Would like suggestions to remedy bad feelings

[PucksMa]

They met 1/2008ish

HIM~ He's 34, managed a local bar in beach community, rents an old beach dwelling walking distance to bar, so no car. Great party planner, night club manager but lost job peak tourist season 6/2009 and presently waits tables in a popular,nearby tropical themed grill. Hard worker, works double shifts often. His dad died a few years ago and although his mom lives in another state they are on good terms and talk & visit often. Aspires to be a property manager, rental agent, or real estate broker, plans to attend classes someday. Has only been a resident for a couple of years and does not yet have a valid drivers license. Is extremely active with local chamber of commerce and has fun doing fund raisers in community.

HER~She's 23, cutting hair in a high volume haircut factory, owns her car, no car payment. Moved in with him in June 2008. Lost her job and her dad the next month. Freeloaded off of him the rest of the summer. It was an awesome break. Always eternally grateful for that bit of bliss amidst the grieving. In fall 2008 got new job as stylist in posh earth-friendly salon at upper end mall. Work only part time hours until client base grows. She's pretty tight with her mom who's house is between salon & home. Mom is supportive of career goals but not to keen about the dwelling & living arrangement. She has higher expectations, regards the shabby beach shack as a sandy old dudgeon stating 90% of all old beach shacks not on pilings have been demolished for a reason.

THEM~ July 2009 He loves her. She loves him. Moneys tight, a few hussle's for the landlords other apts help out. They have fun and lots of friends. She's pregnant. Friends are all very happy. His family is delighted. Her mother is a snot. Her mother feels a grandchild is a blessing but she is unhappy about the circumstances because she had higher expectations and dreams of a wedding and planned parenthood.

Would like suggestions to remedy bad feelings and build a relationship between him and the mother. Thanks.

[Esteller]

tell her this is what you want. any real caring mother would understand. but maybe you can work some agreement with planned parenthood. just an opinion

[PucksMa]

I am the mother/grandma to be.

[spinstermanquee]

I think you should lead by example. Keep loving, stay supportive, and BE the change you want to see in the world (/her).

 

Bless you for loving your son and his choice of partners, and congratulations on your pending g'mahood! Best wishes for a happy, healthy baby.

[metwo]

I think she should do what she feels comfortable with doing. Not what her mother wants her to do.