Dating a Shy Guy

[Caringaries]

I have been interested in this guy who is very shy. He hardly talks a lot, most of the time, he listen. I met him at a religious class and will always see each other there. It was me who make the move on him. Now, he calls me once a week to chit-chat, of which he never does that to other girls. I also invited him for the first time out for lunch on his birthday. The second time I tried to have lunch with him on a Saturday and he rejected. Reason being he agrees to have lunch with his mom every Saturday. I really like to date him again but not sure if I should be asking again? I'm afraid he may think I'm too aggressive. Need advise.

[rvr350]

Guys shouldn't have trouble thinking that girls are getting too aggressive. You can always be more subtle, try using some excuse to get together, rather just ask him out right. Just let him feel more comfortable around you, and who knows, maybe he's not as shy as you thought he is.

[A4B4]

At first I didn't know how to respond to this, but after viewing rvr's response, I wouldn't recommend going in if you think you might come accross as "aggressive." I am a shy guy myself, and I am more attracted to the shy girls who don't make the first moves. For me, at least, calling someone once a week is good enough, and I wouldn't really want more, at this point in time... but that's just me. I guess it also depends on how long you've known him.

 

But then again, I'm not sure if you should be listening to me... I haven't been the most successful, but largely just because I'm not ready for more.

 

I hope this helps. This is my first time offering any sort of advice here, so...

[Massari]

You have no Idea how many shy guys are out there. they think they are ugly or they are out of shape. but that is not the problem the problem is the lack of confidence that suffers us. as a shy guys I can tell you he wouldn,t mind if you actually ask him out on an official date, especially if you are saying that he calls you up every week just to chit chat (something that I still not able to do if I have a phone number of a girl) it really means a lot a to a shy guy if he is doing that to make contacts with you. in my opinion I say he really likes you and he sees that you actually care for him. I am in a similar situation right now.. but I have a different problem.. the girl that stole my heart is my sister's friend she is really shy.. and as a shy guys I am really attracted to shy and down to earth girls. . " if you want you can real my post the name is " I want to day my sister's shy girlfriend and I am also very shy". please give me some tips on what to do in this situation.. any way back to your problem as I mentioned he calls you weekly just to chit chat.. if I were him and a nice girl like you come and tells me how I feel I wouldn't mind .. and I would be happy to start a relationship with that person. but then since I have never actually had a real girlfirend.. I can't tell you much but this.. hope I have helped

[curiousgeorge916]

Don't worry about being aggressive. After all, you wouldn't worry about calling up some girl you just met to hang out or go out to lunch, would you? No, so stop worrying about the sex difference, and realize this is just another person that you enjoy being with.

[pamelina77]

I think curiousgeorge gave good advice! That's what I am trying to remember when I think about the shy guy I like. I don't have any advice for you, but I can relate to what you are saying. It is so scary to call a guy!!! The worst thing is when you actually get up the nerve to call and then no one is home! I would recommend practicing what you are going to say in case you get the answering machine.

[Derek]

hmm,

 

perhaps find ways to make him feel comfortable enough to be confident with you...

 

i.e. you can get him alone without interruptions to let him be himself and ask him leading questions and little jokes that may let him try out his initiative on you because you are a safe bet for him...

"you know, if you asked me to lunch, I wouldn't say no."

 

 

I've heard that many a happy relationship has come from a woman knowing how to make her man feel powerful, even if he's not...