I Could Really Use Some Help Before I Lose Her

[whathappenedkp]

Hello to all reading. Ive never actually done a forum thing but Im desperate for help and advice, so Ill just give you the story. I am a lesbian. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. I have always been a lesbian, but Im her first girl. I knew that in itself would be a challenge, but it was one I was more than willing to take. At the beginning of our relationship, we both had commitment issues. I broke up with her for a very short period of time to 'have my fun' and she had issues letting go of guys. Needless to say, there was alot of heartache, peticularly for me. We then decided that we in fact truly loved eachother and made some changes and advancements to a healthier, stronger relationship. We moved in together, and after meeting her family, I took her to Wisconsin to meet mine. All seemed well. And I'd never been happier or more sure of anything or anyone in my life. (I always knew 'the one' would be the one I gave myself to, if you know what I mean)

We've been back from WI for a month now. I have gotten a steady income (which was a conflict beforehand) (Understanbly of course) and all problems we had prior were solved. But she suddenly is saying that she doesnt feel the spark anymore. That she feels distant from me. Shes also said shes been looking at other people, and that she has wondered what itd be like to be with someone else. I desperately want to heat our relationship back up. I want her to want me more than she ever has. I want it to the point where she cant keep her hands off me. Im naturally a romantic. So I have all sorts of ideas. But I need some help. Please. Someone must know what we can do together to keep this alive.

[Esteller]

i would know if it was something i did that made her think like that but its something she seemed to come up with on her own.. maybe you could try and just let things be.. like reverse psychology and maybe she will miss you and feel like she wants you or need u. but thats all i can really come up with in this situation.. sorry but also good luck! prepare for the worse and hope for the best.

[nina2009]

hey, I am sorry to hear your problem, unfortunately I do not know how to help it. If one doesn't want to have something it is hard to make them want it. The only productive way is to let her have what she wants, however, as I understand in this case it means to let her go and live separate lives. I am also surviving the breaking time with my GF and may be that affects my judgment, however I do not believe that one person has a power to turn the other around.

[Mutley]

I'm a strong believer in not living together. That seems to be the downfall of so many relationships. The "spark" leaves and it all becomes routine.

 

The only thing I can think of doing....is getting your own place and have limited contact with her....see if she turns around.