Don't know how to break off friendship

[Mishmash]

There's a co-worker who, through out my divorce, has been giving me advice. She was a paralegal about 10-15 years ago and is now a dog trainer.

 

The problem is, I'm finding out that most of her advice simply isn't true. She also likes to makes scenarios of "what if he does this" and 'what if this happens" and is constantly asking me about any new developments.

 

Her relationship advice isn't much better. I told her that "one day, when I'm ready, I'd like to have another relationship". Her response was, "Well, if a penis is THAT important to you". What???

 

She then goes on to tell me that all men cheat, and if I'm ever in another relationship to just accept the fact that he will cheat. She said that my grandfathers and father cheated, they just weren't caught. I told her I don't believe what she does, and just because they are her beliefs, that doesn't make them true.

 

I find myself becoming extremely anxious, nervous, worked-up, and worried after having conversations with her. It's to the point where my arm breaks out in hives when I see her, or know that we'll be working together.

 

After her last scenario I told her "My lawyer is aware of the situation, and I'm going to let him handle it. It's out of my hands so I'm not going to worry about it". Still, she kept insisting on asking me several times afterward "What are you going to do about xxxx situation?". I gave her the same answer, hoping she would take the hint and ease off.

 

She said she was going to submit her resume to my lawyer (which irritated me). She also tried to touch my face and she became irritated when I stepped back to avoid it. The next time she saw me, she grabbed my arm and started to rub it (which really irritated me). I think she did that because she knew it would bother me.

 

Last week I decided not to associate with her, partly because of all the negativity and drama, and partly because, well, she's someone I just don't care to be friends with.

The problem is, I'm usually straightforward and blunt. She's sensitive and cries (literally) at the smallest of things. I know she's just trying to be helpful, but that's not what's happening.

So, I've been avoiding her and she's been cornering me. I just need ideas of what to say so I don't hurt her feelings.

I swear, it feels like I'm breaking up with her.

[LanceVanceDance]

Do you think she might be attracted to you and think of you as some sort of girlfriend? Because that's how it sounds. She clearly has major issues with men in general (I can't believe the "Well, if a penis is THAT important to you" comment) and what's with touching your face? I don't touch my friends' faces. Maybe it's more usual for girls, but still?

[Capricorn3]

She then goes on to tell me that all men cheat, and if I'm ever in another relationship to just accept the fact that he will cheat. She said that my grandfathers and father cheated, they just weren't caught.

 

She also tried to touch my face and she became irritated when I stepped back to avoid it. The next time she saw me, she grabbed my arm and started to rub it (which really irritated me).

I could be way off base here, but I can't help getting the impression she is actually attracted to you in that way. She seems to be very anti men in general and seems to be way too interested and involved in your personal life. Something just seems very off with her (imo).

 

If she's annoying you and getting too pushy, you may have no choice but to bluntly tell her that you no longer want to discuss the subject and to please stop with all the questions. Other than that, all you can do is avoid her as much as you possibly can. Hopefully she'll get the message sooner than later.

[offplanet]

It's really not good for you to have to deal with someone who affects you to the point that you break out in hives. Enough is enough. If she isn't getting the hint, you might need to be more blunt with her, even if she does cry. Your health and wellbeing is important too. This time, you must think of your own feelings. Going through the divorce is stressful enough without having to deal with an intrusive person. She's overstepping the boundaries, and won't realize that unless it's spelt out to her, it seems. You will need to set the boundaries yourself. You can do it without being offensive. Hope you do it, as this sounds toxic.