Is confidence really key?

[G3LesPaul]

I have always heard confidence is the way to attract women, but I am still new to this whole term "confidence"

 

If me, just every day joe, would go up to a very attractive women and introduce myself, she would be a little more interested in me than Brad Pitt who would not introduce himself, as he is just sitting, with his head down, listening to music?

 

I would love to hear advice and stories about what confidence really is!

 

Thanks!

[waveseer]

Are you the man? When you can answer yes, you have confidence.

[SapphireNoir10]

Absoloutley.

 

A guy can be shy, but confident in himself and his abilities at the same time. I love a guy that can make me laugh!

[JusticeLaw9]

I have always heard confidence is the way to attract women, but I am still new to this whole term "confidence"

 

If me, just every day joe, would go up to a very attractive women and introduce myself, she would be a little more interested in me than Brad Pitt who would not introduce himself, as he is just sitting, with his head down, listening to music?

 

I would love to hear advice and stories about what confidence really is!

 

Thanks!

 

Confidence is the key to anything in life. Because when you believe, you perform a lot better and you can think better under pressure. It's when you don't believe in yourself that sometimes things get out of control.

[HouseKitten]

Confidence is tricky. You have to actually like yourself, and it seems like a lot of people don't.

 

I have confidence, because I'm happy with myself, and therefore although I'm not a doubleD blonde amazon, I get a lot of attention. I don't have problems getting the man I have my eye on in the room. Since I'm the girl, and I have quite traditional views on male/female roles I don't have your problem of how to approach, as I don't, but I can imagine how hard it can be when you don't really believe in yourself.

 

No one is perfect. Believe that you are a great person. And believe that not everyone will click with you. You're not everyone's type. Neither is Brad Pitt. Some women will still say no, no matter how confident you are. But the happier you are with yourself, the more open you are to actually making a connection with someone.

 

It's fecking scary. Do it anyway.

[ghost69]

it's knowing who you are as a person and being able to interact with the world without being scared it isn't going to like you.

[savignon]

Being confident is important when approaching women and in general. You read a lot of posters here who start with "nobody likes me"...."nobody ever asks me out"..."it's not going to work anyway"..."life sucks"...etc. It makes it harder to go get what you want in life when your general attitude is that you'll fail at it.

[Sunflour]

Don't confuse confidence with cockiness or conceit, though. Being confident just means feeling comfortable with who you are, being relaxed about talking to people, and being able to put your best foot forward in conversations. You don't have to be an arrogant SOB to be confident!

 

The opposite of confidence: needy, clingy, insecure, tentative.

[ghost69]

it's being able to approach anybody and being comfortable in your own skin and thinking, 'i don't know how you are going to react to me making a move, but i'm going to try anyways cause i want to know if we do click.' the outcome can go either way and you understand that and are cool with it.

[Di_ya2009]

Yeah I think confidence is very important for a guy to have. To me it means a guy who can stand up for himself, who is not shy to talk to others openly or ask questions. One who is not cautious of others but does what he wants and takes jokes easily.

 

Even if a guy is not attractive, him being confident on it's own can be appealing.

 

EX 1. One guy I know he is not attractive at all, but he's got a lot of confidence, if a party is quieting down, he'd be the first one up to announce something to do. He has leadership and is sociable. Even if there are 5 other hot lookign guys sitting there, he will stand out.

 

EX 2. This guy is quiet, only talks when he needs to say somethign but isn't shy about things and is confident with public speaking and speaking up when he has to.

 

EX 3. This guy is reluctant to do anything, is quiet, even when introduced to other people he stays quiet, can't engage in conversations. Would be reluctant to ask for something etc. He lacks confidence and so I won't be attracted to him. He claims he is confident but from my perspective he doesn't appear to be confident.

 

So I guess for me confidence equates to guys who are not shy and who can be themselves and not be ashamed of it.