It is like no one notices me

[honeybee123]

I try to be social with my work colleagues. I made an extra effort to stay back after work and have a drink or two. I was in a group of 4 people (including me). But I felt like I was totally ignored for the entire conversation. I feel that I just don't fit. I don't understand what is wrong with me.

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[mgirl]

I'm sorry you're feeling that way, it's not a nice feeling. I often feel like that at work, but my policy is to keep it simple, keep quiet and keep work relationships as work.

 

It's all about expectations. If your expectations are low, you won't be disappointed. So, if you don't expect much from work colleagues (they are only people you work with afterall), then you won't be disappointed when the relationships go nowhere.

 

Just my 2 cents

[denise_14]

just continue to exert effort and get to know them better but don't try too hard or else they might get irritated. maybe it just so happened that your interests do not jive, or maybe the group of people you've been trying to make friends with already knew each other for a long time and have established friendships long before you entered the picture. if that is the case, you'll really find it hard to penetrate that circle. are you new at work? anyway, just continue being nice and do your work well.as long as you have harmonious working relationships, you can't go wrong.

[Mavh25]

Ugh, I'm exactly the same honey, you'll find alot of people are.

 

Especially when you're new. Are you new there? do you talk much? I find the very best way to talk to people and get a response is to ask them questions about themselves, people love to talk about themselves.

 

I don't generally fit in anywhere, so I have to make extra effort to be involved.

[Qut81]

Ugh, I'm exactly the same honey, you'll find alot of people are.

 

Especially when you're new. Are you new there? do you talk much? I find the very best way to talk to people and get a response is to ask them questions about themselves, people love to talk about themselves.

 

I don't generally fit in anywhere, so I have to make extra effort to be involved.

Im the same way. Sometimes I think about it too much and it causes me to be more quiet bc Im constantly thinking about whether I should or shouldnt do or say something. Also, when I start to feel left out I become more withdrawn. Does that happen to you also?

 

Just try to relax and join in the conversation. There is usually always something you can add or questions you can ask. Grrr's advice was right on, most ppl like to talk about themselves.

[oldenoughtoknow]

I agree. People love to talk about themselves. Ask them about their spouse, where they live, their kids or their hobbies. That usually makes keeping up a conversation really easy. Just pick a subject and then ask follow up questions as they talk and talk and talk.

 

When you were out with your work group, did they mostly talk shop, or more about their personal lives?