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Help Please, About to go mad


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Ok,, so my husband has family vising from Austria and we live in the US, well anyway, my husbands sisters husband (my brother in law) seems to have a problem with me. He will not talk to me, look at me, or even notice I exist. He doesnt like me for some reason.


Anyway so today, we will call my brother in law Kevin. Kevin says for my husband and I to let the family in Austria to use our car. No ONE ever asks us permission they keep forcing us to let them use it. So I tell Kevin ' I dont mind if they use it, but I have a test on Saturday' I said


Then he says to me 'What time is the test?'

I reply 'At 5:00am'

he says 'Why is it so early'

'I said its a physical fitness test'

'For what?' he keeps questioning me

I say 'It is for police'


During this time Kevin and my husbands sister are questioning me like I am lying and trying to make me feel stupid. He keeps making up excuses why the family from Austria cannot use his car instead of mine. We have no A/C in our car and they want to drive it to Las Vegas and then California. I told Kevin, I dont mind them using it I just need to use it Saturday. So then he says well his wife can take me to my test.


I do not like to rely on anyone and I am a nice person, but this is making me upset because last time I let my husbands aunt and cousin use my car they got 2 speeding tickets in my car. I usually stand up for myself but I am living with my husbands mom and I am trying desperately to get on my own. So if I stand up or say a word, his mom will kick me out. I have no where to go. There is more to this story but I would like input please.


I forgot to add, the family from Austria is staying 2 weeks here in the US, they want the car for 4 to 5 days. Can people from foreign countries even drive here? I thought they need a permit? They said they dont want to rent a car because its too expensive.

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lol everyone thinks I am a mean person if I dont let them use it, they will try to say something against me saying my husbands mom lets me live here so I should let them use my car. I dont even know how long my test is on Saturday. I am usually nice to people, I let people use my car all the time, most people have a problem letting someone else use their car. The problem is NO ONE asked to use it, and I need it.

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Agent - I was thinking the same thing, report it stolen. I am way too nice tho. I just need my car, I dont want someone to be telling me and questioning me about my schedule. No, I do not work, I just got back from Washington, I got several interviews here so far and I plan to join the police force because I want to be indepenent and make a life for myself and my family while doing a job I will love to do.

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Honey610 - My husband was sitting there with a pissed off look the whole time, everyone knows my husband gets pissed off and angry. No one talked with him, they were questioning me the whole time and then they went into the other room and were talking crap about me then when I came into the room they were quiet. My husband was saying he was mad but he said let them use the car and they will get what they deserve. He says this shouldnt bother me and to not let them get the best of me.

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I need input please, I'm not a mean person. For some reason Kevin doesnt like me. I dont say anything to anyone. I smile at everyone even tho I know most of them hate me. When I bring this up it will be awkward because they think they can use my car and they are preparing to take it on Friday.

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Hey you dont have to be a bad person to say no about them using your car. If you need to use your car, you tell them a firm 'NO' and let that be that. You don't HAVE to answer to them if they are questioning you about something you need to do. They have to accept that is YOUR car and they can not make you let them drive if you do not want to. I understand that you don't want to say anything to make any one else more upset than they already are, so you need to speak to your husband and have him talk with his family. There is no reason for him to sit back and let them talk to you and treat you like that.

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if you get a job will you be able to move out to your own place soon?

you seem to be stuck because of your living arrangements.

i hope this is a temp situation, if so in your place i would let them use the car but you must check insurance. are you the car owner responsible if they drive your car with no insurance?

who paid the speeding fines?

you husband sounds browbeaten.

if this situation continues once you are independent then you have a real problem to solve. i say that because this problem seems temp due to your circumstances.

why are you nice?

thats a phrase you repeat. are you nice to you.

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Just tell them NO that it is not convenient that they will have to hire a car..remind them that you are providing welcome FREE accommodation and feeding them And remember they do not seem to like you anyway so WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK they are going home soon. Be very firm about this. It is your car..Is it even insured for them to drive it?? Say no and be done with it..The insurance excuse may give you the reason you need to be direct with them. or ask them to pay for the insurance to cover themselves and see what their response is!! I bet it is a flat no...

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Thank you for response. Yes I will have to practice to be assertive/aggressive since I will be training to be police officer. I am nice being because I am living in someone else house for now so I respect it.


I will tell them today they cannot use the car, my insurance only covers my husband and I.

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