which would mean anal sex should not be happening anyway.

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