HouseKitten Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I wanted to start a cheerful topic until very recently I felt very hopeless about dating. It was enjoyable, but I wasn't feeling anything that even hinted at what me and my ex had, and I was constantly filled with this dread that I'd never meet someone who could fill the gap leaving him made, of being with someone who you connect with. And I know from other topics on here, other people feel or have felt the same! There's hope! I had pretty much resigned to myself to not being with someone seriously for a long time, if ever. I felt comfortable alone. I couldn't imagine giving my life up to someone, or even feeling like I'd want to. I was considering just sticking to casual sex. Then I met this guy and he is the most amazing thing. He feels like he was made for me. We fit together perfectly physically. He gets me. I understand him. Neither of us is perfect but I look at him and the strength of feeling for him is incredible, and the way he looks at me blows me away. It feels like we've known each other a lot longer than we really have. If anyone else is feeling despair about dating again, hang in there. It took me just under 9 months to meet this guy. Not as long as it could have been but it was long enough for me to be fairly depressed about meeting someone like him, ever. But it happens, it really does the comparison between dating people who you're undecided about, to meeting 'that person' is immense. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Thats a lovely inspirational post. Im happy for you! Link to comment
thistime Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 i know because of the many posters who need dating and relationship advice that we fail to remember that some relationships are good and that for those of you still struggling: a) you have had good relationships before, so the concept is NOT impossible and b) the potential for other good relationships DOES exist. NEVER give up hope... The BF and I have officially made it to 2 years as of today! We are in a good place... (the reconciliation that i never thought would happen!) thanks for the cool thread, housekitten! Link to comment
dundermiflin Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Housekitten, I love your post. I printed it out and I want to hang it somewhere where I can read it when I'm having a bad day. Did you say in your first relationship, you were the one that left? Do you mind if I ask why, and how old you are? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I just am feeling terrible still after nine months of leaving a guy and regretting it. We fit together perfectly physically, and we really got each other- two peas in a pod. I let some other things get in the way and now he's in love with someone else. Pretty much everything you said is how I'm feeling, but I want to stay positive about the future. I work with the guy and today he got a call on his cell, but he wasn't there to get it, and I know it was her because the ringtone was something horrible about "how much I love you when I look in your eyes". I was trying so hard to hide tears in my cube. Then I read this post and I really appreciate it- thank you. Link to comment
stingray Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 The question is how many of these chances do we get in a lifetime? And are we already on our last? Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 Did you say in your first relationship, you were the one that left? Do you mind if I ask why, and how old you are? I'm 22 and yes, I instigated the break up. It was a bit complicated in places because I asked him back ad he said no, and then he did the same to me, but overall it was more my choice than his. We'd been together 3-4 years and although I loved him a lot, our life had gotten stuck in a rut and everything went stale. We weren't behaving like a couple so much as two people who happened to live together. I did think for a long time afterwards that we'd get back together eventually but sometimes now when I see him it does become easier to look at him and realise there were things that weren't right with us. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I just am feeling terrible still after nine months of leaving a guy and regretting it. We fit together perfectly physically, and we really got each other- two peas in a pod. I let some other things get in the way and now he's in love with someone else. Sorry to hear that but have hope, there will be someone else. You know you have the capacity to love in the first place because of this guy. It's a real shame you have to work with him though, makes it harder to move on I can imagine. Hang in there it really does get better. I couldn't imagine it, couldn't picture myself ever loving someone else with the same strength I felt for my ex. But when it happens, it's great, especially because you're so overwhelmed that it's happening Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 The question is how many of these chances do we get in a lifetime? And are we already on our last? How many chances do you give yourself? If you're still open to meeting someone then that's all the chance you need. Link to comment
thistime Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 my philosophy in life and love is keep trying until you get it right!! Several relationships and breakups later, i believe i have, however, if for some reason it doesnt work out, I;m pretty sure I would be open to one more try... Link to comment
stingray Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 How many chances do you give yourself? If you're still open to meeting someone then that's all the chance you need. I believe in the whole soulmate theory even though they have been some very harsh views towards it. Link to comment
Megg23 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Great thread! I thought I might add some words of hope... I was in a abusive relationship in high school and the abuse lasted about a year. My then boyfriend got some help and we continued dating for 3 years. I was so hurt by the orginal abuse that the realtionship would never work. We are now really great friends. I picked my life up, met who I thought was a great guy and we moved in together. He started cheating on me. It took every boy of strength I had to kick him out. After that moment my life fell apart. I missed him and couldn't understand why he would do that to me. He strung me along for months after he moved out (using me for sex mostly, but I was too naive to notice and believed we might work it out). I lost all my friends and family over this jerk. I became extremely depressed (for many others reasons besides just him) I fell into to debt because I went from two incomes to one and almost wound up in jail for not being able to afford a speeding ticket. I had my heart broken and my life crushed. I began to believe that no good was ever meant to happen to me. I accepted that my life was going to be horrible forever. Then one day a friend drags me away from the Ben and jerrys and takes me to a friend of hers birthday party. I met my boyfriend that night. It was like it was meant to be. We have been together ever since and I have never known love or happiness like this. He inspired me to clean my life up and pay off my debt I owe him my life because before I met him I was throwing it away. He is the first person to ever love me for exactly who I am. Never let someone try and change you, you are amazing how you are and you will meet someone who completely agrees don't give up living your life because someone isn't in it anymore, live your life for you and that special someone will come along and join your amazing life! Link to comment
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