It's early, yet I still wonder...

[Timbone]

I've met a great girl on a dating site, talked to her in messages, and on the phone. Before our first date she had texted me out of the blue just to tell me something funny that happened to her (fell out of her chair in a work meeting).

 

Before the date, she did say that she was feeling a little cold, but wanted to meet anyway. I had no problem, so meet we did.

 

Have the date, I bring her a little gift - a seat belt. She laughs, says she'll have to put it in her office at work. We have lunch, burgers and beers. Never a lull in the conversation, eye contact, laughing, playing with her bracelet, all good signs. About 2 1/2 hours later, we end it. Her ex is watching her little boy at home. I say we should do something again, she agrees. No hug or kiss or handshake, but it was the first meeting from an online dating site. Not sure if that should bother me...

 

Later that evening, I text her, saying I had a good time and looking forward to doing something again. She texts back saying "yeah, it was a good chat, and I really felt like you were listening to me. Which was nice. Speak soon".

 

Next morning, waiting in line for jury duty, I get a text - it's her, telling me another funny story related to a topic from the date previously. We text a bit, get some funny responses.

 

So that's where it is right now. Seems reasonably positive so far?

 

I am planning on calling again, setting up date 2. I just wonder if this is just a 'friends' thing to her. I dunno.

 

Thoughts?

[petite]

She has a child so I think she would be more careful of getting involved. Not saying that people with kids have no right for a personal life but it does affect the child. See how it goes, take it slow. Call her and set another date.

Try and be friends, if you see her initiating contact with you more, and you guys get a little closer then you will just naturally know how to deal with that situation.

It's still early to say or think about what might happen, you've only had one date.

[savignon]

What makes you think she sees it as "just friends"??

She seems 100% interested to me.

Ask her out again.

[mr.mac]

Just relax and go with it for now. You met on a dating site and some people equate dating to networking or friend meeting. Whatever it is just take it in stride for right now. If you hang out a few times and things are still moving along positively, you can ask her where she wants things to go. Or just let it progress naturally. Either way things are currently in a good place and the key is to keep them there. If you start asking where things stand after one date you are surely going to make her feel pressured. Just take it slow!

[strategos]

You're fine. I agree with petite, it's going to be a bit different with her because she has a child to worry about too. I wouldn't worry about physical contact or anything like that (that comes with time), you did the important thing which was made sure she enjoyed herself. You were smooth even with the gift. I would never bring a gift on the first date, but you pulled it off really well.

 

I presume she is looking for something serious. It's imperative that you become friends with her first. You won't have to worry about the whole "friend-zone" thing because she wants a romantic relationship from the get-go. Get to know her more, keep going out. You met on a dating site, so by default, people are not looking for friendship but something more

 

I see a wonderful relationship developing. This mirrors my relationship with my SO. Play it cool and you'll be fine.

[Timbone]

Hey, thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate it. I am floored with the amount of posts and help that this forum generates, even for a newcomer like myself. So thank you again.

 

petite - You are right, and I know that her child is always going to be priority over me, but that is as it should be. I will certainly be calling her soon, either today or tomorrow, still not sure which may be better.

Also, yes, it was only the first date so it's hard to read into it. At one point in our phone conversations she had mentioned that she went out with a guy again, even though she was not that attracted to him. So I certainly have the 2nd date hurdle to cross. I hope that by being funny and a good listener I can maybe earn a place in her mind and heart.

 

savignon - I think the "just friends" thing is simply that everydate guy fear. I could see her texting a friend with these funny things as easily as a guy she might be interested in. I will certainly ask her out again.

 

Mr. Mac - I agree, taking it slow in this case is right, and fine with me. My last relationships went quickly to the bedroom and I'm not sure that was a good thing, clouded judgments. I like many things about this lady and want the physical part to be important in making her happy, but not THE most important thing. So taking it slow is the way to play it.

 

strategos - Thanks. To the best of my memory, she was looking for Dating or Long-Term, so hopefully I will avoid being tarred with the Friend label. I just wonder if she would like me enough to keep me around by sliding me down to Friend but not consider me for Relationship. Charming enough, just not good-looking enough, as it may go... But, if a few folks see this as progressing fine, then my wondering likely doesn't mirror reality just yet.

[Timbone]

Small Update: Called last night, talked for a bit, and got a second date. I know I'm certainly not Golden yet, since I know some girls will take things to second date status before they really decide what they want to do about a guy. Also, she told me in one of our previous conversations that she had gone out for a second date with a guy that she wasn't that attracted to, so I know that is something that is in her nature.

 

Guess I'll know a little bit more after the weekend. I think I'll have to try for at least a kiss on the cheek if nothing else presents itself during the course of the date, and should that not work then I'll know where I stand.