Is it Time to Call this Friendship Quits?

[IcecreamLove]

Alright this is going to be a bit long but I'd appreciate someone's opinion . . .

 

I've grown out of friends before, which was difficult. I had a friend from kindergarten, and as we got older, I was the only one who was holding up the friendship. I was really young and didn't have many other friends transitioning from Catholic school to public school so my friend from kindergarten was all I had at the time.

 

Time passed by and it was a huge effort on my part, but years and years passed and I realized it wasn't worth it. She can be my friend if she wants to, and if not, hey, no big deal.

 

I've never been good at making friends and took me awhile to find a really good friend once more. Let's call her "Cyndi."

 

Cyndi and I were best friends all through high school and continued to be really close after high school. After high school she tried to get me to move 4 hours away to a college with her, when I had no interest. The idea of moving sounded fun, but I knew it wasn't something I could do as of yet. Eventually Cyndi moved 4 hours away for college and I had to learn to live without hanging out with just HER.

 

Because of her fun bubbly personality, she has a ton of more friends than I do but never claims anyone as her "best" friend. I was there for her, through some really tough times. One of her really close friends died in a car accident in high school and that is how we bonded at first.

 

Cyndi couldn't stand the college or location she had chose to move and eventually came back to town. I had already started my college education commuting an hour away, and was busy with that, while she was bouncing back and forth with jobs and making new friends. Which I'll admit, I was, am still am, jealous of the fun friend-filled life that she has.

 

But we've only seen each other 2 times in the past 7 months. She just got in contact with me and said that she misses me etc. The times we had been planning to hang out, over and over again were always dropped for one reason or another. The one day, right after work it was a Sunday, we had planned like 2 weeks a head of time to hang out, and she ended up saying yikes, today is my anniversary with my boyfriend, and broke the plans. That really upset me.

 

Although, both times that we DID hang out together, in the past 7 months, once was New Years. There have always things that really bother me about Cyndi. She is a huge attention * * * * * . Generally I'm not a demanding nor assertive person so I had no problems with her picking and choosing what to do. We always had fun whether it be buying ketchup or dancing around her living room.

 

The last few times we have hanged out with each other, we were with a group of people she decided to have tag along, her boyfriend and his best friend. New Years was a HUGE group of people obviously and she was being the normal pay-attention-to-me-please, the entire time which is rather annoying. She complains about her weight, she's a vegetarian, has strong opinions about what people eat, behavior inappropriately almost anywhere, constantly texting other people while you're with her, etc etc.

 

She's like a child. If she doesn't get her way, she will whine, make you feel guilty or just walk off. There was a time, me and our two mutual friends went on a trip to a big city, and she literally walked off, over something so stupid as where were eating. It's just annoying.

 

I've been friends with her long enough that the guilt tripping and baby act doesn't work with me anymore. But it's disappointing to see her pull the same routine around her roommate and boyfriend, and others and just watching them completely cave, when it's nothing more than an act. It's these reasons that she moved back, her roommate in her flat at college, didn't tolerate her not pulling her weight and being winy.

 

Cyndi was going to move back to her flat 4hrs away, and once again propositioned me to move with her. It's not something I want to do, so I told her no. And I'm not the only one she's asking, I know for a fact, she's asking tons of other people as well.

 

As mean as it sounds I just want her to move so I don't have to deal with her and her little routines with the people she brings with to hang out with me and her. Like I said she just got back in contact with me, telling me she misses me and stuff and wanted to know when we can hang out again. I told her maybe we could go see a movie, and she said, alright, but my boyfriend and this other guy may come too, but they won't interrupt our date. Obviously she's joking, and I can't stand either of them.

 

I've made 2 or 3 other friends at my college, an hour away. I have a feeling these people are my new closest friends. They are people I can rely on and actually listen to me when I talk and find the things I say interesting and usually have insight. I've told them about the trouble that I have making friends here and about Cyndi and they pretty much agree with me, that she's just not worth the headache.

 

She used to be a good friend of mine, she's one of the most interesting and funnest person I know and I'd hate to lose her, yet at the same time I really agree with my new friends. What should I do?

[tbone22]

I think that its time to move on... obviously you don't have too many good qualities to say about her and she just gets on your case. I've had experiences with friends that had issues that bothered me and I started getting angry and talking behind their backs... and one day I had enough and let them go, it made me feel a whole lot better that I didn't have to complain all the time about my friend.

[Merrick]

I agree with tbone. You repeadedly said how annoying she is and all the stuff you don't like about her. Just b/c someone is fun to hang with doesn't mean they are good 'friends'. It just means they are fun temporarily.

 

You've only seen her twice and it bugged you both times...time to move on i think!!

[IcecreamLove]

That is so true, thank you guys.

 

I actually just ran into her the day I wrote this post at the store at around 10pm . . . ugh.

 

I think I'm just going to keep counting down the days until she moves again.