Why so many dateless attractive women?

[iremember]

It seems like there are so many threads here from women who say something to the point of "I'm attractive but I never get asked out." I'll admit, I'm curious about this because I feel the same way. What is going on? I don't think guys are intimidated by these women because the majority of attractive women do get asked out. I've read many answers to these types of threads in which people suggest solutions (flirting, going out, eye contact, etc), but I really feel like I do all those things. I have been quite forward with certain guys and nothing ever happens. I see others less attractive than me getting more male attention than I do. I'm not saying I am some goddess who should be the center of attention, I'm just a little confused as to why this happens. Could anyone enlighten us ladies? Guys, what would cause you to approach one attractive girl over another?

[Mavh25]

Maybe you're going to the wrong places?

[MT1981]

from a guys perspective - this is what i look for with women

 

1) she is not stumbling around

2) she is not throwing up after a huge night out

3) she is not having a hangover and is in a grumpy mood

4) shes able to hold a decent conversation and not sit there just sitting quietly not knowing what to say

5) she makes eye contact when talking

6) she has to be cultured and articulate, and the way she carries herself has to show a sense of confidence and self worth

 

Basically thats what attracts me to a woman. Def the first 2 - is a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig no no. I dont bother with pubs or clubs anymore - because thats all that I get there, just drunks.

[waveseer]

I don't know either. Before I had a family I went out pretty much whenever I felt like it.

[iremember]

from a guys perspective - this is what i look for with women

 

1) she is not stumbling around

2) she is not throwing up after a huge night out

3) she is not having a hangover and is in a grumpy mood

4) shes able to hold a decent conversation and not sit there just sitting quietly not knowing what to say

5) she makes eye contact when talking

6) she has to be cultured and articulate, and the way she carries herself has to show a sense of confidence and self worth

 

Basically thats what attracts me to a woman. Def the first 2 - is a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig no no. I dont bother with pubs or clubs anymore - because thats all that I get there, just drunks.

 

Funny that you say this, because it seems to me that the women you say you don't want are the exact ones I see getting asked out all the time! I am not a partier at all. Guys have even told me they like that about me but it never gets me a date. I actually think I meet all of your requirements. Maybe I just have the completely wrong image of myself. Maybe I actually don't possess the good qualities I think I do. Maybe we are expecting to get asked out due to over confidence.

[zzprometheuszz]

Funny that you say this, because it seems to me that the women you say you don't want are the exact ones I see getting asked out all the time! I am not a partier at all. Guys have even told me they like that about me but it never gets me a date. I actually think I meet all of your requirements. Maybe I just have the completely wrong image of myself. Maybe I actually don't possess the good qualities I think I do. Maybe we are expecting to get asked out due to over confidence.

 

I agree that this looks good in paper. but how well does this work in the real world?

 

I actually have a confession to make. In here or in real world I would never admit that I would have anything to do with the more "social" girls. But in reality I would be interested because it was easy. They seemed to like me and wanted me without me having to put much effort in it.

 

I am lazy, and I think I speak for some men out there as well.

 

If there's two girl and one of them seemed easier and more interested then I think some men are more likely to go for those one.

 

it's like picking apple from an apple tree, the good one are at the top and it's harder to get to. The rotten one are at the bottom of the floor and anyone can get to them. The apple at the top are thinking that there's something wrong with them because no one wanted to put in the effort to go to the top of the tree.

 

or something like that...don't know if i am making sense lolz

[tink0688]

I've been wondering the same thing! I never get approached but my ex and my dad have both said that they always catch other guys checking me out. haha Why isn't this transferring over to guys asking me out? I feel the same frustration you do...Most of the guys who actually do approach me are the wrong ones. Not to sound cocky or anything but I feel like I am out of their league for both looks and just as people, meaning that they are the ones who aren't really going anywhere in life, while I'm trying to do the opposite. I think those are the ones who just think I'm attractive and want to get some. Other guys who approach less attractive women maybe think that those women are "easy," especially if the guy is good looking. This is just a guess. I really have no idea. I know there are nice guys out there, so where are they?! haha

[Buttterfly]

I am a woman too and kind of had this problem until i got bored withthe whole thing and gave up wondering whether i'll ever find someone, anyone. Just be playful and your normal self wihtout much self-consciousness on the fact that you're a single woman, just poke fun at it if you must, and mingle, mingle, mingle, expose yourself in all the circles you can, and enjoy yourself, maybe take a proactive approach too when talking to men, don't think of them as someone 'potential' in any way, but just normal people, some more interesting/funny/quirky/weird/gross/etc than the others. Up to you to discover which is which, if u take a genuine interest in people. I thikn the moment you stop of thining of being single as a vulnerability, it will make you act a bit different, maybe more curious, playful, etc. I dont want to brag but now I pull all kinds and it's because I go to loads of social events (have you heard of link removed), and it happens only after i have bothered to put a little effort myself in interracting/getting to know someone else, male or female.

[MT1981]

If guys have told you that but then dont do anything about it, then perhaps they are not ready for someone like you. Maybe see where you hang out to meet guys etc - try and different way to meet guys??

 

Funny that you say this, because it seems to me that the women you say you don't want are the exact ones I see getting asked out all the time! I am not a partier at all. Guys have even told me they like that about me but it never gets me a date. I actually think I meet all of your requirements. Maybe I just have the completely wrong image of myself. Maybe I actually don't possess the good qualities I think I do. Maybe we are expecting to get asked out due to over confidence.

[strategos]

from a guys perspective - this is what i look for with women

 

1) she is not stumbling around

2) she is not throwing up after a huge night out

3) she is not having a hangover and is in a grumpy mood

4) shes able to hold a decent conversation and not sit there just sitting quietly not knowing what to say

5) she makes eye contact when talking

6) she has to be cultured and articulate, and the way she carries herself has to show a sense of confidence and self worth...

 

Ditto. I can't say more Although I'd value the last three a LOT more.

 

But sometimes, if you see what you want go after it. There's nothing that says women should wait for men to do the asking out.

[ay0_x]

Perhaps there is a man drought where you live.

[Ammy]

I've had this same problem. Objectively people tell me I'm pretty but I have always had difficult meeting men who are interested in me. I have recently had a bit more activity dating wise.. and the change has been my confidence level and my ability to engage in more "fun" conversations as opposed to be serious. I am a serious girl in that I am deep, emotional, intelligent etc... but now I am using my intelligence to not only appear smart in a serious way but to appear quirky, kooky, funny and sarcastic and this has worked wonders. I used to treat dates like interviews, now I try and have more fun and this has worked somewhat!

 

That said I still have a lot of difficulties... I don't know why... some possibilities =

1. Men are intimidated

2. Men only see the beauty and don't see the good person behind that too - which might mean they see you shallowly...

3. Are you shy? Are you confident enough in yourself?

 

Ammy

[top bloke]

What do you class as attractive? Be genuine. Relate.Enjoy the company of people..smile..be a bit more feminine. Dress nicer..a bit of lipstick..nice dress..shoes..

A single man wants to feel wanted by a nice interesting and most of all a feminine woman.

[iremember]

What do you class as attractive? Be genuine. Relate.Enjoy the company of people..smile..be a bit more feminine. Dress nicer..a bit of lipstick..nice dress..shoes..

A single man wants to feel wanted by a nice interesting and most of all a feminine woman.

I've taken steps to become more feminine, attractive, and friendly. I definitely dress well, I smile, and I'm approachable in social situations.

 

"There's nothing that says women should wait for men to do the asking out."

 

I haven't ever asked a guy out, but I have told guys I'm interested. Things never worked out with these guys. I've come to realize that the type of guy I'm looking for would be confident enough to approach me, so I've resolved not to make the first move anymore. I will, of course, continue to non-verbally let the guy know I'm interested, but if he is really the guy I'm looking for, he will do the asking out.

[Mario_Basler]

If a girl is attractive, and she knows it, then there are a plethora of 'unwritten rules' the guy has to consider.

 

Firstly, unless the guy is a real looker something else needs to be on the table of equal barter to the female's attractiveness;

 

1) Money

2) Power / social status

 

Rightly or wrongly the first think I think when I see an uber attractive girl is 'get the * * * * out the way you clown'. Even if I did put the effort in to project some phony magnanimous personality that would entice and amuse her (juggling balls of fire etc.) to get my foot in the door the game would be up at second base when I don't overtly demonstrate some value in the above two categories (fancy car, swanky living conditions, cocktail parties etc).

 

Like it or not, if you're more attractive the stakes are raised and for those of us who don't have the chips, we're folding before you're even at the table. You shouldn't worry for a second though if you are attractive, the 'worthy' will eventually find you and give you that which you desire, the script is already written.

[Huzzah_89]

Hey everyone. Im a young male and whenever I see a really attractive woman at a club (poster) I always assume she has a boyfriend or is seeing someone.

 

There's also the intimidation factor, putting yourself up for rejection and such.

[cat_lady]

Its easy - show more skin.

 

Yes, you will attracted more jerks, no its not going to deter most nice and decent men (unless they have issues with female sexuality - but then, do you want them anyway?) and no most of these nice and decent guys aren't going to think you're easy unless you attract trashy as well.