56mercgal Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I met a really cool guy on POF three weeks ago. We have alot in common, believe in alot of the same things, have a connection and have begun to care for each other. We made it clear it's cool if we want to date to date other people while we date. We have already spent a few weekends together on short trips and got along great! Our communication is excellent. He makes me feel very special. He has also bought me some nice things, including a not so cheap dress to go out to a nice restaurant in. He always puts other people's feelings and wishes first, above his own. He is extremely considerate of others. Anyway,trying to make this short He is 52, I'm 43. The problem here is, 18 years ago,when he worked as a respitory therapist at a well known hospital, he met an older lady. They "fell" in love. Or so he thought it was love,more like lust. She was gorgeous.blond sexy,etc. He was in his 30's, and let's just say "very active"! She bailed him out of sticky situations, but for a price. Last time they made love was back 10 years ago, and he felt totally nothing. It was like making love to a dead fish! She was and is a selfish and manipulative woman who is 15 yrs older than him. BUT, she gave him what he wanted in bed then. OK Link to comment
bronte Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 That is pretty weird, and he's clearly willing to put up with her bizarre behavior or he would have done something about it by now. I think you have to decide whether the relationship is worth having to put up with this woman's drama, which will only get more intense when she realizes he's dating you...Yikes! Link to comment
Esteller Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 yea that woman is crazy .. so what if she bailed him out why did she bail him out? because they were in love some odd years ago.. if thats the case if she loved him she wouldnt use that as an excuse. she would completey understand but from what i have read its not like that she is very complicated i think she is just old and very very very very lonely and knows that as you get older it seems like your less and less attractive. Link to comment
56mercgal Posted August 22, 2009 Author Share Posted August 22, 2009 Something interesting here, he aked me if I wanted to see a pic of this woman so I said Ok, he showed me a couple of nude pics of her on his cel. He said they were taken 10 years ago, when they were "having fun". The date on the pic was May 2008.There was never any meaning to thier sex, just all physical. That's all he cared about then. Now he says he wants something more. Finally? At 52? Ok! He said he finally broke the ties with her. He always seemed to defend the mean way she was and attribute that to her age and he is ok with her crap and control freak attitude because she saved his butt from spending more than one night in jail, for something I still don't know what really happened. Then 11 years ago, when he bought this house, actually, he said last night that his mom bought it for him, he's paying her back in payments now. He said a crazy roomate who was renting a room there and people he worked with at the airport where trying to do him in, they were in this set-up together. For what?? Why would someone just decide they don't like you and have you arrested? He said the cops were puzzled as to why they were arresting him. They were shaking in their boots,as he described it. The roomate said he threatened him, but at $150,000 bail?? I still don't think I am getting a straight answer here. Whatever! Anyway, this woman is 16 yrs older than him. He said he has eliminated her out of his life for me. There are some things that are a concern for me that may not be a big deal, but my best friend who's a guy, told me I should dump this dude. One is he lied on the dating site about his age,only 7 years differance but still, good to be honest! In 1997, after working 18 years at this major hospital, He was going to be fired from the hospital he worked at. He was a computer programmer there and he says they wanted him to do something and he wouldn't so they threatened to fire him but he walked into the office slapped his resignation papers down and demanded his severence pay and left. His brother's wife doesn't like him, found that out yesterday when we had dinner. They weren't with us, but I asked if he may have said something, and it took a while but he said "Well, yeah, I brought up some of the women I fooled around with and described certain things I did". I told him, there's a time and place for everything. You don't just go blurting out your escapades to someone, unless they ask. Then he got in bad with the dog breeding world, he had a breeder's husband arrested for stealing a puppy he bought that was flown in. If it was a done deal, and he paid for this puppy, why would this woman's hubby steal it back? Never heard of that before! Maybe that does happen on occasion. He has 2 Borzoi's that are gorgeous dogs, but he bathes them only once a year. These are champion dogs, living in a rundown weed infested yard, with junk piles all around the front part of it behind the house where they sleep. I certainly wouldn't have a dirty place for any animal to sleep in. He said he loves me, and he's never had anyone to confide to, until I came along. He always had sex just to have it. He hung out at a few bars and picked up a few girls, one nighters when he was in his 20's and 30's. He's clean, thank god! Just seems like all the negative stuff that's happened in his life, was never possibly caused by him. Always someone else's fault. I feel weird about that. And he said he wants to take full advantage of our time together which is only on weekends since he lives 120 miles away. He comes accross like it may wnd fairly soon, so he's physicaly moved quickly. It felt great for a while, but I have been doing alot of thinking. I hate to hurt his feelings and not be rmantic with him, we did agree to be friends if it didn't work out. He says he thinks the world of me. Yikes! Any opinions would be greatly accepted! Link to comment
DN Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 You might get more responses if you split your post into paragraphs, it it hard to read a big block of text. Link to comment
fatcat1999 Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 sounds like a story from a crappy novel. if I were you, I won't believe the one who told the story Link to comment
56mercgal Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 OOOPS! SOrry about that,your right! Got carried away,thanks! Link to comment
56mercgal Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 It DOES make for a trashy novel, I guess! I think I'm going to put this book down and move to the next chapter! So TO speak! Link to comment
brechild Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 "Something interesting here, he aked me if I wanted to see a pic of this woman so I said Ok, he showed me a couple of nude pics of her on his cel. He said they were taken 10 years ago, when they were "having fun". The date on the pic was May 2008.There was never any meaning to thier sex, just all physical." Ten years ago??? That would be 1999...how many people had cell phones that had pics? Yeah, and the stories & such get more coo coo as they progress. Seriously, don't walk...run...because if this is the shanighans he brings to the surface, think what he is hiding>>> We all have past loves that we still might like to connect with, but this is simply unacceptable & outrageous. Correct me if I'm wrong, but your total time of being with this guy is a total of three weeks? There are way too many red flags going up here.... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I met a really cool guy on POF three weeks ago He has also bought me some nice things, including a not so cheap dress to go out to a nice restaurant in. I couldn't get my head around this one....he has known you three weeks and he is buying you a dress to wear to a restaurant! Sounds like the movie "Pretty Woman". This was my first red flag..then it went down hill from there! Link to comment
56mercgal Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 THANK YOU so much for the heads up on this one! YOu gotta be careful out there! And he is a top notch computer programmer, so don't know if he was able to download pics off a camera/computer to his new cel phone?? And there was a mentioning of seeing her in MAy this year, she'd be 66. He said NO WAY would I have sex with her now! Well, now I don't know about that. She looked a bit mature in these pics, but it was a not so sharp pic of her in a lit bedroom. Anyway, As hard as it is cause we have alot in common and we both felt a "spark" when we met, I am going to ease off this guy. It's just too weird! Link to comment
56mercgal Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 Hi Crazy, he wanted me to look "real hot" going to this upscale restaurant. His definition was me as "eye candy" and he would dress up the same. He walked me around the inside of the bar area to sort of "show me off". I have found he gets a kick out of that. I don't mind dressing up,looking good, but don't "use" me to show off,please! Link to comment
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