Maybe I am just being paranoid but I want someone to tell me if my own judgement is right

[Sam _]

My own opinion is more than likely, I am but there is the other part of me (the paranoid part) that is beginning to bug the hell out of me and I want to be 100% sure one way or the other.

 

I am an assisstant manager at a corner grocery store. The girl this is about is a regular to my store. I enjoy being out on the floor so I run a register when I can and whenever I run a register, she always comes to my register rather than anyone else's. We have casual conversations and I started getting to like her personality and I always thought she was pretty cute. So after a while I decided I was going to ask her out. So the next time she came to my register, I asked if she had a boyfriend. She said "No" and I asked if I could get her number and she just smiled and said "I don't see why not" and wrote me her number. I wrote her mine and then she left with her groceries. I called her a couple days later and we wound up talking for eight and a half hours straight. Talked about ourselves, our past, had intelligent conversation (about religion, philosophy, medical and mental health, and many other topics).

She told me several times over the phone that she has never been on the phone for longer than an hour, let alone with a guy. When I had to get off (getting tired since it was 3 in the morning) she made it clear that she REALLY didn't want to stop talking because it has been so long since she has had a meaningful conversation, let alone an intelligent one. I asked her out and she said yes.

Our first date went very well and she said that she is looking forward to our next date. When I dropped her off, she hugged me pretty tightly. Needless to say (even though its only been one date) I like her a lot.

 

Here is where my paranoia comes in: I tried calling her three days later (I was very busy with work) and asked what she was doing later in the week cuz I wanted to take her out to dinner. She said she doesn't think she'll be able to do anything anytime soon because her family is coming down from out of state and she wants to spend time with them. I tried contacting her six times since then (been three weeks since then) and only heard from her once, not including the two times she came into the store. She texted me a couple days ago out of the blue apologizing for not talking and saying that her family and work is keeping her so busy that all she has wanted to do lately is sleep.

The two times I saw her, she came to my register both times and mentioned she won't know when the next time she will be able to talk is due to how busy she has been. Both times, she seemed genuinely happy to see me.

 

I am 95% sure I am being completely paranoid but the remaining 5% is annoying the hell out of me, even though I believe that I have no reason to be paranoid. Your thoughts? I just need someone to make me 100% sure either way.

[-Sanguine-]

If you think she's being genuine when she talks to you, she probably is. And she did text and apologize, right? Look at it this way... if she was trying to blow you off, why would she text you, come to your register, and seem happy to see you?

[Esteller]

yea you prob are being paranoid but you being paranoid is not happening for no reason.. if something is giving you a hint that something is wrong take it in as a consideration. keep your distance at least enough where you wont get hurt but at where you could leave were yal left off.

[loulee]

Maybe she is shy??...I would instigate her taking the next step.. you have tried enough...next time you see her let her know that you understand she has been busy etc and that you will leave it up to her to contact you in the next week or two that you would love to grab a bite to eat and chat again with her...ball is in her court then, plus you have put a time frame on it..Im sure she can find time if she is keen within a couple of weeks!!..good luck...

[DaXMan]

I called her a couple days later and we wound up talking for eight and a half hours straight. Talked about ourselves, our past, had intelligent conversation (about religion, philosophy, medical and mental health, and many other topics).

 

8.5 HOURS...STRAIGHT?? I feel your call to her should have been more like 8.5 minutes. I learned this the hard way too, but if you spend too much time on the phone with a girl, then there isn't that sense of mystery anymore, she isn't as curious about you because you told her everything in the 8.5 hours.

 

That's why I feel she is "tired" or "busy" whenever you ask her out. She knows you're interested, but if she's making all sorts of excuses, she might just like the attention.

 

You may as well pursue this because it's better than not knowing, but I wouldn't keep my hopes sky high either. Good luck!

[gidget1]

I would just call her and politely tell her that when she's free, you'd really like to see her? That's all you can do for now.

Don't think about the what-if's (does she like me or not? etc.) because it'll drive you crazy!

[Difficult]

I'd move on, best case scenario she comes back, worst case she doesnt. Really doesnt matter if you have another girlfriend.

[servedcold]

8.5 HOURS...STRAIGHT?? I feel your call to her should have been more like 8.5 minutes. I learned this the hard way too, but if you spend too much time on the phone with a girl, then there isn't that sense of mystery anymore, she isn't as curious about you because you told her everything in the 8.5 hours.

 

That's why I feel she is "tired" or "busy" whenever you ask her out. She knows you're interested, but if she's making all sorts of excuses, she might just like the attention.

 

You may as well pursue this because it's better than not knowing, but I wouldn't keep my hopes sky high either. Good luck!

 

Agree, and also think you are not being paranoid. She has lost interest. Try to cultivate other options. Best wishes.

[addictedblue]

You aren't being paranoid, I personally think she's lost interest. I always think that if someone really wants to see someone, they will make it happen. So she has family down or whatever, that doesn't mean she is with them 24 hours a day. She could make time to hang out with you, especially if she likes you. I feel like the family thing is just an excuse, and she isn't that into you. When I am not interested in a guy who likes me but don't want to be "mean" about it, I'll give vague excuses as to why we can't hang out and not offer an alternative time. Usually the guy gets the point. She did this to you - she told you she's busy and doesn't know when you'll be able to hang out again since she just wants to sleep. This was her way of blowing you off. Think about it, if she was super interested she'd say "well I've got some free time this day, this time." Next.

[greenrebellion]

The 8.5 call may have done it as someone as already mentioned in this thread. I always try to keep my first phone calls to around the 30 minute mark, sometimes as much as an hour, but beyond that is way too much no matter how well the conversation is going.

[savignon]

I would say you're not being paranoid....that she's lost interest.

Whether or not it's because of the 8 hr phone call isn't going to help you out at this point since what's done is done.

Maybe when she frees up you'll hear from her again. But I don't think anybody is sooo busy that they can't manage a date or nice phone call for three weeks!! I just don't buy it.

Maybe next time she comes into the store, keep yourself busy and don't run up to the register. Don't be available. Tell her YOU'RE busy and will talk to her later.

If she's interested, she'll catch up with you soon.