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It appears that I have a tendency when I'm talking about something that's negative, to go on the deep end, and come out with very piercing or obsessive sort of statements that almost make me feel that I'm a bit crazy. I'm hoping to have more 'healthy' sort of statements -- rather "ill" ones.

 

For example, I may voice some certain negative experiences about the Real-Estatebusiness, but rather than it looking like a normal slow period, it is sort of portrayed like a "God has forgotten about me", or "my plight is worst than your plight" sort of negativity on the choice of diction and conviction in what is being said. (i.e. making no income last year, or client's dissappearing on me when I'm working on them or putting deals together resulting in no deals for the first half of this year, etc....). While I don't mean things to be expressed that way, it just seems to happen sometimes.

 

The black level thinking is also characteristic of people writing suicide posts, where they are seeing no positive or undermining any positive interpretation with overwhelming negative thoughts. The only difference is I'm not thinking of suicide, but I think I sound like I'm trying to portray some unique negative scenerio that would just kill the human spirit, or make me look (socially) retarded. I think I'm starting alienating myself and scaring people off when I start voicing.

 

I'm trying to figure out why I tend to indulge in making extreme negative expressions, whether this is evidence of a disorder, some sort of depression, a personality disorder or imbalance somewhere. Do other people have this type of problem? Could it be a dietary imbalance? What did you do to fix it?

Is this a cognitive behavioural therapy issue?

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It does happen to depressed people. I had to learn to reprogram my negative thinking. For me, my whole life would suck if I would, say, break a lamp. I had to say to myself, "No my life doesn't suck, a lamp broke. I can fix it." I had to do that with every time I saw a negative spiral start to take over.

 

My therapist had me read Feeling Good by David Burns which is a cognitive therapy based book.

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Here is some further analysis or background:

 

I'm calling perverse incentives. That means, I'm deriving from perverse benefit or emotional reward by making negative expressions, but I feel it's a sort of self-deception.

 

For example, if I'm talking to a female friend, first of all, if I have lots of negative things to talk about, then that means there is subject matter or an excuse to keep her on the phone and maximize the time she is on the phone to give me attention. So, attention is the first perverse incentive.

 

The second perverse incentive is having an empathetic or motherly connection. For whatever reason it appears that I enjoy feeding on this from women, and it's more likely to get that sort of connection by making negative expressions.

 

If there is any further insights about this that I get I'll continue to modify this post.

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