Want to figure out his true intentions.

[bebeblondie]

So, I have a third date tonight with a guy who I've been seeing for about two weeks (known each other for a year). He lives about 45 min away from me, and on all the dates thus far he's come to my town (including tonight). On our second date things got a little hot and heavy and I invited him in, we fooled around (no intercourse). Now I just want to make sure that he's not just in this with the sole pupose of getting laid. I was thinking of not inviting him back to my apartment tonight, but if I do this will he think I'm not interested in him? If so what is the best way of going about this?

[metrogirl]

Just wondering why you don't want to get hot and heavy with him tonite? Since you already have he very well may just have that on his mind.

[bebeblondie]

Because if he's just in it for the sex, I don't really want to continue seeing him, cause I really like him. I don't want to become a booty call, or have him drop off the face of the earth once he gets sex from me. I know I might sound a bit paranoid, but I just can't help it. I've read too many posts on here about women having sex with a guy and then he bails.

[cbh1979]

Unfortunately, given what happened last time his expectations are probably such that if you don't invite him back to your place he's going to wonder what is up. If he does, maybe you could just tell him you want to slow things down a little?

[Scorpion Fury]

Unfortunately, given what happened last time his expectations are probably such that if you don't invite him back to your place he's going to wonder what is up. If he does, maybe you could just tell him you want to slow things down a little?

 

Pretty much. if he's into you, he won't mind.

[metrogirl]

Because if he's just in it for the sex, I don't really want to continue seeing him, cause I really like him. I don't want to become a booty call, or have him drop off the face of the earth once he gets sex from me. I know I might sound a bit paranoid, but I just can't help it. I've read too many posts on here about women having sex with a guy and then he bails.

 

Ok but who's to say he won't bail after 10 dates and 1 night of sex?

 

I think trying to figure these things out is futile.

[25thfloor]

Because if he's just in it for the sex, I don't really want to continue seeing him, cause I really like him. I don't want to become a booty call, or have him drop off the face of the earth once he gets sex from me. I know I might sound a bit paranoid, but I just can't help it. I've read too many posts on here about women having sex with a guy and then he bails.

 

if i really really like someone, and i'm interested in something more than just sex, they can come over and even sleep over....but we're not going to get 'that busy'.

[maverick554]

Yeah I have to say that as a man if a girl I had been out with a few times and was getting more serious about (I'm assuming you two text and talk regularly throughout the day and what not), and we did something sexual and thens he didn't want to do it anymore I would think like she didn't like me anymore or because of the sexual experience she was now wierded out or something. Its up to you, but maybe invite him again and get "hot and heavy" whatever that means, but don't have sex with him again and see what happens. If he isn't another scumbag just out to get laid, he won't mind and will continue to put in the time and effort because he likes you, but at the same time he will know that you are still very interested in him. Hope this makes sense.

[HeartGoesOn]

I feel that inviting a guy into your apartment on the second date, sends the wrong message.

 

It's a little late to lock the barn door, after the horse got out, but I would try to keep future dates public, until you get to know him better, and to see if there's a true connection.