Is it ok to get pregnant and not tell him...HOw??

[Shikas]

I love him so much....that i cant live without him..but i know that he loves me too...but cant be with me....We broke up..and i miss him badly..He was separated from his wife..when he was dating me...and suddenly she pops up...and they back together...he was still seeing me once a week...but we only made love the day before we broke up..cuz i told him wife that he was having an affair with me..It was a bad mistake which i regret now..He was not talking to me anymore nor emailing me...and I was devasted cuz i missed him badly...and i wanted things to go as it was before between us. After 4months..He started talking to me over the phone..just general...and i convinced him that i want to meet him...so he agreed..when we met...he kissed me..but didnt tell me how he feels for me...I kept falling in love with him...and i feel that i really want him some how...so i thought...if not him..why not his baby...I could spend the rest of my life having his baby with me...to show him that i loved him..so much..But dont know if he will want to make love to me again or not..may be i have to seduce him a bit...hopefully he doesnt use condoms..usually he withdraws on my tummy...Is it possible to collect that when he goes to the bathroom...and use that later and get pregnant..i dont know if it will be still fresh enough to get pregnant....Sounds unusual...but i really want to have his baby...Cuz i love him so much.....Any suggestions...

[SLBG]

Why do you want to trap him.

 

If he loves you then you should tell him you want to have his baby.

 

Plz try 2 think straight, I would not suggest that you try to trap him.

[avman]

Whoa, whoa, whoa here. Lets step back from this for a second.

 

Having a child is HARD WORK. A child is not a prize or a trophy that you can have to remember this past relationship. A child is a living, breathing, human being with thoughts, hopes, dreams, and needs. And having it by yourself means you alone get to meet those needs 7 days a week, 24 hours a day.

 

People should have children because they want children - not because they want something else. Thats totally unfair to the child because the child doesn't get a choice. Do you think this man is going to be happy about the situation if you do this? He will NOT see it as an act of love on your part. He will see it as an act of deceit and manipulation. Thats not going to endear him to you. Trust me on this.

 

Another thing you might consider is if you do get pregnant and have a baby, he might just fight you for custody. Is that something you really want to have to face? What if you lose? What if he fights you on child support and paternity?

 

No, its time for you to face some harsh realities. He's gone. I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out. But seducing him to have a baby will make things so much worse you can't imagine it. Take some time for just yourself now. You need to heal from all this. Do not contact him anymore. Its too tempting for you and will only cause you both more heartache. Use the time and distance to gain some acceptance in your heart over the situation. And later on down the line when you are in a stable loving relationship with someone, then you can talk together about having children.

 

avman

[spiderman_56]

the kid is definetely a very very BAD idea ... the relationship between u and that man do not even stand 1 inch tall and there is no harmony between u guyz ..and u want to involve a third person who will only pay the prices of all the wrong goin on in that relationship ?!? a kid is 2 full time job and there is also money that u need to find 4 u guyz to survive

really forget that idea of the kid .. we should have children becuz we are ready to offer them the best of this world not because we want to fufill our personal needs.

 

peace and luv ....

[SLBG]

Shikas

 

Me and my ex fiancee were together 5 years. We have been split up for 6 weeks.

 

Look, part of the reason we split up was because I wasnt ready to have children with her. She kept asking and I would always change the subject or say no.

 

Now that she has gone I realize how much children must of meant to her but after contacting her a week after the break up telling her I was now ready to start a family she told me that she didnt want to take me back just because I was no read y for children.

 

They are a huge commitment, they are not toys, they are lil people who deserve a good upbrining and a mom and dad who love each other.

 

What im trying to say is having a baby will not change his mind, u have to back off and let him make his mind up.

 

If he decides that u r the one for him then maybe later on down the line starting a family would be a good idea.

 

I also feel desperate to get my ex fiancee back, I told her I would have kids with her if she would come back.

 

I can now see that I dont want her to come back just because I will give her what she wants. Now that she is single and living a single life she may not want to have children any more.

 

Plz dont do it, I think u will b making the biggest mistake. Tell him how u feel, tell him u want his babies. just b patient.

 

If my ex fiancee had more patients she would of got her child, all I needed was a bit of time to think. I am now ready to be a dad but now Im not sure if my ex fiancee will ever be the mother of my children.

 

Hope this has helped.

 

slbg

[sweetie_33]

NOO...its a bad idea, having a baby is not an easy thing to handle...u have to be responsible and u cant just have a baby and do whatever u want...its just wrong...

if he really loves u, he would get back to u even if u dont have a baby..

 

so i think..u should talk to him, and tell him how u feel and then u could know if he really loves u!

[cakes]

Hi there,

 

I agree with Avman's post. You have to realize the reality- he is gone. And what you wish to pursue is pure manipulation which he will see clearly- that would only push him further away from you and have negative feelings towards you. Having a child for the sake of winning a married man back into your life will only complicate your life so much more.

 

I am so sure that there is another man out there that may even be better than the one you thought you were so in love with. Try to move on. If he really really had feelings for you true enough for him to consider developing a long-term relationship with you he would not have returned to his wife.

 

You have to recognize that having a child for the sake of winning him back will do you no good nor will it do the child or your relationship with this man. He may not even forgive you for it.

[Shikas]

thanks guys for the advice....and i really appreciate what u all have suggested..I wasnt thinking to have a baby to have him back into my life..I have been through a lot in my life..I already have a 8yr of daughter..I was married before and abused physically and mentally...After i got divorced...I met a guy who took advantage of me for his own benefits....He financially used me...and then i broke up with him...then i met this guy..who was separated with his wife then....after few months when i fell in love with him...he turns around and tells me that his parents are pushing him to work out his marriage..He comes to me..and tells me that he loves me and will never forget...and if in the future it doesnt work out with her..he will come back..but while she was there..he was still seeing me...and suddenly one day i broke the secret to his wife..and he got upset...and i lost him forever...I Loved him...and i admire him a lot..his intelligence , his looks and his personality...being with three guys in my life...I had enough...and i feel very lonely..I dont think i will fall in love again..My heart has been torn apart which will never heal...So i thought to have his baby and spend the rest of my life living with his kid...and nourish..educate him ...as well as give him his name....when he grows up...and become something...then i will tell him who the father was..and that i never stopped loving him....even though he hurt me so much...That is the only reason why i wanted to have his baby...

[Shortie]

Wow, i understand how you are felling when it comes to the situation. I am currently "seeing" the guy i have been in love with for 8 years. (since high school) He has a son with another girl who is his ex but he stil loves her. I also know he has felt something for me since we were kids,but he cant love me till hes over her. Problem is i may be pregnant with his baby. He doesnt want another child and im not exactly ready either but ive been told if i wanna be with him to keep the baby so he will stay with me. But theres no way that i can do that to him knowing how it would hurt him, because i love him. Bottom line is i love him that much that i would rather see him happy than know he was only with me coz of the baby. So what u have to realise is u may get him to stay with u 4 the kid but his heart will always resent you. And is that how you want to be with him???

[Invicta]

Ok, I'm warning you before you read this. This reply is not ment to be comforting or mean, but it is probably pretty hurtful. I'm only 21, but I'v already had my heart smashed and scattered accross the surface of the sun. There is no joy love or pain left inside me, but as a result I can say what I truly think and I always think I'm right.

 

Listen Sweetie

 

No matter how much you loved this guy, having his baby is simply a bad idea. You obviously feel like * * * * for messing up what you had going with him and you think by raising his kid you can somehow punish / redeem yourself for ruining your chance to be with him.

 

Before you make a decision that will profoundly affect the rest of your life stop and take a look at the situation:

 

#1 - He was already married.

 

These relationships are always unstable. No matter how strongly you felt for him, he was unable to give the same back because he had emotions already committed in an entirely different direction.

 

#2 - You have had a terrible experience with men.

 

Being abused as you have can cause profound emotional trauma. Abuse victims often blame themselves (sometimes unknowingly) and tragicly often end up being atracted to abusive men. This guy sounds like a half decent fellow... he was cheating on his wife and broke two womens hearts though. No matter how obsessed with him you may be, it is often best to focus on your own life in times of trajedy. Ask yourself if you are happy to have met him. If meeting him was a good thing then in time you should have no regrets. Life has its peaks and valleys, and I am personally gratefull for both the best and worst moments in my life. The day I die I want to feel that I'v experienced everything this world has to offer. I keep a poem in my wallet and I read it from time to time when I get dragged down by pain in my life. check it out link removed

 

#3 - YOU ALREADY HAVE A KID!!!!

 

What the hell are you saying you want to raise and take care of some married dude's kid. You can't associate your kid with the father if he is no longer in the picture. What... are you mean to your 8 year old because the father was a bum? If you get pregnant you will just have another kid... and you would be a bad mother if your personal problems made you play favoritism

 

#4 - Figure your your true motives

 

There's no way you truly plan to get pregnant and not tell him. I mean seriously, you told the wife. You had an understanding with this man that your relationship was an affair and leaking to the wife was incredibly selfish thing to do. This makes me doubt the authenticity of your love for him. Clearly, you placed your emotions and desire to be with him above any consideration of his feelings or situation. Getting pregnat... regardless of your intention to raise the kid yourself, also fails to "prove" that you love him. Your gift to him would be a permanent knot of guilt and pain in his throat.

 

Hey, if you still want to get pregnant I might as give you some advice. And great news!!! The law is on your side, so when you start getting bitter for having to raise another kid you can foce the married dude to give you money.

Here is a recent court decision that may give you some insight:

link removed

 

Always flush your condoms!!!

 

over and out

 

Invicta